Even more of my ongoing journey of calorie deficit and intermittent fasting

A second and more learned opinion on my progress to date.

Well it was my annual health assessment this week, so I dragged myself over to Leeds to allow the nice folk at BUPA to do the things they like to do to me. Last years assessment was the beginning of a bit of a mini spiral for me when, just before Christmas, they declared me in fine shape which I took as a sign to eat, drink and be merry – and I then continued to do so post Christmas and into lockdown and by the time I looked at the scales in May I had put on about 10kgs.

I make no excuses for this, I like to eat. I like to drink, and whilst I am often a grumpy old fart, I can also be found being merry from time to time.

Anyway, this was when this most recent journey began. Fast forward one year and it was with great trepidation, and a little excitement, that I took off my coat and boots and stepped (wearing the lightest clothes I could find that morning) onto the scales.

Over 10KG down on last year. Throw in the 10KG or so that weren’t even on their records and that’s not bad going at all.

A battery of tests was to follow and it turned out my heart was okay, my BP in an ok range (I had ran out of tablets so it was a little elevated) and my cholestrol, blood sugar and haemoglobin were all looking good. My body fat was down 7% (though I am still more than a third made of fat) and my waist was down 7cm or some such.

So on the whole everything trending as I had hoped and they were obviously happy with the results.

At the end of the session the doctor even caressed my testicles and stuck a finger up my bottom which I am assuming was a reward for my fine efforts this year.

Winner winner!

Each day

Think this could have been better but I need to get the eldest out of bed and go to the tip…Happy Monday!

I tore the pages from the book

that holds the story of our lives

of darker times that might have been

and in their place I wrote these words

my promises to you.

Not to forget each day to live

and love and laugh and treasures mine

to hold most dear and know their worth

and thanks with grateful heart I give

all that I have to you.

When sunset paints with flames of red

the words we wrote on pristine page

We loved though time will pass us by

as stories gather dust upon

life’s shelf where now we lay.

Time and time again, no more

Words and more words and more words still…

Silver wisps of memories

The things that once so brightly shone

Now gone but one alone remains

Which fight the pull of time, refrains

From slipping through soft fingers

Clasped in prayer, in silence lingers

On that vision of her beauty, sweet

Her countenance so kind and meek

And one last time her forehead kisses

Always misses all they were and sunset burns

Like furnace flames

He smiles

And says goodbye

Corona Lock down Diaries – 3D Printing – Christmas thingymajig.

We isolate now so that when we gather again no one is missing…

Okay so I’m not technically locked down. Well not like I was before. That said I might be I really have no idea and find it all rather confusing most days so choose for the most part to remain at home where there are snacks and internet and things that don’t try to kill you.

Now I’ve probably not been printing as much as I ought to have and am putting that right presently but I thought I would share with you a little something I printed just today.

Now this is our Christmas tree.

It is a bit random and uncoordinated but that is because almost every bauble and trinket is something special collected over 20 year or so. There are things from before Mrs Afterwards and I were married, various unrecognisable ‘things’ the boys brought home at some point and a wide assortment of pretties we picked up on numerous travels. All lovely memories.

Today I printed this one for 2020. I will paint it gold I think and pop it on the tree tonight…

Screw you 2020!

Personal Pronoun Sex Limerick time.

Apparently that’s now a thing too…

A promiscuous temptress called Brenda

Not especially choosy on Gender

Whether he, she or Eir

Xemself, Hir, Shim – Don’t care

She’s ain’t fussy-  just wants sensual splendour

________________

I don’t think I’m ignorant, perhaps a little sheltered and middle aged white man and all that…I just honestly had no idea…read it for yourself…

gender pronouns – Bing images

My ongoing journey of calorie deficit and intermittent fasting

Manboobs, Sexy Pokemon and Sage Advice

So I am now about 7 months in and surprisingly pretty much still at it. That in itself is a huge surprise but I think something is seeping into my consciousness that tells me when I’m stuffing too much into my face or eating outside of the windows I have set for myself.

The weight loss is not as rapid as it once was and I did stall for a while but that was because I was eating too much and not moving enough. it’s pretty simple stuff but my goodness it’s hard when the Great British bake Off is on TV and I feel compelled to bake. And who knew that eating an entire cake would mean you wouldn’t lose weight that week. Shocking.

