Such sweet promises
To sway the heart, legs to part
Once bitten, twice shy

Murdering diminuitive Japanese poetry for your pleasure since 2017.
Such sweet promises
To sway the heart, legs to part
Once bitten, twice shy

Killing diminuitive Japanese poetry one abomination at a time…
New year, off in search
Things we lost along the way
When diets failed us

Just a little something before bed…
Kinda inspired by this if you’ve never read it. I think its one of my best…I even did an audio version.
There are things that pass my lips that I so willingly enjoy
A baby cow, a deer, some sheep, to them utensils I deploy
Fried , roasted, dipped in fondue cheese my preferences are wide
I know they’re cute on the outside, but I so crave the meat inside
Loin, flank, short rib, grass fed, food bid, to stop my clothes from spoiling
Oh whip me up wild roaming fowl, salted, spiced post boiling
These things I lust, my lips do quiver in anticipation
I realise it leaves some folk in the most sternest consternation
But they are safe, so rest assured, my menu rightly lacks their cut
For far too lean and scrawny I do find them, they don’t satisfy my gut
And even though you add some veg, add onions or some aubergine in
No thanks, fear not, I’ll have a salad, for I could never eat a vegan
One from the archives
Once a cyclist of note, name of Mike
Big old smile as he peddled his bike
Look of bliss on his face
For the seat he’d replaced
With a dildo, he really did like!

meh…it will do…
A lass angry and jilted from Reading
Burst in and interrupted a wedding
Said “Last night this here groom
Took me back to his room”
So the brides brothers kicked the chaps head in
Oh such sadness…
Lets explore the sadness of life through the joy of limericks
A young lad I knew as a senior
he got cancer, I think ’twas leukaemia
the treatment it failed
he got thinner and paled
and then died and his wife got bulimia
My dad was a drunk and a cheat
every weekend my mother he beat
took her cash to do drugs
bringing home sluts and thugs
’till we all ended up on the street
First time we met how I tried
not to love, but I made her my bride
then the marriage it failed
when her sister I nailed
Took her life, overdose, suicide
My dog, my best friend always true
dedicated to me through and through
Drunk, I left the door wide
and she ran straight outside
got ran over and died now I’m blue
A chap that I know who loves choir
had to quit giving up his desire
he could not harmonise
when he lost both his eyes
and his tongue when he fell in a fire
I think I’ll stop there, I’m not sure that I’m trying hard enough to make them sad. Or maybe I should blame the limerick, either way I hope it’s not too inappropriate and I think it goes to show that even the most serious of subjects find some lightness in a limerick.
And the 17 sylabbled horse you rode in on.
Loves young tendrils grow
each moment ever closer
And hearts do entwine

A tale as old as time…
Though chasms divide
Hearts long, sweet caress do crave
Such needs unfulfilled

Another flash fiction quickie.
In response to Fandango’s flash fiction challenge.
Will try keep these to no more than 200 words. Today the photo below was posted by Fandango as a prompt. Head over to see him, hes a thoroughtly decent chap.

After all of these years, she is still the beautiful girl I fell in love with. Though time has taken its inevitable toll, on both head and heart, there is still that same sparkle in her eyes which so ensnared me what is now a lifetime ago.
Lines paint a picture of a life well lived across her face, and even if now frail, everyone assembled in the room knows she remains a force of such joy and ferocious endeavour, and that she carries still more fervently a love quite fierce and unquenchable for those she calls friends or family, of which assembled now are as many as the days she has lived.
Tears hide that glint now though, and as I stretch out my hand to comfort her she turns slowly to where we spent those many nights, sat quietly, listening to the crackle and hiss of the ‘soundies’ she loved so dearly, and which she taught me to adore nearly as much as I adored her.
I hear my name across the hubbub of the busy room, and somewhere there is an open door as I feel the cold air of December blow through me. It will be Christmas soon. One more reason to celebrate, one more year to look back on. One more year with her.
Children’s voices drift in and out of earshot as I watch her, still light on her feet as she embraces old friends, her silver hair pulled in a tight bun on top of her head. I prefer it when she lets it hang loose, the way it cascades around her face and onto her shoulders, and oh the hours I have spent watching her in front of the mirror brushing it. She would laugh and tell me not to stare so much, but these were some of my happiest moments. Just us. Together.
I feel a tug, pulling me away. Probably one of the grand children I suspect. Cheeks red from the cold and hair tousled, eyes bright and filled with mischief. I allow myself to be led away, and the room becomes quiet. And then, in that moment, a sadness and an understanding descends up on me I look down and I am alone, there is no small hand in mine. I smile as I finger the ring that has sat on my finger these fifty years.
In the distant now I see her turn towards me, my favourite dress of pale blue contrasted against the dark backdrop of the room. She brushes the hair from her face and smiles as I mouth my last goodbye.
The heart wants what the heart wants
Destined, sweet embrace
Two hearts entwined eternal
Love transcending time

A bit more flash fiction…variation on a theme really…
In response to The Bag Lady’s Tuesday photo prompt, pic below.

