My descent into troll/goblin oral loving is complete

So I tried to write something poetic, then the word gobbling sprung into my head, then I could think of nothing but rhyming hobbling and gobbling (or goblin) and then there was this emerging limerick where someone with just one leg went around town hobbling in search of gobbling and then it was verging on something really dirty full of one legged people gobbling goblin cocks and I htought surely you can do better than that and then I couldn’t really rhyme gobbling with goblin and it just all fell apart…so instead i wrote a poem about a Goat called Gary

Oh Gary, your coat so wirey and hooves, steadfast

To mountain sides you cling, never hobbling

And on your back, majestic goblins lurch and writhe

in search of trolls for sweetest gobbling to enjoy

for girth does eyes make water and the length

of days is measured in the gagging over hill and glen and…


Oh for fuck sake…I’m going to bed… this is ridiculous…

Ronovan’s Haiku Challenge: Bold & Daring

Haiku challenge using ‘Short’ and ‘Sexy’. I feel I may be being set up…


It’s time for another of Ronovan’s haiku challenges.  Not done one for a few weeks…


Oh, Caps locks and Bold

Your point made. Very daring

come here I’ll punch you


You know the sort of person don’t you.  Uses Bold and Caps Locks.  Maybe even sneaks in a bit of an underline.   If you want to use CAPS LOCK to shout at me then do it to my face that I can punch you in your mouth because it’s bloody rude and believe it or not I don’t like rude people.

I guess that’s a cue for people to comment with CAPS LOCK AND BOLD.  I dare you, I will find you!

Maybe one more…


Fashion victims

A bold and daring outfit

you look really shit


Not eloquent I admit.  Theres just something about certain ensembles that leave you mostly unable to muster anything other that ‘you look really shit’.  I know this because I am that person who, no matter what they wear looks truly appalling.  I have a body that is not made for clothes but sweet mother of all things holy it needs to be covered as much and as often as possible.  Put me in a suit I look like a perverted child molesting penguin.  Shorts and tee shirt and my legs dangle out of the bottom like pale slabs of rancid pork.  Heaven forbid I should don a pair of jeans.  That is the point at which my arse cleavage makes a run for it and spills out just as you’re about to take a sip of your Latte making you wish you’d been born blind…

Anyway, happy Monday!



Ronovan’s Haiku Challenge: Short & Sexy

Haiku challenge using ‘Short’ and ‘Sexy’. I feel I may be being set up…

Hmmm Short and sexy:

skirts, shorts, midgets, dwarfs, elves, fae

hey I’m not judging…

I often do a load of these but today, I think I will leave it at that one. I’m tired and it will only lead to me writing loads of sexy dwarf haiku. I could I want to okay, I’m just not because it could be hurtful and I would never do anything like that…