Fiddlesticks – March Prompts 21/31

Oh how very horrid.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what whimsical nonsense I can whip up in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


He dances round the subject

of just where he was last night

there is lipstick on his collar

and she hopes that he just might

this time tell her something honest

and perhaps he’ll see the light

but he says was with his mates so she replies

….

Fiddle sticks balderdash and a dose of nincompoop

Piles of twaddle loads of tosh and a massive load of bollocks

So much gubbins endless waffle and a steaming pile of nonsense

Pointless drivel stupid dribble and a total crock of shite

Ruby Red – March Prompts 20/31

Oh how very horrid.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what whimsical nonsense I can whip up in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Ruby red she swirls and spins

And craves a life he cannot give

And laughter peaks and frantic dips

Entranced by eyes and heart and hips

 

Each day and night he toils and strains

To please her hunger as it grows

Voraciaous she devours it all

And never sated death does call

 

Worth more in the ground than with beating heart

with greed consumed she seeks to feast

And so she schemes and plots and plans

His life to take with blood soiled hands

 

And with widows sorrow she does weep

as slowly lowered into the ground

and ruby red heart swirls and leaps

all that was his now hers to keep

Antsy Pantsy – March Prompts 19/31

Oh how very horrid.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what whimsical nonsense I can whip up in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


They crawled up his leg and then into his bottom

And there they did live in his innards quite rotten

For long was he dead in a battle forgotten

And now he’d returned for revenge

 

With such ants in his pants and a six rats in his bowels

He would walk through the night and quite hungry he howls

And a brain full of worms in control of his vowels

He would mumble for b-b–b-brains

 

He would seek little kids quite delicious and plump

With an eye full of spiders and a rather bug lump

On his face from the wasps than would sure make you jump

When they flew from his mouth like a storm

 

And his fingers quite rotten and tongue chewed away

Beetles covered his flesh and he strode night and day

To find children to eat who’d  perhaps lost their way

and to hell drag their sweet little souls

Pink Poodles – March Prompts 18/31

Oh surely not…

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Old Artemis Bilge fine purveyor of poodles

Loved them so much that he ate them with noodles

With fresh veg and soy sauce he scoffed oodles and oodles

and for pudding fresh strawberries and cream

He would slow roast a leg and eat it as a starter

With pickles and fennel and mustard or tartar

And sometimes on a sandwich with cheese and tomato

Licked his fingers, such tastes quite supreme

Late at night to his fridge he would head tummy rumbling

And with platters of neck, thigh and flank he’d head stumbling

Back to bed where he’d gorge ‘till his tummy stopped grumbling

Then to sleep and of poodles to dream

Mounds of Mush – March Prompts 17/31

Hopefully just 4 rather gross lines…

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Seething writhing piles of rancid filth

Maggots thrash hungrily and gorge on rotting flesh

Where once there was life now putrification reigns

And death’s foul breath belches and cackles

Guzzling Gary – March Prompts 16/31

My what a big appetite you have.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Guzzling Gary likes pies

And hes rather fond of meat

Oh he really loves chips

And thinks snake meat quite a treat

He will eat a bag of raddish

And he’ll quaff a pint of soup

See him down a foot of sausage

Eat spaghetti, straight or loop

He will neck a quart of ice cream

Followed by a glass of sherry

And eat burgers by the fistful

Followed by a pound of cherry

Then it’s onto quail and liver

Lightly braised and served with veg

And some monkey and a lizard

And a squirrel from a hedge

Then perhaps a baby llama

And a bisque made from some cats

And a stew made from some puppies

Or some dumplings stuffed with bats

Oh and see him eat a whale steak

And a platypus on rye

Lick the juices from a goldfish

And bake hamsters in a pie

And then turtle stuffed with budgies

then some parrots braised with figs

but for daft religious reason

theres no bacon, its from pigs

Stitches of Glitches – March Prompts 15/31

A quickie indeed.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Crackle of interference

Space and time ripped asunder

And the night lights up lightning and thunder

 

Wormholes spin and fill the sky

And mothers scream and children run

Nowhere to go our time is done

 

And through swarm hordes of creatures dark

And feast on flesh and gnaw on bone

Like locusts into every home

 

Through glitch in time and space they’re drawn

They can’t be stopped they know no rest

‘till all’s devoured galaxies pest

 

Sun blotted out fields turned to red

And mankind wiped out in a blink

Like water swirling down the sink

Bootles Beetles – March Prompts 14/31

A witches curse…

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Bootles beetles grubs and grime

