Southern chap, needin’ some lovin’
Had a thing with his buxom young cousin
Made a freak, quite inbred
With 3 arms,half a head
Put a coudin/son bun in her oven…
Limerick o’clock…
Southern chap, needin’ some lovin’
Had a thing with his buxom young cousin
Made a freak, quite inbred
With 3 arms,half a head
Put a coudin/son bun in her oven…
Another one of these…
These things from which were crudely hewn
And in this expanse shaped and formed
Give way to heart and hate and fires
that burn and fiercely do refine
This love that cuts and scars run deep
warm laughter hollow peaks then fades
And darkness melts at growing light
Which swells and soars, illuminating.
So come what will, we bend unbroken
Buffeted by winds of change
and edges soften, time moves onwards
rearranged and stained and aged.
Now take this thing I have become
With artists eye see shape and form
And lines, deep colours, shades and tones
this creation ever changing.
More words…
She hides herself, thoughts tucked away
Inside a box, paint peeling, worn and cracked
Beneath a bed where lies are told when night smothers day
And from the corners voices call of things she always lacked
Sepia faded could-have-beens hang crooked on the walls
that echo words she should have said
but lips fell silent, never answered late night desperate calls
and lovers tender touch that lived somewhere only in her head
For heart’s are tender, yet she craves what would have been
Picks flowers from him, the one that smiled, or so she thought
And how it lead to all the beauty still unseen
That might have been, but years pass, and still has come to nought
And so once more she lifts the lid and places hope inside
Dust filled, it sits, another day perhaps, maybe
And voices call, quicky it closes, time to hide
Tears in the dust, no one will ever see
WORTHLESS WORDS…
This starless nothing spins, consuming
And withers, just like time
Pale faced, backs bent, and fingers clicking
Silent lips mouth blissful groans, sublime
Emerging, shed cocoon sticky underfoot
They slither in foul brine, gasping
And to a damned eternity
He bleeds his lot to everlasting
Each promise kept betrays his heart
And dead eyes fed the crows
As shadows hide the things that lurk
In darkest corners, yet each day it grows
Until Quite spent he slips to sleep
And dreams alleviate
The claws and teeth, blood red that feast
Born out of contenpt,lies and hate
Another day, more of this…
This is no Haiku
I will not be restricted
Wont curtail my verse
Protest all you like
With your tight little structure
Impingeing my flow
Now away with you
And let me enjoy freedom
Words flow like water
In your face haiku
I cannot abide your grip
Eat my verbose words!
My descent into troll/goblin oral loving is complete
So I tried to write something poetic, then the word gobbling sprung into my head, then I could think of nothing but rhyming hobbling and gobbling (or goblin) and then there was this emerging limerick where someone with just one leg went around town hobbling in search of gobbling and then it was verging on something really dirty full of one legged people gobbling goblin cocks and I htought surely you can do better than that and then I couldn’t really rhyme gobbling with goblin and it just all fell apart…so instead i wrote a poem about a Goat called Gary
Oh Gary, your coat so wirey and hooves, steadfast
To mountain sides you cling, never hobbling
And on your back, majestic goblins lurch and writhe
in search of trolls for sweetest gobbling to enjoy
for girth does eyes make water and the length
of days is measured in the gagging over hill and glen and…
———————————————-
Oh for fuck sake…I’m going to bed… this is ridiculous…
Well that went downhill very f’ing fast…
I neither give one nor possess enough
to spare a flying kind
You’re entitled to not give one back
Or put one up your large behind…
F You, me, they, them, thems, hes and shes
F this and that, your dog and cat
horse you rode in on, and also that
for a game of marbles if you please…
So off you go, and F yourself
And while you’re there F someone else
Your mum, your dad, your neighbours kids
and do confess to what you did
For in the joy of F’s release
will you find sweet sweet f’ing peace
No thinking, just see what vomits forth!
He heads down to the water, deep swells and stormy skies
Spill and swirl across lifes pages
His dark Aphrodite, his goddess of the ages
Her passion and bliss the mirror to his lies
.