The fasting is probably easier than the calorie control, I mean what is so hard about not eating right. I say that tongue in cheek. Or cake in cheek. My biggest challenge is accidentally eating whilst I am making the boys lunches for school or perhaps making snacks and stuff. Quite often I will have a mouth full of something before I even realise.

And then there are those moments of ‘I don’t care I have tried hard for so long I am eating a handful of cake and then some ham with horse radish sauce on it at midnight.” That usually follows the “I wont eat much today as am going to have a bottle of wine later as it has been a long week” stage.

The “Oh well, tomorrow will be better” phase tends to be next to follow…

I have a full health scan in a few weeks so will be interesting to see how that pans out. I am hoping my blood pressure is looking better and I might treat myself to a prostate examination to celebrate! Kidding. 😉

Anyway, so this is 7 months apart and about 50lbs down. Mostly though just looks like I shaved 🙂

Theodore Rufus Doggington the 1st – Part Deux

or Teddy for short…

You can read Theo’s introduction here.

So…I’ve had him for about 5 weeks. How’s it going?

You know, I think I quite like being a dog owner. Or perhaps I like my dog. Either way, it’s been a pretty pleasant experience so far. We spend most of our time together given that I am working from home so I have had chance to put time into training him which means Ive been able to house train him with less than a dozen accidents (pee only) and he has also been sleeping all night so that’s some key boxes ticked.

He’s had his jabs now so from yesterday he can also go out for walks. That has been less successful but I just need to get him used to traffic and stuff. Nothing major to worry about. Equally, hes still a bit bitey but so much less than he was. He seems to have a thing for Mrs Afterwards’ feet which whilst funny is also dangerous as no one should touch her feet. Ever. The kids thought I was joking once and tried to tickle them and we nearly had to put them up for adoption afterwards.
What has amazed me is how much he has grown. He has literally doubled in size in a month. I mean how is that even possible. He’s putting on weight faster than me in lockdown which is quite something indeed!

I have an experiment I am going to be posting about which is going to explore that a little more, keep an eye out for it trust me it’s some serious scientific stuff for sure!

I will admit that I didn’t think that I would like him as much as I do, but as Mrs afterwards’ keeps telling me, there is no love like that of a grumpy old man and the dog he did not want.

With Christmas on the way and lockdown easing a little bit here I am looking forward to seeing what the next month holds for us both. Should be fun.

Eat my big fat get well soon election limerick

Do it. You know you want to.

Heard you’ve probably lost an election

And it’s years since you’ve had an erection

And your kids are all shits

And your empires in bits

Hope you die from a nasty infection

Mostly Ive avoided politics and Donald the last few years but just a little something for him. You don’t like it? You’re a fan of him? Please unfollow me. Really. Bye.

Screw you haiku

Canine shenannigans

Garden flourishing

Vile canine defecator

Rockery shitter

…..

So you know I got me a hound right? Well if not I did. Gorgeous little lab. Anyway, turns out despite having plenty of places to relieve himself he has become obsessed with befouling my beautiful lockdown rockery I worked so hard at.

This lovely little bouncing befouler seems hell bent on declining the offer of a whole selection of suitable defecation options in favour of besmirching my succulents.

Were working through it and I am not quite sure who will win to be honest. He already massacred one of my delicate alpines in a most upsetting manner after he had a few too many treats which agitated his tummy so 1-0 to him I guess.

On the upside though I did discover a hidden benefit of dog ownership when I got to the shop without a mask. Three poo bags tied around my head did the job nicely. Down side though was that I nearly bloody suffocated for the sake of toilet roll and a sliced loaf.

Happy days

Out in the van – Knaresborough

Knaresbrough

Its been a funny old year hasn’t it. The van was mostly parked up for the duration as we navigated our way through lockdown and covid restrictions, site closures and utilising the van as storage whilst our house renovations dragged on.

The sum total of all of those distractions and excuses has resulted in us only getting the van out today. Like now. This very moment. Obviously if you dont read this on the 17th of October 2020 Im likely not right here, right now.

Im currently on a site in Knaresboroughin North yorkshire drinking a rather nice south African Sauvignon Blanc with the intentions of watching rugby on TV, ordering take away and doing nothing else.

The boys are here with me and they are happily settled in doing whatever they do and not in the slightest interested in going for a walk or seeing a bit of nature. Given were only here for one night I don’t really mind…its just nice to have a change of scenery.

Oh and obviously the highlight of amy camping trip is to prefix caravan names with ‘anal”. Try it with the photos below. Such filthy fun.

Stay safe my lovelies…