Things I would not place inside myself – A poem

it’s somethign I guess…well actually not really…meh…

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It seems that there are those that will, and I think it’s a farce,

but people (per the internet) do hide things in their arse.

I’m told (though not seen it myself for I share my PC

with kids) so cant research it but if I did I would see

 

Ripe marrows place in darkest holes, and veges by the barrow

inserted, lubed and with great force, pushed into bottoms narrow.

Digits, midgets, varied widgets placed where sun shines not

a friend of mine vanished a vase when on it she did squat.

 

This bloke from Scotland, cavernous, spread wide, bent to receive

the contents of Old Nick’s full sack when drunk on Christmas eve.

And I did read a tale of woe of one lad who took pleasure

dressed as a pirate placed gold coins inside like hidden treasure.

 

A story told of one young chap one night when feeling fruity

filed down a tooth bruch, electric type, to place inside his booty.

But not outdone a lass invited several chaps to sample

her gaping hole but it turned out that just the two were ample…

 

Things stuck inside, spread open wide, or isides falling out

each to their own, and when at home, I really have no doubt

that there are those who cant recall, have lost things, or forgotten

I might suggest they might just be lodged inside your bottom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author: Michael

Husband, dad,programmer, comic collector and proud Yorkshireman. I have no idea why im here or why im writing but i rather enjoy it. no great fan of punctuation;

4 thoughts on “Things I would not place inside myself – A poem”

  1. Hmm, never thought to look up there for my old t.v. remote.

    Ran into a friend the other day who’s an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) and he showed me an x-ray of this poor fellow who had quite a large dildo stuck up his ass. I was impressed he was able to accommodate such a large object. You always hear those stories, but this was the first time I saw the proof.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That would explain why the channels change every time my missus gets excited! Im with you in admiring not only the chaps capacity but also his persistence. Bravo I say.

    Like

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