Tag: get well soon

It’s been a while. Let’s get back on the horse shall we.

Of course I will start with a limerick…

Once a lass felt her life was so missing

intimacy and loving and kissing

met a chap in the park

dated, soon turned quite dark

went from petting to bondage and pissing

 

 

A Limerick. Best I can muster at the moment.

Where the hell did the week go?

What an insanely busy few weeks here.  I have had little chance to do a great deal at all and I am missing writing and will hopefully be back to normal in just over a week.  Rugby season has started and I have a couple of festivals to organise and have been travelling a wee bit with work so the days seem to have escaped me…

 

A chap that I know had a prude

of a wife who was not fond of nude

fornication instead

she insisted that bed

was for rest and not anything rude

 

Wednesday. Well I never…

Wednesday, well that came around rather quickly. Let’s start by being inappropriate shall we,

A quite elegant classical beauty

had a boyfriend who tried to get fruity

with her holes was obsessed

whether naked or dressed

be it mouth, twixt her thighs or her booty

 

A limerick to ease us out of Sunday and into the new week.

I find the withdrawal method the best way to end the week and prevent unwanted weekend hangover.

A free loving hard drinking lass Mandy

would go down for a bottle of brandy

would dry hump for white wine

for 6 beers, 69

and a hand job for two pints of shandy.

 

 

 

 

 

Here you go, just a quickie

Reminds me of the joke told by Prince on the Batman album…

Things sure seem different

she swears she’s been true indeed

loves well endowed dwarfs

 

vag.png

 

I didn’t mean to make it about dwarfs, but my drawing went all to shit scale wise so it was either dwarfs or kids hiding in the bushes and I took the less offensive/illegal route.  I mean there are boundaries I wouldn’t cross.  At one point it had the words ‘cavernous vagina’ in there too which was again, wholly unnecessary and rather crass.  Sorry.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes all you need is a limerick.

Well I say that but sometimes you need a lawyer. or penicillin.

Once a chap with some erectile woes

Bad sleep walker as well, as it goes

One night took Viagra pill

down the stairs he did spill

Broke his shoulder, his cock and three toes

 

 

Aah Monday…

As the seasons begin to change you might find yourself in need of a get well soon limerick. Well you might. Maybe.

Oh poor thing heard you snuffling and sneezing

and your chest sounds quite tight and you’re wheezing

so stop smoking, you dick

I don’t care that you’re sick

and not smelling you would be quite pleasing

 

Well okay that was rather rude wasn’t it.  As an ex smoker I do still miss a cigarette from time to time, especially in the winter.  Oddly less so in the summer.  I enjoyed vaping for some time too but eventually got bored of the whole lot and packed it in.  I do miss all the smoke breaks I used to take at work…

 

 

Haiku for you

Aah welcome weekend indeed

Selective smelling

father claims did not realise

baby leaking shit

aaaaaaaaaaaaastink

Aah this takes me back to those selective moments when we first had kids. She would apparently not hear the middle of the night crying and I in turn would seldom realise that a nappy had just been filled. Must have been her motherly super senses I reckon that she just noticed first.