I sought another pic from Pixabay to go with it as further inspiration..

And I made this. Mostly a stream of consciousness, no real editing, just some fun with an idea…:
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The ‘click-fizz’ of the opening can caused Brian to stir from his nap. Excited neurons darting across the primary auditory pathways of his temporal lobe, back and forth in frenzied stimulation, a primal response triggered as he slept. His brain processed the inputs, considering past and potential future behaviour in relation to the ‘click-fizz’, the likelihood of a positive outcome to that input, the propensity for one ‘click-fizz’ to result in many more ‘click fizzes’ and subsequently having a jolly good time being had by all. It then determined that an appropriate response to the stimulation would be to wake up and cause Brian to lick his lips.
“Yes please,” Brian said, reaching out an empty hand and sighing. His eyes opened slowly as his fingers clasped around the can he found placed into them.
“You seen that?” came a response.
Brian opened the can and straightened himself on the bench where he had been resting his eyes.
“Seen what, Carl?” Brian asked, opening the can, and taking a drink. It was not as cold as he would have liked but given the circumstances it would most certainly do. That is to say that given that when he went to sleep, he did not have any beer, and, now that he was awake he did, those were circumstances that now seemed decidedly in his favour.
“That,” said Carl, pointing into the sky.
It was hardly necessary for Carl to point given that directly in front of them, looming over the horizon, was something that was quite obviously the moon, but it stretched from one periphery of his vision to the other. Streams of reflected sunlight danced and swirled from the surface, and it had all of the appearance of a golden ball of flame.
“Well, that’s not mean to be there or look like that, is it.” Brian responded quite matter of fact, taking another drink. He paused for a moment, allowing himself to take in the full scene unfolding before him. Ten years on the streets and you think you’ve seen everything, but here he was, surprised once more. “Probably explains why everyone is running around rather panicked,” he added.
“You think?” said Carl, finishing his beer in one long slow gulp, and dropping the can on the grass beneath the park bench where they sat. He then opened a second.
“I’m no astrologist, but I’m pretty sure, yes. I imagine we ought to be panicking too.”
“You mean Astronomer.” Said Carl. “And yes, we could panic, I guess. But what would be the point.”
“Do I?” Brian asked.
“Yes. You mean astronomer. Not astrologist, that’s something completely different.”
Brian looked up into the sky again, then down to his beer, and then back into the sky.
“I expect you’re right on both points then,” Brian continued, “
He sat for a while and watched as a bride ran past them heading somewhere other than the direction that she was running from. She seemed quite determined, and she let her shoes and bouquet fall to the floor before disappearing behind two cars that had managed to have a quite inconvenient head on collision, smoke billowing from one as passengers staggered from both, pointing wildly at the sky.
“That’s a bit of a waste of good shoes,” said Brian, nodding to where they lay in the street.
“You think?” Carl replied taking another drink and opening a third can before he had finished his second. He motioned to the sky with a can in his hand, been spilling down his arm. “That thing’s getting bigger and bigger, so I doubt very much we will need very much of anything in a while.”
“Really?” said Brian as the wail of sirens echoed out across the city. “How much beer do you have?” he asked.
“Oh more than enough my friend,“ said Carl, offering his can to Brian as a toast, “more than enough.”
Killing diminuitive Japanese poetry one abomination at a time…
Sweet hyperbole
In pursuit of fair romance
oft on deaf ears falls

A tale as old as time,…
In response to Fandango’s flash fiction challenge.
Will try keep these to no more than 200 words. Today the photo below was posted:

