just a few bits and pieces
A chap with a taste for wild nights
bought a hooker in basque and black tights
unprotected he played
wife found out that he’d strayed
came home scratched and all covered in bites
Young lovers but still in their teens
hormones on fire and tight jeans
got knocked up by mistake
what a big one to make
Oh well, so much for all of your dreams
A POTUS hailed “Son of a bitch”
as the players stood firm on the pitch
don’t you dare take a knee
it’s offensive to me
and my white privileged buddies, all rich
Such a non event that it doesn’t even get a picture.
There I was about to write a post on the subject of “Even more tales of alien probing” when I realised that this was going to be my 200th post. 95 days have passed since I published Armitage and wow has it flown.
My first instincts were that this should be something special, perhaps reflecting on my experience but I have done that a few times already and can’t be bothered to do it again. I considered writing about all the fabulous folk who’s work I have liked or the WordPress community I feel a part of but decided against that also.
I think I would prefer to simply pass the event by, as I do my birthdays as I get older, and not put any expectation on myself. I write much better when I am simply making up nonsense and waffling on with abandon.
Maybe when I hit 500 posts I might do something special but for now, nothing to read here, a total non event on every level.
Move along…
Michael
p.s. Okay, maybe just a limerick because you’ve taken time to give it a read.
A woman from work, Laura Nook
turned to whoring to make a quick buck
On her back making cash
till she got quite a rash
and then syphillis and aids, what bad luck
Another day another limerick.
This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.
I seem to hate Trump, ghastly man
And I write of his deeds when i can
I should really relax
but he seems to hate blacks
and the poor and the sick and Islam
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
I set myself a challenge this week…
Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.
Orange faced oaf of much note
looks to hide how he’s stolen your vote
picking fights, talking shite
big applause from the right
“Crooked Hilary lost” hear him gloat.
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
I set myself a challenge this week…
Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.
A house wife from Bradford called Jess
Caught her hub one day wearing a dress
How it made her eyes pop
So he’s having the op
Now her Trevor’s becoming a Tess
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
I set myself a challenge this week…
Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.
There once was a kid, quite forlorn
Found a stash of his fathers best porn
Now he’s happy and glad
but his father’s quite mad
Cos the pages are sticky and torn
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
I set myself a challenge this week…
Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.
There once was a chap from Japan
loved a lady but also a man
got the best of both worlds
when he found this Thai girl
called Petunia, but used to be Stan
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
I set myself a challenge this week…
Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
This week…The lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.
A suicide bomber names Bert
So frustrated, his testicles hurt
Blew himself into three
For the virgins you see
He was promised – tall, short, round and pert
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
I set myself a challenge this week…
Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
This week…The lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.
Celibate, destined to be
Betrothed and in marriage set free
But it came to an end
When he banged her best friend
And said “join us babe, let’s make it three”
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
I set myself a challenge this week…
Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
On being someone’s prison wife…
A posh boy addicted to coke
Stole a car and ran over a bloke
When the cops found him out
“My dads rich” he did shout
pretty mouth like his, jail is no joke
Happy Sunday!
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
Okay, enough offending people. Back to life and stuff…
A cheeky young fellow from Rhyll
Thought his girlfriend was still on the pill
shed forgotten to take
What a costly mistake
Now they’re 18 with twins, what a thrill
Tomorrow…something else
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
One last one I think, as if I haven’t offended enough people already this week.
A Jewish lass, Emily fisk
put her eternal life greatly at risk
with shrimp mussels and cod
she’d offended her god
Now each day she eats hot lobster bisque
Bit ropey but it’ll do…
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
Continue my limericks on the fall from grace…
A Hindu lass hailing from Neath
caused her family much heartache and grief
and dishonour and shame
to the family name
As she sneakily gorged on roast beef
Back tomorrow with one last one I think
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
On the matter of losing one’s faith…continued
A Muslim chap hailing from York
had a secretive yearning for pork
so he gave up the life
shaved, de-shrouded his wife
gorging bacon and beans with a spork.
Tomorrow there will be beef…
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
On losing one’s faith.
A handsome poor priest name of Chad
Found that boobies they made him most glad
So he gave up the life
Found a super hot wife
With big lips, curvy hips and rich dad
Tomorrow…something about Pork…
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
It was suggested I do some saccharin sweet limericks…Ill give it a try I guess. Feels a bit weird to be honest.
To my children
Each morning I look at your smiles
even though you both put us through trials
how your mother she bore you
I simply adore you
so does mum though you did give her piles
that could be a hallmark moment!
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
A jolly fat bellied chap , Nick
Christmas Eve of the children got sick
so he went to the pub
had some drinks and some grub
cancelled Christmas next day, what a dick
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
A limerick, at lunchtime. The clue’s in the title really…
A hillbilly chap, quite obese
one day coverered his sister in grease
from her toes to her head
then he took her to bed
she gave birth to his daughter and niece
maybe another incest based limerick because they fun
I once went to school with a lad
who had a quite young looking dad
turned out his mums lover
was his hot older brother
that’s just wrong, quite disturbing and mad
Anyway, have a good Saturday, not going to be writing much else today got a lot to do…
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
A limerick, at lunchtime. The clue’s in the title really…
A sturdy young chap, Roger black
Hard liquor each night he knocked back
Young vibrant and bold
But then he got old
Now he’s fat and addicted to crack
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
A limerick, at lunchtime. The clue’s in the title really…
A cuddly bus driver from cleaves
was beset by a posse of thieves
stole his clothes, bus and phone
left him stranded alone
and his modesty covered by leaves
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
A skinny young postman called pat
Who could eat but could never get fat
Pies and cakes, buns and sweets,
vegetables, breads and meats
Had a tapeworm you see, fancy that
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
Proof that the limerick form can make sad things less so.
A chubby young fellow called Giles
Got a rather bad case of the piles
Doc said “Don’t be so glum –
pop this cream in your bum,
’till they’re gone just sit carefully and smile
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
Been a bit busy of late so best I can muster is …another lunch time limerick. Proof that the limerick form can make sad things less so.
Lovely fellow was left at the alter
loved her still So he just would not fault her
She ran off with her lover
then got aids from another
and then died late last year in Gibralter
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
Another day another lunch time limerick.
She’s quite gender fluid my gran
so this week she’s being a man
she looks ever so weird
with her moustache and beard
insisting we call her nan Stan
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of me
Another day another limerick.
Another day another lunch time limerick.
A cheeky young lass from Djabouti
buxom, curvaceous, such beauty
she was caught in the park
with a ginger lad, mark
who brought sausage and whipped cream, so fruity!
Want more stuff? I have lots of stuff…
Image courtesy of pixabay
Afterwards 