Lust filed chap bought a doll on the net
So lifelike, it would even get wet
With its well modelled bits
Butt hole, front bum and tits
He declared, “It’s the best you can get!”
Limerick…filthy
Dirty…
Tag: dirty
Yeah screw you too haiku!
Ruining diminutive Japanese poetry one haiku at a time
From lips do words spill
That oft hearts true needs do hide
Revealed over time
4-Some of Saturday night limericks
A bank robber from Toremelinos
stole to get cash for his penis
to enlarge was his wish
but the products are pish
now he’s locked up in jail with men, heinous
‘My Friend’ watches far too much telly
middle aged, double chins and round belly
legs and arms got quite thick
now he can’t see his dick
and his man boobs they jiggle like jelly
A husband one day proclaimed dead
seems his wife shot him right through the head
on his phone saw a text
“Banged your sister, you’re next!”
really made quite a mess of the bed
Farmers wife with a craving for men
got caught cheating again and again
hub quite angry threw fits
then he chopped her to bits
fed her parts to the pigs in his pen
Unnecessary limericks
Another day another limerick
A serial killer called Ned
Obeyed voices that screamed in his head
Then one day he just changed
And is no more deranged
Now writes food blogs on WordPress instead
A limerick to start off your Saturday
Choo-choo
Kinky chap with a train Fascination
Loved the ride and the smooth Undulation
Was a wonderful perk
Should the train shake and jerk
As it aided his wild masturbation
Limerick time. Men.
A love addled fellow called Victor
Knew this lass, in his dreams kissed and licked her
But she flatly refused
To be courted or woo’d
So alone, wanks to her facebook picture
Wtf did I do
Heavens…look at those
Turns out I’ve done a one pretty freaky drawings over the years. These were in an old post.
I feel kinda proud.
Limerick time!
Ny what a big…er…hole you have…
A promiscuous lass from Aruba
Who’s vagina was shaped like a tuba
Massive labia, so wide
Men would rattle inside
on the plus side, you don’t have to lube her
Accidental incest limerick. Enjoy.
No wonder he looked so familiar
Once a girl found a boy like no other
Loved him so, wanted to be a mother
Kid was born with three legs
Fifty teeth like clothes pegs
Seems alas he was her long lost brother
The limericks I don’t usually publish
Move along, nothing to see and certainly not for kids.
For every limerick I write there is usually another I discard because it is inappropriate, childish, vulgar, twisted or just not the sort of things I would want my kids to stumble upon.
Today I will publish a few because I am in the sort of mood, and it’s the weekend and what are weekends for if not inappropriate limericks. I had something of a request for more erotic asphyxiation stuff earlier this week. I know I know, but there’s no accounting for the tastes of people.
A conservative preacher, John Stead
Man of god but quite kinky in bed
by the cleaner discovered
bound, naked and buggered
Purple faced, plastic bag on his head
A plumber from Goole well endowed
love to take off his clothes in a crowd
and the ladies he’d please
as it hung to his knees
hand on hips, legs akimbo, so proud
A vicar from Grimsby most hated
spent a celibate life most frustrated
unless you count the young boys
who he used as his toys
’till they caught him and now hes castrated
Something more pleasant?
Ooh look at me being all topical!
Fences – FFfAW Challenge – 11th of July
photo courtesy of hypnoart at pixabay
On placing veg in your bottom.
This just slipped out…next post will be more grown up promise
A chap from school who Id forgotten
got a vegetable lodged in his bottom
But he chose to do nowt
And it simply dripped out
A week later when it had gone rotten
OK…thats enough posts for today. Just needed to get that out before I forgot it. Seem to be on a roll.
Afterwards 