She beckons, sweetest of voice cuts through the storm
And how he yearns for the sea in that hour
To sink beneath the waves, to feel loves power
As cavalcades of white wave top riders herald brightest dawn
.
Zephyrus dries her, stars reflected in the ocean of her eyes
And all things fade away and into bliss theyre lifted
Tears dried, they surrender to the now and forever they’ve been gifted
And shine like brightest constellation of the skies
D is for stuff, right?
Give me the D, or is it he that surely D deserves
And surely something so profound needs more to calm the nerves
For D , you see, can be what he, or she or we desire
While we presume for our own good
this D would give what a bee should
in sweetness, sticky and sublime
I fight to keep this D of mine
And stake a claim and over time
will learn to be the he who sees the D
and thinks, perhaps it’s not for me
and O-M-G feel free to see that we can be
A he, him, she without the need forD and what might be
More words. Going to be a month of words. Wordy words…
These are the days that we remember
When thoughts like fog drift into night
Still clear, like endless summer skies
Amid confusion, doubts and lies
Without a doubt, still bold, they shine so very clear and bright
…
We are the memories they see, when at the very end
The final thoughts, the sweetest times
Unmarked by ticking time or tide
The hearts that beat where lovers hide
Kept safe in song and word and rhyme
….
Here in this place we will be seen
And felt where longing is fulfilled
By force of will if all else fails
For love abides and hopoe prevails
For hearts at closing of the day find peace in love, strong willed
And there we see who we could surely be
To be, or not
And in that lot not once to wonder what
And why and just wherefore. So stop
To breathe and in the presence of the past
Then look upon the days we thought would last
But voices once so loud not start to drop
And thoughts they turn to who, not why, nor when
We are, we were, we could have been, and then
We climb and conquer, proudly stand atop
And there we see who we could surely be
Been a while since I waffled…
I held A moment in my hands and held it to the light
And rolled it through my fingers, mix of shades of dark and light
Then, scrutinised and sanitised
And pulled and picked apart
Drained it of emotion, felt its fading, beating heart
.
I found A moment in the dark and hid it from the sun
Swore to keep it safe and secret and to show it to no one
But it slipped through clutching fingers
And I lost it, gone from sight
The promise of enlightenment, neglected in the night
.
I took A moment for myself and promised to take stock
To count the toll of carelessness, and return to my rock
of things I love and those I know
Which shelter from the storms
And heart and hearth burn brightly, and the fires that keep me warm
So, can AI write your blog content?
There is a lot of talk right now of AI, CHAT GPT, and other Large Language AI’s…and oh lordy is it going to be an interesting ride. I, for one, am looking forward to serving our Robot Overlords, though some are more concerned over just what may transpire.
If you haven’t read much about it, then I urge you to get out there and explore it.
Anyway, I thought I would see just how good CHAT GPT would be at generating blog content. So, first, I told it to do me a limerick involving a llama, in pyjamas, and an amorous farmer. Something I had posted about the previous day.
The AI wrote:
There once was a farmer named Fred,
Who loved his llama more than his bed,
He dressed it in pyjamas,
And sang it sweet ballads,
And that’s how he spent his days instead.
I think my limericks are safe for now. Then I asked it to write a poem about love.
Here’s a poem about love:
Love is a feeling that’s hard to describe, It’s like a warm hug that you can’t hide, It’s the way your heart beats when you’re near, And the way your eyes light up with cheer.
Love is the sun on a cloudy day, It’s the rainbow after the rain goes away, It’s the laughter that fills up the room, And the way your heart feels when it starts to bloom.
Love is the feeling that makes life worth living, It’s the joy that comes from giving and giving, It’s the way your soul sings when you’re in love, And the way your heart soars like a dove.
I hope you enjoyed it! 😊
Then I asked it for a 200-word story about a man who finds a vampire living in his barn:
John had always known that there was something strange about the old barn on his property. But he never could have guessed what he would find inside.
One day, while doing some repairs, John stumbled upon a hidden room in the barn. Inside, he found a coffin and a man sleeping inside it. At first, John thought the man was dead, but then he saw his chest rise and fall.
The man woke up and introduced himself as Vlad. He explained that he was a vampire who had been living in the barn for centuries. John was shocked but also fascinated by Vlad’s story.
