It’s beginning to feel a lot like go screw yourself!
A fat bellied fellow who is often quite mellow
‘till it comes to the end of the year
Hits December quite stressed and things all seem a mess
And he’d kill for a steak and a beer
But alas he must graft and the toys he must craft
As the list don’t diminish in size
Thick and fast they demand on his doorstep they land
Letters bulging with needs long and wide
And he says to his wife “Baby this ain’t no life”
“Lets just quit and go live somewhere warm”
She replies “Oh my dear, we are bound up I fear
With the contact to which you are sworn”
He protests and he pouts and he stomps and he shouts
Insists “Amazon can do it just fine,
Or the Chinese perhaps, theyre industrious chaps
And their margins are better than mine”
“Oh dear Nick you sweet man you just do what you can
More than that you can surely not do”
And she gives him a hug and she makes him a mug
Of hot chocolate and a biscuit or two
Then he stomps back to work mumbling “god what a jerk”
As a letter he reads, just received
Me me me it insists as he reads through the list
Its so long its quite hard to believe
“No no no” Nick protests “I think it would be best
To go see this young chap straight away”
But his wife calms him down , “Babe just put on your gown
Head up stairs I’ll be there straight away”
As they climb into bed she caresses his head
Says “Now Nick you just need to remember
They’re just children with needs, ok some with pure greed
But you know what it’s like each December
It’ll be over soon and fore long will be June
And well take a few weeks, go away
Maybe go see some sights and we’ll spend a few nights
Somewhere nice you can pick where we stay”
And he grumbles and sighs and then smiles and his eyes
have that twinkle she knows what comes next
“You’re a star, and you’re right” then he turns out the light
Cos its time for some hot Christmas sex
Sorry about the ending, I’m tired and need to get to sleep 😊
