M’s writing prompts for March came with the following instructions:
“…set your timer for ten minutes and begin writing about one of the prompts listed below. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, neatness, or anything like that; just write!”
Let us see what I can do in ten minutes…
There was going to be a poem in response to the daily prompt and it was going to start like this:
“She was hobbit bobbity the queen of blow jobbity”
I then thought better. Not that it would not have been funny – to me at least – it would have, it is just that I don’t really want to besmirch the idea of the Hobbits with the idea of them overly sexual. Obviously they have hobbit loving but I hold them very dear and as a huge Tolkein fan would prefer to not imagine Pippin and Merry naked, eyes closed enjoying the oral pleasures of the afore mentioned blow jobbity.
You should thank me really because I am doing my very best not to ruin The Lord of the Rings for you by using sentences such as:
“Samwise squealed with delight his buttocks clenched quite tight…”
I realise that would be upsetting for some, and rightly so. No one wants to have to consider the fact that Frodo and dildo kind of rhyme, and god forbid they end up in a sentence such as “Loins on fire Mr Frodo, brandishing knobbly dildo, did approach…” That would just ruin your Sunday and I just would not want to do that .
So no need to thanks me, let’s just all breathe a collective sigh of relief that this is most definitely not a gratuitously filthy piece about Gandalf’s staff…