Pinch of madness dash of time

What once was yours shall soon be mine

and you shall be distraught

 

A splash of envy, fist of hate

A ruptured spleen and twist of fate

Never on time and always late

In her web are you caught

 

And to her will you’ll surely bend

No stitch in time your soul to mend

And sadness is your only friend

So heed the lesson taught

 

Or you will find as time goes by

All will be lost in blink of eye

Your days to waste and lonely die

A life that’s lived for naught

Pouty and Plump – March Prompts 12/31

The poor lass.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


Once a fellow met twins

who embodied most sins

and he nicknamed them Pouty and Plump

One had full vacuum lips

and the other round hips

and they’d once spent a night with Don Trump

 

That’s about as far as I got in ten minutes.  I toyed with all sorts of ideas and all I could manage was that and whilst it probably hasn’t gone too far yet it probably would have.  Sometimes when I write the first idea I have is what makes it to the page and that idea can dominate to such an extent that no other will shift it and that was the case with this one.

The thing is, I made a conscious effort to remove the twat that is Donald from my writing a month or two ago now and apart from perhaps one or two slips have found myself in a much happier place because of it.  I removed him from my twitter as best I could and made a real effort to simply not consider anything to do with him.

I am sure there are many arguments for and against my approach and I am sure they are all pretty compelling but for me, right now, I like ignorance.  It is bliss after all.

 

 

 

 

Jelly Jars – March Prompts 12/31

Of all the things you hold most dear.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


There is a man with jelly jars

Keeps babies teeth and fallen stars

And virgins tears and la-de-das

And fathers best cigars

 

Into your home he sneaks at night

And steals the things you hold so tight

And harvests thought both dark and light

And steals them without fight

 

And when you wake it feels amiss

You cant remember your first kiss

You thought you had more cash than this

and fear replaces bliss

 

and so he steals your dreams and plans

and time and love holds in his hands

lets slip away like grains of sands

and returns to distant lands

Billowy Breezes – March Prompts 11/31

Truly scraping the bottom of the barrel here…I should be ashamed.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


There was once was a fellow called billowy breezes

His real name was  Bob and he shits when he sneezes

So great is the force that it buckles his kneeses

And bent over he tends to explode

 

“Can’t be helped” he insists when he’s asked on the matter

One time at a wedding the bride he did splatter

Caked a kitty in turds left her fur quite in tatters

When one day he was crossing the road

 

If he’s sniffly at work folk will run and take cover

He once exploded so hard the filth knocked a man over

Hes quite famous, once painted the white cliffs of dover

After eating some chillis he’d growed

 

So watch out if you see him take care and beware

It not really his fault and yes people will stare

You should not walk behind him on the way up the stair

Just in case he happens to unload

 

Powder Blue – March Prompts 10/31

The poor lass.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


 

In powder blue a true delight

Her belly full her clothes quite tight

He knocked her up hes doing right

And marrying it seems

 

She loves him so, he thinks he might

Just love her back but late last night

He met this girl oh quite a sight

she quite fulfilled his dreams

 

well dreams may be a wee bit trite

they fondled in the pale moonlight

and to her place they headed right

and devious thoughts he schemes

 

And home at crack of new day light

inside he tries to tread so light

but she’s aware and now his plight

is far worse that it seems

 

He tries to lie but gets a fright

As on his neck she left a bite

no longer he her shining knight

Tears replace loves beams

The number of the beast

Post 666

This is my 666th post.

It should be something creepy or evil shouldn’t it.  What actually sprung to mind though  was growing up in conservative white South Africa in the eighties and there being a general hysteria about the number.

From those ridiculous eighties Pentecostal preachers howling and wailing about the number of the beast to searching Iron Maiden album covers for secret 666 markings  it was a number that was just often there in popular culture.

Kids would joke about it,  bushy bearded racist Afrikaner pastors would warn against it and eighties horror films featured it heavily.  If you’ve seen the omen you will surely recall the head shaving bit where the numbers are revealed.

In school I recall sitting through lessons where we were made quite aware of the dangers of all things modern and particularly anything relating to Iron Maiden and quite specifically ‘Stairway to Heaven’ by Led Zepplin which, if our teacher was to be believed,  would inevitably lead you to all manner of beastly activities including masturbation, smoking marijuana and fornication.

Makes me realise that we really have not come that far as a species when we pay such heed to superstitious nonsense though ‘Stairway’ does remain one of my favourite tracks to this day.