Over time, John and Vlad became friends. Vlad taught John about the history of vampires and how to protect himself from them. In return, John helped Vlad adjust to modern life.
Eventually, Vlad decided it was time to move on. He thanked John for his friendship and disappeared into the night.
John never forgot about Vlad and often wondered where he had gone. But he was grateful for the experience and knew that he would never forget the time he spent with the vampire in his barn.
Okay, so not amazing but interesting, right? Not wholly awful. And then I got it to do something I think it did brilliantly.
I asked it to do a review of a pizza I had the night before, and then focus on the sourdough base ith a positive slant, and then describe a fictitious new york restaraunbt. It dod all of this in about 5 seconds…
The combination of anchovies, olives, and blue cheese may not be for everyone, but for those who enjoy these toppings, this pizza is a real treat.
The salty flavor of the anchovies pairs perfectly with the tangy blue cheese and the briny olives. The crust is crispy and chewy, providing the perfect base for the toppings.
Overall, this pizza is a great choice for those who are looking for something a little different. It’s not your typical pepperoni pizza, but it’s definitely worth trying if you’re feeling adventurous.
The sourdough pizza base was absolutely delicious. It had the perfect balance of chewiness and crispiness, with a tangy flavor that complemented the toppings perfectly.
The crust was thin and crispy, with just the right amount of char around the edges. The sourdough flavor was subtle but definitely noticeable, adding an extra layer of complexity to the pizza.
Overall, I would highly recommend this pizza to anyone who loves sourdough bread or is looking for something a little different from their usual pizza. It’s definitely worth trying!
This pizzeria is an absolute gem! The small tables with chequered tablecloths give it a cozy and welcoming atmosphere that is perfect for a night out with friends or family.
The staff are incredibly friendly and attentive, making sure that you have everything you need to enjoy your meal. They are always happy to make recommendations and answer any questions you may have.
The pizza itself is absolutely delicious. The crust is crispy and chewy, with just the right amount of char around the edges. The sauce is tangy and flavorful, and the toppings are always fresh and delicious.
Overall, I would highly recommend this pizzeria to anyone who loves great food and great service. It’s definitely worth checking out if you’re in the area!
AND THEN I ASKED IT FOR A HAIKU ABOUT LEAVES
Leaves fall gently down,
Dancing in the summer breeze,
Nature’s poetry.
I have no idea where this all ends, but it is happening, and it is happening very fast. Get used to it. Understand it. It is going to change everything…
Oh and I havent even got into its ability to generate images – but it does that too. The image for this prompt was generated to a description I gave Dal-E. Lord alone knows what this means for art and artists…
ONE FROM THE ARCHIVES
I would not eat a panda
it does not appeal to me
Despite it being grass fed
and not tough and quite juicy
It’s flesh I would not sauté
bake or broil or steam or fry
I would not make some pastry
and then bake it in a pie
Please do not serve me blue whale
it would surely be obscene
To brown it in a skillet
with chopped garlic and some cream
I could not sample blow hole
or a steak of flesh most pink
Do not prepare me sperm whale
or an orca or a mink
Bald Eagle’s off the menu
it could never pass my lips
I’d never shallow fry it
And then serve it with some chips
Please do not bring it to me
if you do I will reject
The smorgasbord of tasty
claws and wings and beaks and necks
Be gone you furry entrée
do not ask me to abide
A puppy stuffed with kitten
and Koala on the side
It leaves me feeling queasy
and on me it does repeat
I gag on eucalyptus
flavoured mar-su-pi-al meat
I’d never eat a chilli
made of simians for sure
Orang-utan with lentils
that I surely would deplore
I’d not enjoy chim-pan-zee
milk poached with fresh vanilla
I’d rather eat a salad
than bar-be-cued gorilla
But pig and cow I’ll gorge on
and chickens fill the belly
Once eels I even sampled
But the hot ones not in jelly
So why’s each species different
some not headed for the pot
whilst others we eat freely
quite delicious cold or hot
——————————————————–
Fancy something else?
