Afterwards

Maybe one more

Dentist time, open wide!

A cross eyed young dentist called Steven
had teeth that stuck out, most uneven
he could not understand
when he smiled, shook their hand
His customer got up and were leavin’

Dont act surprised, limerick time.

It’s all you get until the end of June. Just limericks. Because why not.

A butcher from Leeds who loved pies
Cant resist them, though trust me tries
Now his belly’s quite round
and his man boobs profound
and you should see the size of his thighs

Limerick o’clock!

Careful you dont catch a cold when frolicking…

A quite lovely temptress from Dover
loved to frolic and roll in the clover
She would lie in the dew
with a fellow or two
caught a chill, went without a pullover

Limerick time yet again

One about men who like sexy shorts

A lycra fanatic from Hull
Would go cycling, but found it quite dull
Not a big fan of sports
But he so loved the shorts
Which he packed quite eye wateringly full

Another limerick because why not…

Gotta look your best when you’re out killing people

Once a Tailor, and serial killer
Found pale soft skin quite the thriller
They would scream, how it hurts
As he turned them to shirts
And smart trousers, that he’d wear to dinner

A nasty limerick of course…

Wash you bloody hands

Once a vet with unhygienic habits

Fondled gerbils and squirrels and rabbits

She got pink eye, and worse

Traumatised a poor nurse

As her bottom it writhed with fat maggots

A Get Well Soon Limerick…

ouchy

Hope this finds you somewhat on the mend

Hear it’s swollen quite close to the end

Feels like it may fall off

If you move fast or cough

And you near shit your pants when you bend

So I’ve finished the audible ‘Battlefield Earth’ book by L Ron Hubbard, which is an absolutely fantastic science fiction piece. I realise he is the father of Scientology, but before he did all of that Shite he wrote some bloody fantastic science fiction in my opinion. I first read the book when I was about 16, and I’ve read it a number of times and have listened to the audio book a couple of times as well. I guess I just find it quite comforting and I just really admire his ability to weave a story.

I am also rereading ‘Elephant men’, which if you like graphic novels is an absolute must. Warring animsl hybrids, hippo private detectives and quite simply a fantastic and emotional romp.

And then I read ‘The Great Gatsby’.

Oh my fuck, how have I been so ignorant not to have Read it.

Story is decent, with some intriguing themes explored, but wow the writing. Truly something so bloody special that I have to resort to bastardry swearing as no words can do it fucking justice.

Fuck you F. Scott Fitzgerald for being so gorgeous…

Hmm…not sure I have a,future in book reviewing…

Limerick. Oh Don’t act surprised.

Explosive stuff

Friend of mine met this lass, not realising

That her bum was quite uncompromising

During candle lit sex

Massive fart, and then next

thing her sphincter’s on fire, unsurprising

Naughty Haiku !

That will leave your breath a bit nasty…

Wife wants a divorce

she caught him with her tooth brush

enjoyed how it buzzed

A love limerick

We all know the type, eh…

Once a fellow quite fond of romance

took a buxom young girl to a dance

he was charming and sweet

swept her right off her feet

all a plan to get into her pants

photo courtesy of me

A haiku about being naked.

One about not wearing pants

ardent naturalist

flatulent, taco Tuesday

soiled their new sofa

Screw you haiku

If you know, you know…

Happily married

or so he always insists

at the blue oyster

A Limerick.

You do you, Brenda

A broad shouldered lady called Brenda
Big old hands, hairy arms, legs quite slender
Wispy beard and top lip
Quite full breast, curvy hip
Size 12 feet, up to her as to gender