Tag: life

Monday Limericks

Need a get well soon limerick? Look no further…

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects.  What do you reckon?

Saw your dad, says you’re suffering a spell

raging fever and sweaty as hell

spent all day on the loo

from both ends, as you do

hope you’re soon on the mend and quite well

 

You’ve a rash and the pustules are welling

and a discharge that’s green and now smelling

Maybe go see a nurse

‘fore it gets any worse

could explode if it carries on swelling

 

 

 

 

Want to read more of my stuff?  No.  Don’t blame you, no offence taken.

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/29/a-collection-of-miserable-limericks/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/probing-a-cautionary-tale/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/homage/

 

 

 

 

Gross Saturday Limericks

Need a limerick for someone with a nasty discharge? I got your back…

Today, I pay tribute (or a homage if you will) to those that have suffered at the hands of this cruel cruel world.  

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects.  What do you reckon?

Stay in bed as I know you’re unwell

there’s a discharge, a rash – must be hell

get some shots, you’ll be fine

it will heal up in time

and perhaps it will no longer smell

 

Oh poor poppit I hope you’re less sick

as the discharge, I believe, is quite thick

hope the swelling goes down

and it’s no longer brown

and it’s no longer oozing, quite slick

 

Heard you caught something nasty my friend

take your pills you’ll be soon on the mend

next time just be aware

take precautions and care

cos it seeping and all red at the end

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to read more of my stuff?  No.  Don’t blame you, no offence taken.

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/29/a-collection-of-miserable-limericks/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/probing-a-cautionary-tale/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/homage/

 

 

 

 

Limericks. Again.

No apologies, they make me happy.

Today, I pay tribute (or a homage if you will) to those that have suffered at the hands of this cruel cruel world.  

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects.  What do you reckon?

 

A financier born in Sri Lanka

Who wrote poems, quite odd for a banker

he would take such delight

in his form oh so tight

how he revelled in Haiku and Tanka

 

There once lived a farmer called Phil

bought a bride on the web from Brazil

when she landed such shock

massive balls and a cock

it worked out though, shes hung, what a thrill

 

There once was a Vicar from Cannes

who when drunk went to bed with a man

Hes now happy it seems

with the man of his dreams

left the church, toured the world in a van

 

Okay lousy last line there but I wanted them to have a happy ending.  

 

 

 

Want to read more of my stuff?  No.  Don’t blame you, no offence taken.

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/29/a-collection-of-miserable-limericks/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/probing-a-cautionary-tale/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/homage/

 

 

 

 

Well that’s just super…

Kids. Honestly.

My dear children

I want the best for you but…

some days you are thick

Sorry thats the best I can do.   It is ten to ten and the eldest just told me he needs 6 sheets of filo, ricotta and spring onions for school tomorrow.  I want nothing more to shout and protest and stomp my feet as I was about to get in bed after this post but now I am off to the Tesco just up the road.  If they dont have it then I am going to the store in the next town.  But that’s ok right because I am an awesome dad.

I don’t feel it, I want to make him get dressed and go himself.  Oh, did I mention it’s snowing?  Yeah.  Loads.  Id happily watch him drag his forgetful arse out in a blizzard and drive behind him shouting valuable life lessons out the window.

I can just imagine his snow chilled little face pleading to get in the car as I bellow instructions about how to put up a shelf an how to make a good first impression.

What is more annoying though is that I knew it was food tech tomorrow and forgot to check what he needs.  So really I need to shout at myself.  But I am way past learning.

Stupid idiots the lot of us.  Right, where are my clothes I better get dressed again.

 

More stuff from my brain meat…

Charlie’s Journey – OWPC Challenge

Deep and insightfully insightfulnessness

I tried to say goodbye.

 

Even more limericks on sombre topics.

Proof perhaps that a limerick can make even the darkest of topics more pleasant…

Today, I pay tribute (or a homage if you will) to those that have suffered at the hands of this cruel cruel world.  

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects.  What do you reckon?

There once was a vet born in France

Gerbils caused quite a stir in his pants

Rabbits caused a cold sweat

And his trousers got wet

Fondles hamsters if hes given chance

 

Once a husband caught aids from a hooker

quite infected but still quite a looker

gave his wife it, she died

and their graves the kids cried

On his gravestone it read, “What a Fucker”

 

Want to read more of my stuff?  No.  Don’t blame you, no offence taken.

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/29/a-collection-of-miserable-limericks/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/probing-a-cautionary-tale/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/homage/

 

 

 

 

Screw you haiku 16 Jan 2017

Feel the balance baby!

 

Monday curry night

Bravado demands more heat

Hot toilet regrets

 

The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much.  Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous.

 

More stuff from my brain meat…

Charlie’s Journey – OWPC Challenge

Deep and insightfully insightfulnessness

I tried to say goodbye.

 

Even more limericks on sombre topics.

Proof perhaps that a limerick can make even the darkest of topics more pleasant…

Today, I pay tribute (or a homage if you will) to those that have suffered at the hands of this cruel cruel world.  

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects.  What do you reckon?

