Tag: dieting

It’s been a while. Let’s get back on the horse shall we.

Of course I will start with a limerick…

Once a lass felt her life was so missing

intimacy and loving and kissing

met a chap in the park

dated, soon turned quite dark

went from petting to bondage and pissing

 

 

A Limerick. Best I can muster at the moment.

Where the hell did the week go?

What an insanely busy few weeks here.  I have had little chance to do a great deal at all and I am missing writing and will hopefully be back to normal in just over a week.  Rugby season has started and I have a couple of festivals to organise and have been travelling a wee bit with work so the days seem to have escaped me…

 

A chap that I know had a prude

of a wife who was not fond of nude

fornication instead

she insisted that bed

was for rest and not anything rude

 

Wednesday. Well I never…

Wednesday, well that came around rather quickly. Let’s start by being inappropriate shall we,

A quite elegant classical beauty

had a boyfriend who tried to get fruity

with her holes was obsessed

whether naked or dressed

be it mouth, twixt her thighs or her booty

 

A limerick to ease us out of Sunday and into the new week.

I find the withdrawal method the best way to end the week and prevent unwanted weekend hangover.

A free loving hard drinking lass Mandy

would go down for a bottle of brandy

would dry hump for white wine

for 6 beers, 69

and a hand job for two pints of shandy.

 

 

 

 

 

Here you go, just a quickie

Reminds me of the joke told by Prince on the Batman album…

Things sure seem different

she swears she’s been true indeed

loves well endowed dwarfs

 

vag.png

 

I didn’t mean to make it about dwarfs, but my drawing went all to shit scale wise so it was either dwarfs or kids hiding in the bushes and I took the less offensive/illegal route.  I mean there are boundaries I wouldn’t cross.  At one point it had the words ‘cavernous vagina’ in there too which was again, wholly unnecessary and rather crass.  Sorry.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes all you need is a limerick.

Well I say that but sometimes you need a lawyer. or penicillin.

Once a chap with some erectile woes

Bad sleep walker as well, as it goes

One night took Viagra pill

down the stairs he did spill

Broke his shoulder, his cock and three toes

 

 

Aah Monday…

As the seasons begin to change you might find yourself in need of a get well soon limerick. Well you might. Maybe.

Oh poor thing heard you snuffling and sneezing

and your chest sounds quite tight and you’re wheezing

so stop smoking, you dick

I don’t care that you’re sick

and not smelling you would be quite pleasing

 

Well okay that was rather rude wasn’t it.  As an ex smoker I do still miss a cigarette from time to time, especially in the winter.  Oddly less so in the summer.  I enjoyed vaping for some time too but eventually got bored of the whole lot and packed it in.  I do miss all the smoke breaks I used to take at work…

 

 

Diet o’clock 1st of September

This week there was curry.

This week seems to have passed me by and I am not sure where it went.  I was off work with the boys as it is the last week of the summer holidays.  Early on in the week we headed to Wales for a few days and headed up Mount Snowden and had a mooch around Wales.  Back end its been back to school shopping and getting all of those things done I wanted to do these 6 weeks.

With everything we had on I’ll admit I haven’t given much thought to food really.  We stopped off at a place next to the motorway on the way there and faced with eating something I would likely kick myself for or nothing at all I went for nothing.  When we got to the top of the mountain there was mostly pies on offer so I had a bite of each of the boys and that was enough.  They had ice cream and I didn’t.

Now in the past this would have felt like a victory, and perhaps it is , but I was actually quite happy waiting until I could get something I really wanted.

There is certainly something of a change in my thinking and whilst there is a long way to go I am happy that for the most part I keep trying to make the right choices.

Oh and then I ate a gigantic gummy worm.  I mean freaking huge.

Worth it!