On a health kick this bloke from Mauritius
drank his own sperm, claimed it was nutritious
and so good for his skin
and it kept him quite thin
milked himself three times daily, delicious
Mmmm delish!
On a health kick this bloke from Mauritius
drank his own sperm, claimed it was nutritious
and so good for his skin
and it kept him quite thin
milked himself three times daily, delicious
Christmas 1978.
I have no idea where and when I got this but it is the 2000Ad annual from 1978, the year after 2000ad started. It is a pretty hefty offering and features no less than 21 different stories or features. Generous indeed! It still looks great for something nearly 40 years old!
Hey it’s nearly the weekend!
There’s this fellow who get’s most excited
in his trousers, his loins quite ignited
by the arches and heels
at the sight how he squeals
runs his tongue ‘twixt the toes quite delighted
A thing for Friday
This is in response to M’s fabulous prompts which you can see here. These used to be 101 words. Sometimes they still are. Sometimes not. They are often snippets, occasionally unfinished and sometimes simply the beginnings of something for another time. Mostly though they are just whatever the words inspire. This one goes with this one I did yesterday as I felt they went well together…
Stan’s eyes felt heavy, as if pinned down by the weight of the darkness that surrounded him, his head filled with a static that made it hard to think. Hard to remember. He could hear a beep, beep, beep as he lay whilst his mind scrambled to piece the shards of remembrances together.
With an effort that took everything he had, he strained against the confusion and managed to pry them open, only to be met by vague and confusing out of focus images. Wincing he closed them again and succumbed to the comfort of the embracing blackness.
“Where…?” He asked himself, “where is this?” His mouth dry as he struggled to find the right words as a mix of sounds and smells washed over him like the lapping of distant waves.
And then he heard her, feint above the beep, beep, beep, somehow familiar and comforting, and he knew she mattered more than anything, but in a moment as he reached out she was gone, slopping through his fingers like fog.
He opened his mouth to scream, to call her name, but there was nothing there, only a suffocating silence and each breath felt like a fire trapped inside his chest. Fists clenched he tried to move, to reach out, to grab hold of her and to tell her to wait but she melted into the inky shadows of his mind as the beep, beep, beep slowed.
Beep
Beep
Beep…
Here you go.
Romance rekindled
they think that they still have it
time’s taken it’s toll

Yes you. You know what you did.
Once a lass from the south of the Andes
got aroused on a couple of shandies
when on wine, lust devine
glass of port, 69
and my god what she’d do when on brandy’s
Another thing about stuff and people and more stuff
This is in response to M’s fabulous prompts which you can see here. These used to be 101 words. Sometimes they still are. Sometimes not. They are often snippets, occasionally unfinished and sometimes simply the beginnings of something for another time. Mostly though they are just whatever the words inspire. This one goes with this one I did yesterday as I felt they went well together…
Whenever the rain fell he thought of her, of the time they had spent in Paris together and how they had loved without any thought for the repercussions. To fall so hard and so deep and so very, very quickly was intoxicating and she was a tempest like no one he had ever known .
He remembered the way she looked as she slept, the morning sun golden on her soft pale skin as she lay naked on the bed. He could still feel her against him when he closed his eyes, the way she smelled and moved.
She made him feel complete and like nothing else mattered, only whatever it was that they were when they were together, which was always.
Watching the rain pool and swirl about his feet he pulled the collar of his coat around his ears and tried to forget the times when the bed was empty, when the clock ticked by as he sat alone and wondered where she was. She had so many friends, it was understandable because she was pure joy to be around and you could not but help to want to spend time with her.
The rain, cold on his cheeks, mingled with tears as cars drove by splashing onwards through the night and off into the distance. Standing on the bridge looking out over the Seine feint church bells called out and he saw her face again, filled with the pain and sadness that his jealousy had caused and he recalled with a knot in his stomach how she had begged him to trust her.
Most of all though he remembered the silence that followed her screams…
Fancy one of these?
a slip of the tongue
as they slip between the sheets
flaccid and forlorn

