Tag: dieting

Asparagus made my pee smell funky

Never had it before…

So it’s been about four days since I embarked on the Whole30 eating plan thingy and so far so good.

I am not weighing myself or taking any sort of measurements just concentrating on trying to eat properly and I will see what happens.  Her are a few observations from my first few days.

Turns out my kids do not like asparagus, so not wanting to waste it I ate an entire bloody bundle which I had grilled with garlic and lemon.  It was rather lovely and it had the side effect of making my pee smell most fragrant.  I didn’t know about the effects but it is scientifically proven apparently.  Who knew eh.

I am spending a lot of time cooking.  Oh goodness like non stop.  I made ratatouille last night because I accidentally ordered about a dozen courgettes and as delicious as it was the mere sight of it made the family gag so I ended up doing broccoli and fish for the boys with a dill sauce and later on my wife made herself something that was neither full of courgette of smelled like fish.

I do feel less bloated.  I noticed that pretty quickly and I also think I have more energy.  Maybe I am just imagining it but I have found myself more keen to do things I might not have previously.

Almond milk is unpleasant though I will persist and am slowly acquiring the taste for it.  Slowly mind, it’s a work in progress.  You might as well make spinach milk or sprouts milk if you’re going to make milk from weird stuff.

Family quote of the week so far: “You smell like eggs and garlic get away from me!”

 

 

 

Diet o’clock

This feels more serious.

I have written previously on such matters as dieting and being fat, and as anyone who is overweight knows there is always the desire to do something about it but that desire is seldom more powerful than the lure of eating a pizza in bed or shovelling doughnuts into ones face in the middle of the night.  That’s just the way it is, and anyone who tells you different is wrong.

Apparently, from what I have read, it’s pretty easy to lose weight really and one’s motivation simply needs to be more compelling than the deliciousness of chocolate ice cream.

For me I am hoping that I now have that motivation.  I am not getting any younger but I am getting progressively larger and it doesn’t seem to take the effort it used to either.  I am 47 this year and probably at my heaviest ever and whilst I always felt pretty indestructible regardless of my weight this year I am starting to think that maybe I am human after all.

Bits of me ache that didn’t used to ache before, my knees particularly, and quite recently I did something to my back which persists still which I attribute to having a core mostly made of fudge and treacle.

So what am I doing about it?  Well I did some reading and am going to start whith this Whole30 thing.  Google it there are loads of sites about it. I think I need to change the way I think about food and understand more about what I am shovelling into my face and to understand the impacts of it beyond it just tasting delicious and giving me a rather full bottom.

I bought some books, did a monstrous £200 online shopping order and it seems it is now underway.  I will write more about it I am sure, but tonight I took the first steps and made turkey filled cucumber thingumabob’s which you can see below.   I even made some sort of dressing too.   Surprisingly the boys really enjoyed them (as did I) and that’s important because I fear I have passed my own food issues onto them so want to change it.

I will let you know how it goes over the next month.

20180621_1903401071278562325514324.jpg20180621_1854093329208199231366392.jpg

 

 

Oh that sounds frightful you poor lamb

Hope you feel better soon.

 

Oh you poor little fellow, so sad

heard you piercing’s infected quite bad

and it’s likely you’ll lose it

lesson learned, don’t abuse it

how you’ll miss what you lost that you had

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh go on then, it is Wednesday after all.

Go on you know you want to. It isn’t at all weird or anything,

 

Once a man who would give nought to charity

had a moment of soul searching clarity

gave up all he possessed

to the poor did divest

all his goods to try make up disparity

 

 

It’s getting personal now it seems.

A request of sorts. Or was it a promise? Or a threat?

There once was a woman from Maine

loved her dog but it drove her insane

ate her chairs and the sofa

soiled her husband Bill’s loafer

doleful eyes insist he’s not to blame

Again, and this is the second time I have had to clarify such a matter in the last few days, but it is the dog that insists it was not to blame and not husband Bill.  I am pretty sure Bill likes the dog and wouldn’t/culdn’t possibly pass solids into his own best loafer’s just to discredit the dog.  Thinking about it I am not sure how easy it would be to soil one’s own shoe.  It would take a serious effort to land anything inside it I am sure.  Well if anyone has any insights into such things please feel free to share.

Michael

 

 

 

 

An ode to dieting

Why is it when I choose to diet
I crave red meat and choose to fry it
And sauces full of cheese – I’ll try it
My resistance sadly none

And when I start the day with bran
I go to work and where I can
Resist temptation, that’s the plan
…By ten I gorge for fun

And suddenly a man possessed
With little will power I’m obsessed
As cream bun crumbs fall down my chest
Devine drips on my tongue

By lunchtime I think, “No” renewed
And salad is my chosen food
Then crumble, custard, fruit well stewed
So weak yet god, so yum

Maybe tonight it will go well
As moobs and belly, jowls do swell
It seems today went all to hell
And god look at my bum

But tomorrow is another day
“I’ll do way better”, hear me say
Perhaps this time I will not stray
And surrender to my tum