I saw that number plate on the way home today and it got me to thinking as to just what sort of person must they be that they are so confident in their fun factor they that he would demonstrate its apparent stellar quality in such a manner. To have BIG FUN as your number plate you must surely be special.
Now I am going to suppose it is a man as I doubt a woman would ever boast of her ability to have fun in such a way. Maybe it is just me and the way I was brought up but were it a woman driving such a car with that number plate I would imagine she was prone to sexual dalliances and enjoys a jolly good seeing to with anyone who was kind enough to buy her a whisky sour. I know that is awful of me, and you know what – I blame society and my parents. She might just actually be great fun and enjoy practical jokes and paintballing.
To be clear, those aren’t the opposite ends of some fun scale I have when assessing the funness of a woman.
So I am sat there in traffic imagining him and I did feel somewhat intimidated. I like to think I am good fun when I am out, especially after a couple of whisky sours but he is probably the sort that makes me feel inferior and withdraw somewhat.
It was a bit like that time I saw a chap at the swimming baths with the largest penis I have ever seen. He had a carer with him as he had some rather apparent learning difficulties but what he lacked in one regard nature had certainly compensated him for in the underpants department. He strutted around the open change room like a Grecian god swinging care free and repeatedly bashing into the lockers. He was having a fabulous time of it, blissfully happy and beaming from ear to ear and it left me feeling wholly inadequate.
But back to our fun time Freddie. What must he be like I wondered? Great hair for one – fun people are prone to fabulous hair I find, probably quite a thick head of it or maybe even a rather lovely curly to it. It goes without saying that he is probably a fabulous dresser too. He was driving a Mercedes so I am putting him in to the funny, charming and the life of the party type of fun rather than the whacky, silly voice office buffoon type of fun.
I bet you a fiver he had a really nice watch too. And that he was a great lover, and kind to animals and would probably clear your drive of snow and salt it from that store of salt he keeps just in case. In fact I bet he did all the neighbours drives. Before they got up.
And oh what fun he is. No party is the same without him, he lights up a room with his very presense and when it comes to charitable giving he…
Ok I think I have perhaps gone too far. I just accidentally wrote more than five hundred words about a man I have never met and my wife will probably read this …
Love you wife x