Early night? Yes please
but lo! The 3am curse
damned old mans bladder
Welcome to July.
Alas it will be more of the same this month 🙂
Tag: silly
One to tut and eye roll at
All a little bit inappropriate really.
Once a well endowed lad from Aruba
met a lass kind of shaped like a tuba
she winced at sight of it
but turned out a great fit
and not once has he had cause to lube her
Oh dear
Should have gone to Spec Savers.
across crowded room
attraction and nice from far
close up far from nice
Just another limerick
AABBA. You know the drill.
Once a woman with high expectation
of a future mate and social station
though things didn’t work out
shoved cocaine up her snout
ended up selling ass at the station
That’ll teach him right…
That’ll sting a bit
Once a fellow somewhat of a sceptic
when his girlfriend said she’s epileptic
well he ended up dead
had a fit giving head
bit it off, got infected, quite septic
Oh well that’s just lovely
Living the dream now people, living the dream. Abominable I realise. But amost true.
Hey you said he’d not win the election
locking kids up gives him an erection
which he’ll force on your Gran
sister, aunties or Mam
build a dead migrant wall for protection
A quick haiku
Almost a proper one…soooo close.
Summer crowns the day
and lush the earth green laid bare
Great, best mow AGAIN
Jiggly
shake it like a polaroid picture
There once was a wife, sweet Theresa
who alas was quite prone to a seizure
Though sometimes during sex
he’d not know what was next
she’d vibrate, hub would squeal, a real pleaser!
Haiku perhaps?
Let’s continue the summer theme shall we. There are some sights out there to be seen for sure.
Soaring temperatures
drunk shirtless methodone tramps
all the girls bits out
Today I did actually see what appeared to be a shirtless methadone tramp. I think he had maybe lost his shirt though or left it in a dumpster because it didn’t seem to be about his person. Curiously he also had one trouser leg rolled up to the knee whilst he wore the other in the more traditional fashion.
How do I know he was on something? Well I don’t and I might be super judgy but I think walking down the middle of the road whispering to himself whilst staring wildly at passers by was a bit of a give away.
Still, I’m sure it was lovely to feel the sun on his back as he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the fine weather we are having.
On the matter of flesh well, you just head down to the market here and you’ll see what I am on about. Whilst I am all for body positivity whatever your shape or size that doesn’t mean I support adults wearing childrens clothes to go and eat sausage rolls on a bench outside of the bookies.
😉
Scorchio
I think this might be summer. Not seen many ever so they’re a rare old thing.
Seems whenever I go out the sun’s shining
has me grumpy and sweaty and pining
for the end of the summer
all this sun is a bummer
when it’s cold though you know I’ll be whining.
A late night limerick
Well it’s late night here…or was.
There once was a vet from Manilla
fell in love with an 8Ft Gorilla
found it ever so grand
silver coat and big hands
things it did with bananas would thrill her
It happens
It was from the sink I swear
Urinal splashback
onto beige linen trousers
Groin to hand dryer
Oh the horror. They’re doing what??
and at their age…
chap refused to lave home – a grown man
so his parents came up with a plan
they would shag really loud
bring round the swinging crowd
and on Fridays his grandad and gran
More of the same really
This could well be true
Donald said “I know what will be beautiful
and a way to make cash indisputable
COMING SOON TO THE STAGE
CRYING KIDS IN A CAGE!
well make millions – Immigrants – THE MUSICAL!”
A haiku.
It is bloody warm here today and it was not wise to do a load of gardening.
everything sweaty
cant stand to be near myself
making myself gag
Hooray for Monday
Shall we?
A religious perv hailing from Gent
gave up masturbating for lent
lasting ’till the first morn
he succumbed to the porn
by eleven was rather quite spent
What a horrible cow
You’re entitled to disagree but you’re wrong.
Once a pimpernel Flotus quite chic
In her coat – meant no harm – god that’s weak
Is she really that thick?
She did marry that prick
seems they all have that vicious cruel streak
We all know the type
A lesson to be learned methinks…
Well off friend of mine met this lass Daiy
a real gold digger, frightfully lazy
she would spend all his stack
weekly empty his sack
said he loves her I said “Mate you’re crazy!”
Haiku perhaps?
mmmm robbery
day two of diet
would mug a child for sweeties
stab a tramp for cake
True story
Ok not really…Honest
Lass I know back in school – Afrikaaner
could do quite awesome things with banana
they would make your eyes water
really not sure who taught her
if her mother knew it would alarm her
Limerick?
Just the one it won’t hurt.
A quite ravenous chap from Burundi
Gorged on pastries most weekdays bar Monday
when he’d feast on pork chops
steaks, pies chips and roll-mops
and leftovers he’d kept from last Sunday
Tighter damn it
Ooh yeah that it!
Once a cross dressing fellow from Dorset
thought he looked really great in a corset
It gave shape to his hips
Gave his bosom a lift
“make it tighter” he cried “really force it”
Oh that sounds frightful you poor lamb
Hope you feel better soon.
Oh you poor little fellow, so sad
heard you piercing’s infected quite bad
and it’s likely you’ll lose it
lesson learned, don’t abuse it
how you’ll miss what you lost that you had
All hail the chief
Lord of all he surveys
Don, king of ‘Murca
Hands on hips legs akimbo
Knee deep in orphans
Ooh silky….
So good on your skin
A large fellow who thought “well alrighty”
When alone would slip on his wife’s nighty
Loved the soft silken feel
Made him quiver and squeal
Lace clad 300 pounds, most unsightly
Afterwards 