Christmas job satisfaction ain’t what it used to be…


A fat bellied fellow who is often quite mellow

‘till it comes to the end of the year

Hits December quite stressed and things all seem a mess

And he’d kill for a steak and a beer


But alas he must graft and the toys he must craft

As the list don’t diminish in size

Thick and fast they demand on his doorstep they land

Letters bulging with needs long and wide


And he says to his wife “Baby this ain’t no life”

“Lets just quit and go live somewhere warm”

She replies “Oh my dear, we are bound up I fear

With the contact to which you are sworn”


He protests and he pouts and he stomps and he shouts

Insists “Amazon can do it just fine,

Or the Chinese perhaps, theyre industrious chaps

And their margins are better than mine”


“Oh dear Nick you sweet man you just do what you can

More than that you can surely not do”

And she gives him a hug and she makes him a mug

Of hot chocolate and a biscuit or two


Then he stomps back to work mumbling “god what a jerk”

As a letter he reads, just received

Me me me it insists as he reads through the list

Its so long its quite hard to believe


“No no no” Nick protests “I think it would be best

To go see this young chap straight away”

But his wife calms him down , “Babe just put on your gown

Head up stairs I’ll be there straight away”


As they climb into bed she caresses his head

Says “Now Nick you just need to remember

They’re just children with needs, ok some with pure greed

But you know what it’s like each December


It’ll be over soon and fore long will be June

And well take a few weeks, go away

Maybe go see some sights and we’ll spend a few nights

Somewhere nice you can pick where we stay”


And he grumbles and sighs and then smiles and his eyes

have that twinkle she knows what comes next

“You’re a star, and you’re right” then he turns out the light

Cos its time for some hot Christmas sex


Sorry about the ending, I’m tired and need to get to sleep 😊