I so need boundaries if only so I have something to cross
Seems that it is a bit of a free for all this week and I can use whatever words I want. How curious. the limitations are usually rather liberating in an odd sort of way and complete freedom just makes me want to be even more stupid than usual.
I decided to open the nearest book and use the first word on page 58 and the last on page 101. the book was Cosmic Traitor (Perry Rhodan 26) by Kurt Brand. The words are THOUGHTS and MILKY. They made me think of an Astronaut…
Once more to the stars
mind strays to places unknown
thoughts of escaping
the shackles of gravity
and his quite annoying wife
Sweet sweet middle of the week
Once a vet who her work loved intensely
got quite heated, loved gerbils immensely
hamsters so made her sweat
guinea pigs made her wet
and with rabbits gets quite over friendly
No, too early for that !
Plump stockings filled up
with Cristmas Innuendo
It’s still November

Another thing about stuff and people and more stuff
This is in response to M’s fabulous prompts which you can see here. These used to be 101 words. Sometimes they still are, like this one. Sometimes not. They are often snippets, occasionally unfinished and sometimes simply the beginnings of something for another time. Mostly though they are just whatever the words inspire. This one goes with this one I did yesterday as I felt they went well together…
The sea of smiling faces turned as the doors opened slowly, the first strains of the organ playing.
She was a vision in white but all he could feel was rage. Rage at the thing inside her, the thing that bound him to her. Rage at how they valued nothing but money, and who saw him as merely another thing to be possessed.
She smiled at her sister as she approached, another vacuous thing living only to please daddy. “I should bend her over” he thought to himself smiling.
The music stopped as she took his hand.
“You look beautiful darling.”
You look beautiful
18th January 1986
When I was going through some of my older copies this one really stood out as I actually remember reading it when it came out in 1986. I even cut the back page off, the Slaine Glen Fabry poster, and stuck it on my bedroom wall. I would have been 14 at the time and at a stage when I was desperate for anything 2000ad related.
It has some wonderful stories, a real collection of classics for sure. You get Dredd, Halo Jones, Ace Trucking, Strontium Dog and Slaine. Damn!





Have a good one people!
Much beer consumed
the bromance intensifies
and boundaries blur

Never been a big fan of Tuesday I’ll be honest.
A posh fellow, high class and good breeding
Found himself with dark thoughts and much needing
Gets his kicks, such a treat
watching fat ladies eat
Get’s him really quite hot when he’s feeding
Another thing about stuff and people and more stuff
This is in response to M’s fabulous prompts which you can see here. These used to be 101 words. Sometimes they still are, like this one. Sometimes not. They are often snippets, occasionally unfinished and sometimes simply the beginnings of something for another time. Mostly though they are just whatever the words inspire. This one goes with another to be published tomorrow as I felt they went well together…
As the doors opened she saw him standing there, waiting, smiling. So very obedient and willing, like a little dog. He was far from perfect but he would do for now.
She instinctively touched her stomach and breathed deep. “God it better be a boy” she thought to herself. That would shut her sister up for sure, her and her watery bollocked husband. They’d only given him girls and they both knew how much the old man wanted a grand son.
“Ready pumpkin?” he asked, the music playing. “He’s waiting.”
She squeezed his hand and smiled.
“Thank you daddy, for everything”
But god no thanks ain’t doing that…
dating going well
she breaks the fart barrier
Arse like satan’s breath

Nothing weird or dirty. Hmm actually it’s pretty rubbish because of that.
Once a fellow who so dreaded Monday
as twas nowhere as much fun as Sunday
against Friday it pailed
next to Saturday failed
even Tuesday was way better fun day.
Hmm that is pants so here’s another.
Once a cardinal, proud of his choir
found the lads set his loins quite on fire
he could just not resist
when his large ring they kissed
how his mind swam with sinful desire
Something from a sci fi special…
I have absolutely no idea who did this all I know is that it is from a Sci Fi summer special and alas I don’t have many of those to trawl through to try and find out but I do rather love the simplicity and the characters. It always reminded me of the ‘Ant Hill Mob’ in whacky races, you know the ones they were the gangsters that drove around in the ‘Roaring Plenty’.
I don’t even know where I got it from you know, maybe it was Ebay or maybe from a Con somewhere. Either way I rather like it especially because it has the lettering on the acetate overlay.