https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/
https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/
mmmmmmmeaty goodness
There are those who will dine
on fine foods and great wine
and who want just the finest of treats
But not me, no, no way
I’m quite proud when I say
Im a fan of the less refined meats
Give me Pies filled with heart
though it does make me fart
give me puddings of tripe, brains and balls
though it makes me quite gassy
I can still keep it classy
and with gravy for sure eat it all
Give me chicken arse flan
I’m not bothered with ham
give me dishes pile high with pig scrotum
I’ve this recipe for stew
with the balls of gnu
and some others, so good, ‘cos I wrote ’em
Oh I cannot resist
the dark meats on my list
how i crave juicy brains, spine and liver
feed me pies filled with wings
of all high flying things
lick my lips in delight how I shiver
Dont cast doubt or dispute
nature’s leftover fruit
say ‘perhaps’ if your offered intestines
you might just take delight
at each savoury bite
as you wash it down with rich red house wines
No words needed

Not mentioned this for a while…
You can read about the WHY here…but it’s out there. 300 of my finest limericks. Currently trending at number 359 in the limericks category on Amazon!
After a few people have read it I am probably about ready to admit I am kinda proud of it now. 🙂
Paperback in the UK is here
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1916089011
And in the US here
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1916089011
There are ebook versions too.
words…
At Days close he waits content
to say goodbye and drift to night
and in those moments years rolled back
warm smiles and joy and eyes shine bright
Her warm embrace and tender kiss
and babies cries and laughter sweet
when blankets laid across his knees
worn eyes do close and visions greet
First words, first steps, first dates first kiss
long days dark nights but then
he sees her face and hears her voice
and love’s restored again
And as he slips to dark and rest
a life well lived he sees
of family, love and heart and hearth
life passing like the breeze
And in that moment vivid, clear
old lips whisper and say
each day a treasure I received
farewell, on this last day
The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much. Mostly though I like to defile them…
Left his phone unlocked
Wife browses the internet
Sweating profusely
Waves crash like thunder
grey skies, cold waters, time flies
Makes me need a wee
Red dress and pale skin
Heads turn, hearts race, open mouthed
Wardrobe malfunction
Cold blue winter skies
Crisp snow covers city streets
Dead hobo doorway
yummy yum yum
A sausage fan Frankie Maloney
Had a craving for fresh made polony
From pigs trotters and snout
Chickens anus and trout
And some testicles , preferable pony
I think Americans call it Baloney though right? Not Polony. Potato potato…
Hearts xxx
What once were endless summer days, and tender nights not counted
Sweetest whispers, love unbridled, days drift by embraced
And 69 more ways your soft pink flesh was nightly mounted
And your skin glowed with the blush of love’s seed spilled upon your face
The heart quickened, loins wet, thickened, hair pulled, lost souls intertwined
Gimp mask, red room, 12 inch pseudo love meat, I am yours and you are mine.
So spent, we lay in sheets soiled with the remnants of our love
we fit like trains into a tunnel, like large hand into small glove
And when no lube can dampen, when blue pills can not revive
Will we shuffle from this mortal coil, our passions still alive
Somewhere far beyond these night time stars that we once watched together,
Shall our memories drift slowly into inky black forever
________________________
Oh come on, it’s saturday, why not do something a little different.
The first 2 lines and the last two are kind of sweet I think.
Happy weekend you cheeky monkeys!
Darkest desires
drive dubious decisions
lifetime of regret

Words and more words
I made for you a garden
From the stars I stole from cloudless skies
And deep within earth’s warm embrace
Sprung forth as tears streamed down your face
And quiet you sat in this place
And waited patiently
Each passing day under the skies
With hope, new shoots turned into bloom
And brightly shine when sunset falls
Until the light like beacon calls
These shards of nightfall, heart enthrals
From shadows setting free
And with the seasons turning, living
Pass full circle, gold to green
Hearts warmed by light unwavering
And beauty bright, sweet savouring
Sweet tears of heaven favouring
Forever comforts thee
Time brings forgiveness
and oft makes right hearts once wronged
forgiveness once more

love, life, live
Loves young tendrils grow
each moment ever closer
And hearts do entwine
