Convinced he was a boob man
One day she caught him looking
Turns out likes bums more.
Haiku Thursday !
Seems his tastes have changed.
Tag: get well soon
Limerick. Thursday. Go.
Because the day has a ‘Y’ in it that’s why.
a chap, gullible, from Billericay
has a girlfriend quite sneaky and tricky
she would sneak off at night
slip back in by day light
and her hands, mouth and thighs rather sticky
Haiku Tuesday !
The one where the fat bloke danced naked and made another man feel rather unwell.
Exhibitionist
and a great lover of pies
vomit inducing
I think perhaps the picture came first well before the haiku. I don’t know why I chose to draw that, perhaps it is some sort of repressed angst. Maybe I just find the idea funny. Maybe I just happened to draw a fat bloke with a big set of balls and a curiously positioned penis. I don’t know. I do know that it made that other fellow decidedly queasy to the point of throwing up.
Probably a true story.
Seems to be Wednesday suddenly. Well I never.
Better do a limerick then hadn’t I.
A poor chap with a weak constitution
spent much time on his daily ablutions
he would wipe, scrub and clean
’till his bottom did gleam
and was free from unsightly pollutions
Haiku Tuesday !
Which is mostly the same as all the other days of the week to be honest.
I have a list you know
and crave the apocolypse
I know who I’d eat
Ooh that was a bit dark wasn’t it. Okay so I wouldn’t go eating people willy nilly this is worse case scenario you know. All the tinned goods would need to be gone and I would probably have even eating some of the dry cat food and the stuff at the back of the cupboard that is well past it’s use by date. Not the wet cat food though – god no thanks I would rather munch on one of the neighbours before I eat that. Makes me gag at the thought.
Anyway, I’m sure it won’t come to that…
Another Limerick.
Don’t act surprised. It’s not even medically accurate but that never stopped me before.
Once a student, a fellow from Harrow
A urethra quite long but so narrow
he could go all damn night
with no ending in sight
sixty nine, doggy style and wheel barrow
And now for one of these
Fancy more of the same?
Poor kitchen hygiene
handling chilli’s, loves to scratch
balls burn like lava
Oh Monday sweet disgusting Monday
A limerick…
Married fellow it seems he did wonder
about porn that he watched, “chocolate thunder”
then he hungered and craved
the dark python quite shaved
till he had it – it tore him asunder…
Don’t think that’s in the bible…
This was before the internet probably. Or maybe his dad is just old school.
A quite pleasant young Christian Chap Quincy
found a mag ‘neath his dad’s bed one day he
read from cover to cover
oh the things he’d discover
Now cant stop craving boobs ever since see
Shall we? I think you want to…
I might be wrong though. Who really knows what anyone really wants.
a whole bag of prunes
and then two bowls of chilli
this will not end well
Get well soon you dirty little monkey
WHat goes on tour apparently did not stay on tour
So a businessman based up in Libya
from his trip brought home crabs and chlymidia
and a vase from Phuket
from a trans chap he met
and a rash from this lass from Namibia
What goes on tour stays on tour
Shall we? It is nearly Friday after all.
One beer won’t hurt
wakes up spooning a hobo
may be time to quit
Thursday I have Friday on my mind
Got one of these for you if you fancy it…
A scientific young chap from the States
compiled stats on each one of his dates
compared each on a chart
to find what set them apart
still a virgin unlike all his mates
Wednesday…In your face Monday an Tuesday
Let’s hear it for hump day everybody!
Once a kinky young fellow from Crete
got turned on at the sight of the feet
lost his mind at nice heels
arches so made him squeal
the aroma…he exploded…so sweet!
Oh how they grow so fast
maybe because they don’t move much
Left eldest at home
first time all day on his own
I don’t think he moved
He’s not the son of god he’s a very naughty boy…
Offence to some incoming…
Once a charlatan, not reverential
said “I’ll tell folks god’s quite existential
and that yeah, I’m his son
had a thing with my mum
it’s sure to make cash, has potential”
Psst…over here…
I might be wrong about this but I bet I’m not!
Behold Bald Eagle
Great winged symbol of freedom
And lunch in Beijing
Aah Monday, farewell to thee
Who fancies Tuesday then?
Boastful fellow from Just south of Perth
Boasted he had great length and such girth
But it ended in tears
Dropped his pants on the beers
“Hey it’s cold” he protested to mirth
e
Never skip leg day
As if I actually know what that means
Once a fellow, tight bodied and ripped
on his torso worked hard but legs skipped
His top half was gigantic
though a breeze made him frantic
as unbalanced he wobbled and tripped
And yet another one of these
So be careful okay. Don’t say you weren’t warned
Pyromaniac nympho Melinda
snagged a willing young fellow from Tinder
as she reached for the lube
candle fell on his pubes
burnt his scrotum and knob to a cinder
Psst…over here…
Actually nothing to see but thanks for taking a look anyway.
At winters first chill.
nipples kindly remind me
must get some coat hooks
Good Morning World.
Wednesday, well that came around rather quickly. Let’s start by being inappropriate shall we,
Once a frisk young beauty called Mandy
quite insatiable always quite randy
had two fellas most days
her loins always ablaze
and toys for in between, rather handy
Aah Monday, farewell to thee
Who fancies Tuesday then?
Once a chap with a craving for harlot’s
had a Julie, a Kate and a Scarlet
on whom he spend all his cash
and picked up quite a rash
which he gave to his poor girlfriend Charlotte
Farewell to Sunday.
Why not eh
Curly haired scots lad, Mackenzie
red hair, freckles put the girls in a frenzy
Bed sweet Jane all weekend
Thursday, Friday her friend
Monday Tuesday hot Belle, rest on Wednesday
Friday baby yeah!
It is here at least…
Once a lonely young fellow from China
on the net bought a plastic vagina
alas counterfeit wares
suffered bad penis tears
should have gone to Flesh Light, there’s none finer.
I now have a search on my laptop for best fake vagina. Bloody hell. Actually I also have one from this morning for symptoms of gonorrhoea. I think perhaps I may need to flush my cookies and search history just in case the kids have a go on my laptop. Or my wife.
Afterwards 