Another thing about stuff and people and more stuff
This is in response to M’s fabulous prompts which you can see here. These used to be 101 words. Sometimes they still are. Sometimes not. They are often snippets, occasionally unfinished and sometimes simply the beginnings of something for another time. Mostly though they are just whatever the words inspire
“There is no chance, none at all” the Great and Mighty insisted as he willed a rather magnificent nebula into existence. “I know them well and there is more to them than you give them credit for.”
The All Knowing smiled and warmed himself on the majesty of a billion suns before replying, the twinkle of a dying red dwarf in his eyes.
“I think we both know that it is because they are capable of so much that it is likely to come to pass.”
The Great and Mighty made a noise like an imploding sun and added his signature helium spiral to the nebula.
“Looks good” the All Knowing said stepping back to appreciate it for a nanosecond. “All I am saying mate is that you keep trying and you always end up disappointed. That is our lot my friend, I do not mean to be cruel but it will be that way for an eternity of eternities.”
“He’s right you know” said Eternity nodding as she admired the Great and Mighty’s nebula. “About them and your lot. I do admire your persistence though, you are quite the optimist G. Oh and the ionized gas clouds they are quite lovely by the way. Great job.”
The Great and Mighty scratched himself and quite grumpily screwed the nebula into a ball and defiantly shoved it deep inside a black hole.
“Oh G, come on that’s a bit of a waste it was rather pretty” Eternity insisted. “Don’t be such a baby.”
The Great and Mighty folded his arms in defiance and turned his back on her.
“Mate, no need to be such a drama queen about it” the All Knowing said reaching into the blackhole and putting the nebula back in place the best he could. Admittedly he was more a fan of stars but didn’t mind trying his hand at new things if the chance arose.
“He can only be in charge for 8 years at the most anyway…”
Just because you like them.
There once was a vicar from Chester
who would wear a long yellow sowester
not much else underneath
save perhaps a small brief
made it easier when out to molest ya
I like to just keep my hand in now and again…
My most black sorrow
Like pitch it sticks to my insides
Lungs fill with it’s acrid darkness and I choke
Spitting and cursing your name as it cooks me from within
And so serves me up on a platter of regret and guilt
As the crows feast on my eyes, devouring my soft pink tongue
And the rats feast and rutt in my rancid entrails
Whoah….that’s all a bit much isn’t it.
Sometimes I like to see if I can write like other people and come up with some twisted dark shit but mostly I prefer stick figures being filthy. Guess it takes all sorts right…

You know this might be my first attempt at a political cartoon though to be honest I think the symbolism is far too obvious. Plus my eagle looks like a big chicken and I was a bit wary of actually drawing pictures of men having sex with gigantic birds then I thought the kids might see it and…well..so mostly the whole thing just gets a bit weird but hey, perhaps there is still a cause to be fought for out there. Some sort of anti American chicken fuckers alliance. Hmm.
Perhaps I should just go to bed.
A tale of fear and things that go bump bump bump in the night
Colleen’s Tanka Tuesday
This week the challenge was to use synonyms for AFRAID and GRAVE. I used SCARED and SERIOUS. Sorry Colleen…
Erectile issues
manhood diminished. Scared and
grave, consumes Blue pills
Now can’t sleep on his stomach
Wife hangs her towels on it
Already had one? Go on try another 😉
Once a colonel who really loved chicken
went too far, well beyond finger lickin’
Their pale flesh he’d caress
juicy things, plump firm breasts
and you know what inside he was sticking
But god no thanks ain’t doing that…
imagination
unleashed rampant and savage
in his head at least