 

There once was a man from gelong

Who enjoyed to put on his wife’s thong

Slipped and fell, it’s no laugh

Cut his balls clean in half

now soprano at church sing along

 

A young fellow caught wifey in bed

with a big burly fellow called Ted

Who was quite well endowed

and incredibly proud

Took the house, car and both kids instead

 

Once a vicar who rather liked kids

and confessed of the bad things he did

seems that’s all that it takes

when you make big mistakes

guaranteed by the church to keep hid

 

Want to read more of my stuff?  No.  Don’t blame you, no offence taken.

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/29/a-collection-of-miserable-limericks/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/probing-a-cautionary-tale/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/

https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/homage/

 

 

 

 

Screw you haiku 15 Jan 2017

Feel the balance baby!

Sweet scent of young love

In full bloom, unwatered

withers to nothing

see I can kinda do a normal one…

 

smile creeps across face

others wear mask of disgust

each loves his own farts

 

Aah that’s better.  A little balance restored to the force…

 

The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much.  Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous.

 

More stuff from my brain meat…

Charlie’s Journey – OWPC Challenge

Deep and insightfully insightfulnessness

I tried to say goodbye.

 

A thought…

Think I need an early night

 

Okay so not so much a thought as the culmination of many thoughts.  Arguments aside over exactly what the best phone is I recently bought me eldest the New Samsung on the basis that he promised to stay off of social media.  Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and whatever else I may choose to broadly lump into that category.  I will then, every couple of years, upgrade him to the newest handset assuming he has stayed off it all.

He happily agreed, and whilst in the future he may not, for now I think it is something worthwhile because I am pretty convinced that the damage done by social media outweighs the benefits.  There will be studies I am sure, but I am not basing it on them I am basing it on my experience and the pressure it puts on people and the need to broadcast ones life click by click.

There is an irony in blogging about this I am sure, and my blogs do post to twitter, but it is something I am happy I did because I think the kids will be better people for it in the long run.  No one needs to know what he had for tea or where he has just checked in to and he does not need to see only the selective best bits of someone elses life to compare his to.

I’d much prefer he simply lives life than spectates…

A thought…

Think I need an early night

That was a long lon g day.  I slept terribly, the cats eventually waking me at 4am after I had stayed up far too late watching ‘Bright’.  The eldest went to a sleepover and went to bed at 4 and the youngest went to bed at 3.  I said he could watch one tv show in his brothers bed before sleep and forgot about him.

He came down to tell us all about the great TV he had watched at 3 rather wired and a little scared about something creepy but I do not recall what.

We were all reunited at lunchtime to head on a couple of hours drive out to the seaside for the afternoon.  We weren’t beyond the end of the street before the younger was crying because of something the other had thrown, the elder professed his hatred for me insisting I should perhaps stop speaking and the wife’s day was already ruined.

I think we just about pulled it back as the day progressed, mostly because the little blighters fell asleep and I heeded the warning I had been given to ‘leave them alone because I just wind them up’.

Families eh 🙂

athought5118

 

 

Time and time again #writephoto

Sue provides the picture, the rest is up to you!

 

Sue provides the picture, the rest is up to you!

I walked past your window today

with it’s sun bleached glass and flaking paint

memories of fingerprints and noses pressed against it

as seasons passed slowly one into the next

 

Laughter long passed into time remembered like yesterday

Words lost like summers past

but clear as day I hear your voice

closing the window and heading in for tea

 

I stand and wait now as I did then

light filtering through roses wild and untended

a warmth like summer sun

from the heart and hearth within

 

and as I walk away I recall too well

how time has taken its toll

but memories live on where we turn to dust

and in our hearts are carried until sunset

 

https://scvincent.com/2018/01/04/thursday-photo-prompt-window-writephoto/

A thought…

seriously…

I know this because, in a bit of a stinking mood, I stopped the car to let an old lady cross the road the other day and she gave me such a beaming smile.  Admittedly, she was going soooo slowly that if I hadn’t then I would probably have killed her but that’s not the point.  Cheered me right up how happy she was and how ridiculously slowly she was walking.  You know, she is probably out there now.  Hmmm.  Oh well, that can be someone else’s good deed..

thoughts4118

 

Out of the blue #writephoto

Just a thought or two on Sue’s photo prompt something that could be the start of something else

 

The cold waters dripped from his body as he stepped slowly towards the shore.    The sunrise peeked through the gathering clouds as he emerged from water to land, the rocks cold and hard beneath his feet.

Standing in the shallows he looked down at himself and then around at the world laid out before him.  All was quiet bar the sound of his breathing and the beating of his heart deep within his chest.  Surrounded by the still waters and unyielding earth he looked to the skies as the first rains began to fall.

He smiled instinctively as the drops of rain started to fall onto his skin, mixing with the waters from the lake, and the noise of rain falling onto the rock and water filled his senses.

Stepping onto the shore he reached down and placed a hand onto a smooth rock, whispered quietly to himself and watched a carpet of dark green grass spread before him dappled with small white flowers.

He smiled again.  There was much to do.

 

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/3193846/posts/1714773044