Happy Friday 🙂

 

A tisket for a tasket – March Prompts 9/31

Imagine it being sung as a nursery rhyme by a creepy little child as it plays with a broken doll.

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


 

A tisket for a tasket throw your mother in a basket

Put the basket in the fire watch the flames as they grow high

 

A tisket for a tasket put the baby in the basket

Watch the baby sail away and then rule the land one day

 

A tisket for a tasket push the boat man in a basket

Put the basket in the river watch him drown and watch him shiver

 

A tisket for a tasket put the lover in a basket

Pop the basket in the pot serve the lover piping hot

 

A tisket for a tasket shove the father in the basket

Hang the basket from the tree watch him jig and dance with glee

 

A tisket for a tasket lay yourself down in the casket

Put the casket in the ground there you can’t make any sound.

 

Punch Drunk – March Prompts 8/31

Wincing, eyes blinking, afraid and never thinking

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


 

Wincing, eyes blinking

Afraid and never thinking

Using, abusing

just cover up the bruising

aching, shaking

giving never taking

violent, silent

need to be compliant

pretending, never ending

in time the flesh is mending

beneath covers, lost lovers

from this he won’t recover

Silly Assumptions – March Prompts 7/31

“Oh take care to assume
or to careless presume
that the world will still be there tomorrow…”

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


 

 

Oh take care to assume

or to careless presume

that the world will still be there tomorrow

for it could all just end

so wise up don’t pretend

as it could all just end in real sorrow

 

We could spin into the sun

Then we’d all be well done

And sun screen wont do no good at all

We could suffer a blast

From a meteor fast

Which would melt us in its fireball

 

Or a virus that turns

you to mush as it burns

your insides and they drip from your pores

Or a zombie infection

And your without protection

And your wife eats your brain while you snore

 

Perhaps creatures from space

Who would eat off your face

And lay eggs in your gut a foot long

And you’d burst at the seems

As young creatures burst free

And they feed on your corpse and grow strong

 

So take heed and beware

Live each day and take care

As today could well just be your last

You could die in your chair

No one find you and there

You’d be found, face chewed off by your cats

Hobbity Bobbity – March Prompts 6/31

“Samwise Gamgee squealed with delight his buttocks clenched quite tight…”

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


 

There was going to be a poem in response to the daily prompt and it was going to start like this:

“She was hobbit bobbity the queen of blow jobbity”

I then thought better.  Not that it would not have been funny – to me at least – it would have, it is just that I don’t really want to besmirch the idea of the Hobbits with the idea of them overly sexual.  Obviously they have hobbit loving but I hold them very dear and as a huge Tolkein fan would prefer to not imagine Pippin and Merry naked, eyes closed enjoying the oral pleasures of the afore mentioned blow jobbity.

You should thank me really because I am doing my very best not to ruin The Lord of the Rings for you by using sentences such as:

“Samwise squealed with delight his buttocks clenched quite tight…”

I realise that would be upsetting for some, and rightly so. No one wants to have to consider the fact that Frodo and dildo kind of rhyme, and god forbid they end up in a sentence such as “Loins on fire Mr Frodo, brandishing knobbly dildo, did approach…”  That would just ruin your Sunday and I just would not want to do that .

So no need to thanks me, let’s just all breathe a collective sigh of relief that this is most definitely not a gratuitously filthy piece about Gandalf’s staff…

Creaky Cranks – March Prompts 5/31

Not really sure what its about, I only had ten minutes…

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


The cranks that creak they get the oil

creation running smooth

The cogs that whir the chimneys belch

The pistons thrust, wheels move

 

Red lights burn bright, see furnace blaze

Hear click and clank and whir

It trundles slowly through the night

Black smoke it fills the air

 

Atop he rides his dour machine

Colleting souls for fuel

Wheels turn, cranks pull and push and thrust

Boned finger pointed, cruel

 

With oil that’s squeezed from those he finds

He greases, handles turned

His cogs and pulleys, back and forth

Remains discarded, burned

 

To fuel his creature, through the dark

In search of those who stray

From light to dark and pledge themselves

Until the end of days

Fidgety Fiona – March Prompts 4/31

Ooh you better stay away from that Fiona…

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


 

Fidgety Fiona

Was a groaner

And a moaner

And the sort of girl your mother wouldn’t like

 

She would tease

And she would please

And she would have you on your knees

And then maybe she would ride you like a bike

 

She was never sated

Though many men she dated

While some others sat and waited

Hoping maybe soon it might just be their turn

 

But soon it went awry

And Fiona she did die

And the men all wondered why

And soon they were a ghastly truth to learn

 

For it seems Fiona sweet

The dark darling of the street

In the air often her feet

On the corner her wares eagerly parades

 

And the men she satisfied

Very soon withered and died

And their wives gnashed teeth and cried

For Fiona gave them syphilis and aids

 

Purple Nurples – March Prompts 3/31

He comes bearing gifts from the new world…

M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:

“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below.  Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”

Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…

You can see the prompts here.