Nostrils flared and thin slits of bright yellow eyes blinked as they surveyed the unexpected scene below, glittering embers from the fire spiralling into the night, the fiery gold-red shards mixing with the stars of a million unexplored galaxies.
Well, unexplored to these creatures, came the thought, accompanied by a low guttural snarl. Green blue scales rippled in the dying light and a small red panel blinked on a wrist communicator. He punched in coordinates, confirming his location for extraction, and melted into the night and continued to watch.
Living hidden amongst them these many years had shown him their capacity for love, their ability to create from nothing great works of art, and he sighed as he reflected on the wonder of this young and beautiful race.
He had seen the best in them and smiled as he thought of the potential of these people.
But those before him were not those people.
Tonight, when the seventh reconnaissance fleet tore through the atmosphere and filled the skies with death, snuffing out their light and claiming the resources of this world for the First Galactic Emperor, he would sleep like a child at its mothers bosom.
But no, these were not those people. These were hipsters, and he would not miss them at all.
5 Years baby! Eat my words!
Well seems I’ve been here for 5 years.
What the limericky fuck…
Last few years Ive been somewhat quiet, especially this year, but bloody hell, how time flies. Seems just 5 minutes since I started the blog and now I’ve vomited out over 2000 posts in that time.
Heavens above…
In there is at least 1 book I did to prompts over the course of a month, which I really need to redo and publish. It also lead to 2 other actual physical books, which is mental, and oh the fun I have with what must amount to rather a lot of of words on so many different subjects. Poems, short stories, life stuff, camping, limericks, filthy drawings, oh the list goes on and on…
And fortunately, 1600 of you have chosen to follow me along the way which is just brilliant. (though I thinkmany are now dead accounts)
I realise I am very much an acquired taste, but that’s on you if you’ve acquired it, and I know some of my thoughts are illegal in much of America and North Korea, but I still I feel like I know some of you so very well and rather quite like you all through our interactions and your own blogs – and that’s something I never ever expected! What a treat indeed…
Thank you all so much for making this such fun!

This was in my drafts…make of it what you will.
Love sees not the faults
and deaf to accusations
turns blind eye again

One about a front bum
There once was a hooker from China
Had a really quite massive Vagina
Caused by years of abuse
It was frightfully loose
Yet some said there was not one finer
Love sees not the faults
and deaf to accusations
turns blind eye again

Wordy words and waffl
If I could write your story would I change your final pages
Fix your broken heart and put together pieces that you hold
And would I right the wrongs you suffered with new chapters at my will
Tell your story as you dreamt it, as the sun sets growing old
Would I fill your days with laughter, love and care free evermore
With each line crafted for your pleasure and the joys of life unfold
Or cave to writers block that chokes and cruelly robs me of these words
And like embers once so bright now turned to ashes grey and cold
So dot the i’s and cross the t’s then put this pen of hope away
Or maybe leaves the pages blank, and let that story stay untold
For who am I to tell your story, it is yours alone to tell
So live, write it in your own words, I surely should not be so bold
It’s just made up okay, for shits and giggles. Honest. Plus I get to use the dildo bike gif again.
Once a cyclist of note, name of Mike
Big old smile as he peddled his bike
Look of bliss on his face
For the seat he’d replaced
With a dildo, he really did like!

Ruining diminutive Japanese poetry one picture at a time! All credit goes to Prince on this. R.I.P
If you know, you know…
Anticipation
Satisfaction guaranteed
Cruel reality

MMMMMilky goodness
A milk maid most fair and sublime
Drove the local boys wild all the time
They would every night dream
Of her heavenly cream
And her milking technique, quite divine

The best way to achieve something difficult is to have a plan. Here’s mine. I read somewhere that allowing yourself six months to go through all your possessions is a reasonable timeframe. I read somewhere else a long time ago that breaking tidying jobs into either areas (pick up everything off the living room floor) […]
The Downsizing Plan — Today I Downsized This
Just head over and have a read. The diet trolls and snipers scuppered the previous blog, so a new one has taken it’s place. Always a fun read! Do it. trust me…
Ruining diminutive Japanese poetry one picture at a time!
A renewed focus
Transformative targets
Determination

Been forever since I did some of these. Found a new list to work to so let’s see where this leads…

Tied self to bed frame
Cuts off the circulation
passed out, lost a hand
Bondage – to bind. It’s right there in the word,
My ongoing desecration of diminutive Japanese poetry forms
Not done one of these in yonks! Let’s put that right…
This week the challenge was to use synonyms for LOOSE and TIGHT.
clothes baggy like sails
billow in wild winds of greed
tossed as left salad
in exchange for sweet, rich fare
trousers slowly strangle me
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