This was before the internet probably. Or maybe his dad is just old school.
A quite pleasant young Christian Chap Quincy
found a mag ‘neath his dad’s bed one day he
read from cover to cover
oh the things he’d discover
Now cant stop craving boobs ever since see
I might be wrong though. Who really knows what anyone really wants.
a whole bag of prunes
and then two bowls of chilli
this will not end well
WHat goes on tour apparently did not stay on tour
So a businessman based up in Libya
from his trip brought home crabs and chlymidia
and a vase from Phuket
from a trans chap he met
and a rash from this lass from Namibia
Shall we? It is nearly Friday after all.
One beer won’t hurt
wakes up spooning a hobo
may be time to quit
Got one of these for you if you fancy it…
A scientific young chap from the States
compiled stats on each one of his dates
compared each on a chart
to find what set them apart
still a virgin unlike all his mates
Well it was when I set out…
sun slowly fading
first signs of autumn changes
dog shit ‘neath the leaves
Okay so I started trying to do a proper one but mostly I am then just drawn to images of leaves on the ground and we all know what leaves on the ground means right? No? It means dog shit hidden by leaves. You cant go running through the leaves and kicking them playfully anymore for fear of whipping up a Doberman turd into the face of a passing child or being late for school because you have to head back home to clean the crap out of the kids school shoes.
No, I am not ready for Autumn yet because it will inevitably make me grumpy and complain about dog owners a lot and it has so been a pleasant summer.
Let’s hear it for hump day everybody!
Once a kinky young fellow from Crete
got turned on at the sight of the feet
lost his mind at nice heels
arches so made him squeal
the aroma…he exploded…so sweet!
maybe because they don’t move much
Left eldest at home
first time all day on his own
I don’t think he moved
Offence to some incoming…
Once a charlatan, not reverential
said “I’ll tell folks god’s quite existential
and that yeah, I’m his son
had a thing with my mum
it’s sure to make cash, has potential”
I might be wrong about this but I bet I’m not!
Behold Bald Eagle
Great winged symbol of freedom
And lunch in Beijing
Who fancies Tuesday then?
Boastful fellow from Just south of Perth
Boasted he had great length and such girth
But it ended in tears
Dropped his pants on the beers
“Hey it’s cold” he protested to mirth
e
Thought the headline might catch your attention.
Once a premature fellow from France
met a lovely young lass at a dance
with a touch of her hand
it went not quite as planned
He exploded all over his pants
As if I actually know what that means
Once a fellow, tight bodied and ripped
on his torso worked hard but legs skipped
His top half was gigantic
though a breeze made him frantic
as unbalanced he wobbled and tripped
So be careful okay. Don’t say you weren’t warned
Pyromaniac nympho Melinda
snagged a willing young fellow from Tinder
as she reached for the lube
candle fell on his pubes
burnt his scrotum and knob to a cinder
Actually nothing to see but thanks for taking a look anyway.
At winters first chill.
nipples kindly remind me
must get some coat hooks
Wednesday, well that came around rather quickly. Let’s start by being inappropriate shall we,
Once a frisk young beauty called Mandy
quite insatiable always quite randy
had two fellas most days
her loins always ablaze
and toys for in between, rather handy
Who fancies Tuesday then?
Once a chap with a craving for harlot’s
had a Julie, a Kate and a Scarlet
on whom he spend all his cash
and picked up quite a rash
which he gave to his poor girlfriend Charlotte
Why not eh
Curly haired scots lad, Mackenzie
red hair, freckles put the girls in a frenzy
Bed sweet Jane all weekend
Thursday, Friday her friend
Monday Tuesday hot Belle, rest on Wednesday
It is here at least…
Once a lonely young fellow from China
on the net bought a plastic vagina
alas counterfeit wares
suffered bad penis tears
should have gone to Flesh Light, there’s none finer.
I now have a search on my laptop for best fake vagina. Bloody hell. Actually I also have one from this morning for symptoms of gonorrhoea. I think perhaps I may need to flush my cookies and search history just in case the kids have a go on my laptop. Or my wife.
Thinking too much she falls
a rabbit hole of awkward smiles and good intentions
and alone her cries echo on cold stone walls
Wanting too much she aches
She’s been around, wet streets know her reflection
And as much as she gives she never takes
Feeling too much she cries
And avoiding your gaze and close inspection
Smiles as time and tide wasted past her flies
And living too little she dies
A candle unburnt without connection
Unnamed burning star in the skies
It will clear up probably maybe.
On a business trip to Tanzania
chap I know came back with gonorrhoea
which he gave to his wife
now lives the single life
Oh the things that come from just one beer
Or maybe. Possibly. Actually it’s up to you I’m not the boss of you.
needs to go shopping
Ate the contents of the fridge
shared it with Jesus
Fancy one of these to start the day?
Once a lady of grace poise and style
with a wink and caress would beguile
round her finger she wrapped
foolish men, quite entrapped
and the things she could do with a smile
Sorry that’s a bit fake isn’t it. I’m trying to be positive…
Left curtains open
danced like nobody’s watching
awkward neighbour stares
Breakfast bagel perhaps?
Once a quite splendid baker, a Brummie
lovely baps, light croissants oh so scrummy
met a girl who get wet
at his wonderous baguette
and his muffin, dear god so so yummy
Afterwards 