He’s the king of the seas, he explores for the queen

And her court they await his delights

He amazes and thrills and his deeds pay the bills

And he looks so damned good in those tights

 

With a flourish and swirl he appears to the court

Women love him and men think he’s great

Walter Reighleigh’s no match for his most recent catch

And the Queen and her court congregate

 

Says Victoria “Do tell, your gift would do most well

To compare to My Walters potato

For it brings me delight so must yours here tonight

else they’ll lop off your head at my say so”

 

So he reached for his bag and the court fell quite still

It was velvet and plush and quite purple

And he reached deep inside and with face filled with pride

He pulled out a quite fab pair of nurple

 

The court gasped quite amazed and the clapped and they raved

Such a sight they had not before seen

He approached to the throne with the pair quite full grown

And presented his gifts to the queen

 

With their bright bush tails and their thick purple scales

And long legs and short arms and pink hair

And their bellies quite round and their low gurgling sound

It was surely a breath taking pair.

 

“Oh how quite wondrous” she said making a fuss

And she held them, and seemed most excited

Walt’s potatoes forgot, and right there on the spot

To his knees and was by the Queen knighted

Z is for Zombie

Is it weird to admit that I have something of a plan in mind should there be a zombie apocalypse?

I will admit that for a long time I have been of the mind that the world would certainly benefit from a zombie outbreak outbreak.  Maybe it isn’t a full on extinction event but just something to focus people a little and perhaps thin the population.  In the past we had wars that would do that but these days war has turned into an almost corporate event and just doesn’t do the job it once did.  There was a time when you could also rely on pestilence but again, we seem to mostly have that under control at the moment and as a result (whether directly or not I am yet to decide) It now takes me at least 20 minutes to get to work.  There are so many vehicles on the road these days driving in the wrong lane or just generally being annoying that I am pretty sure that with an even low level event that could well be cut to 15 with the resulting thinning of the population.

If there was to be an outbreak I feel pretty good about my chances, and whilst I am not one for squirrelling away supplies or constructing a bolthole in the garden, I do have a plan that I have been putting together over the years.  I know where I would get supplies, and I am confident that I could secure the house and surrounding area to keep anything but the most determined brain hungry creature at bay.  I have a destination out of town that I know for certain would be a pretty great place to ride out the apocalypse and should I for any reason not be able to get out of the street I know which of the neighbours I need to deal with and in what order to ensure that precious resources aren’t wasted.

And just to be clear, the bloke at number 6 who insists on parking badly…top of my list in case we run particularly low on food.

Anyway,there is more but I am not giving it away.  Make your own plan!

Happy Monday

 

Inexpressible Notions – In the Dark 7

Sometimes the words are just lost in the noise.

Another month of M’s writing prompts lies ahead.  I did them all in December but was less successful in January.  Let’s see how we do in February shall we.

You can see the prompts here.


It’s been an odd week this week.  I have barely been able to get to my blog as life seemed to get in the way.  I found my days filled, from morning until night, and most nights I found myself looking longingly at my blog but losing the battle and having to sleep instead.  In the past I would have beat myself up about it but this time I simply succumbed and let life do it’s thing.   It did not look like a fight I was going to win so I chose to not have the fight.

Things feel a little more under control now though and I have managed to post a couple of pieces but it’s the piece below I have found myself struggling with.  I started it and flew through those lines, quite excited by the idea and really keen to get it written out.  Five days later however and the energy I felt at the time and the ideas that were forming have disappeared.  I had made a few notes but I am thinking that the moment has passed and it will be a piece I may never finish.  I have only ever had one other piece like that and again, it was a piece that I let lie dormant for a few days and the flames turned to embers and were eventually extinguished.

I’m okay with that though, I have learned something about my own creative process and will hopefully not make the same mistake again.  I guess the title of this works in many ways…


INEXPRESSIBLE NOTIONS

In the everyday back and forth of life Johnathan Cholmley-Ambers was a man who simply went with the flow.  He was as forthright as he was opinionated, which was not at all, and in most situations could largely be relied upon to cause neither a fuss, a drama nor a kerfuffle.  His friends, of which he had exactly none, would likely have described his as wet if they existed and those who would count themselves as colleagues would often forget his name so forgettable was he.

It therefore came as a surprise to him, as much as those who knew him, when one morning he awoke and quite simply decided that today he would speak his mind.  He did not know why today of all days he had made this decision but a decision it was and he took to it with much aplomb.  It was also somewhat of a revelation that he held such strong opinions, because he was pretty certain that he had not historically felt so passionately about anything at all.

He awoke, showered and dressed and very briefly considered having breakfast but then decided that the marmalade on toast could go screw itself and instead opted to head out to work with an empty belly and a skip in his step.

His poor neighbour, Mrs Laud, a full bosomed kindly old lady who sported a purple rinse and a love of cats stood aghast as he greeted her with a “Shove your good morning up your bottom” as she was bringing in the milk.  She was still stood there quite speechless as Jonathan’s  front gate snapped closed and he headed for the bus.

 

 

People I enjoy – Fandango

 

Today I’d like to you to Fandango.  He probably has a real name like Brian or Carl but Fandango is far more exciting.    Never short of a flash fiction piece or a thought on the world he always has something to say and loves doing what he does.  Well worth a read if you like that sort of thing.

Check him out here

 

Room to swing a cat

Not that I would. But if I had to.

People are forever musing on here aren’t they. You can’t swing a cat without encountering musings of one description of another.

Not that I would advocate swinging cats.  I would not.  I don’t even know where that saying comes from.  Perhaps it was an old way of measuring things?   Now again I repeat that I would not but if I were to swing an animal then it would probably be something a little more manageable like a tortoise or a guinea pig.  Cats are notoriously averse to being swung and have far too many sharp and pointy bits to be buggering around with trying to work out how wide your living room is to see if your new sofa will fit.

If I absolutely had to know whether the new 3 piece would squeeze through the door then I would punt for a measuring tortoise.  They are a bit short of  purchase points though so it’s probably wise to put it in some sort of cloth sack to swing it thereby reducing the chance of losing one’s grip and sending the measuring tortoise soaring through a window.  Last thing you want is glass all over and having to use something a little smaller to then measure the window so you can order new glass.  If you were in need of measuring a window though, and again this is just hypothetical, then I reckon a squirrel would do the job.  Red though not grey, the grey ones are a a bit feisty.  If you cant get your hands on a squirrel then maybe try a hamster.  A red squirrel is generally equal to 2 hamsters.

Just for reference the Tortoise in the picture above is equal to 7 red squirrels, so 14 hamsters.  Or is that a turtle?  Doesn’t matter they are pretty much interchangeable.

Oh and for those living in hot countries, do not use a lizard because we all know their tails fall off and the sight of the orphaned tail wriggling about will likely upset the kids.  Unless of course you can get your hands on a chameleon they work really well as they move pretty slowly though can be a bugger to find once you’ve put them down.  A friend of mine who lays carpets swears by chameleons but goes through two or three a month.

Not that I would though.  What a ridiculous and rather cruel idea.

Besides, everybody knows the old fashioned way of measuring things was by swinging small soot faced children, recently emerged from cleaning chimneys or making smocks and bed caps.

 

Y is for You, yes YOU

What makes me follow…

I’ve been doing this for a while now and I am often conflicted with how best to use my time as I want to read as many people as possible on here but the truth of the matter is that simply is not possible.  This is not intended as an excuse, but rather an acknowledgement and from that stems the question – how will I decide who to follow and read.

Turns out, for me, it’s about the author and not necessarily the work.   Connections with authors seems to matter as much to me as their work, and if that person allows you into their world in a way that is more than just the words for that day then I find myself wanting to return to find out more about them.  The most compelling blogs I have followed are also quite often those where the author takes time to build the relationship with their reader.  They post and reply to comments in a meaningful way, they show an interest in your opinion and they seem genuinely interested in engaging rather than simply throwing a work out there and waiting for the likes.

Now that’s not always the case, and obviously an interest in the work of the person helps and if that interest extends to enjoyment all the better.  I enjoy the odd bit of poetry, and have re-blogged some and will be re-blogging more of my favourites in coming weeks.  Recently though I stumbled upon this chap who I not only enjoyed immensely but also followed because his poetry was so damned good.  The rhyming and metre and flow was just some so ridiculously enjoyable I felt compelled to.

Anyway, not sure where that came from because I was going to write about Yoga and people who do yoga and yoga pants but that will have to wait for another day.