Aah that feels better. Not a mention of the seasons or little golden leaf boats or winters icy fingers…
The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much. Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous. Oh, and I know they’re probably Senryu. I struggle with boundaries a bit.
Took her on a date
She blew her nose, made me gag
Think she’s still single
All a bit wrong
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Chap I know met this lass on the net
Got him hot and into quite a sweat
The reveal was a shock
Turned out she had a cock
(And some big hairy balls I would bet
slowly easing myself back into senryu and haiku of a more ridiculous kind.
The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much. Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous. Oh, and I know they’re probably Senryu. I struggle with boundaries a bit.
First time sleepover…
Hes on the spectrum you say?
No hes just a shit
More of the same
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Once a POTUS said “Give them all guns
to the teachers, the kids and the mums
to the poor and the sick
to the old and the thick”
“Oh Bravo” said his NRA chums
Aah that feels better. Not a mention of the seasons or little golden leaf boats or winters icy fingers…
The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much. Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous. Oh, and I know they’re probably Senryu. I struggle with boundaries a bit.
He turns from his wife
She cries into her pillow
Turns out he liked men
A real who dunnit…
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Once a widow in black at the grave
For her husband did cry, being brave
But when home she’d rejoice
At the fear in his voice
When with candle his head she did stave
slowly easing myself back into senryu and haiku of a more ridiculous kind.
The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much. Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous. Oh, and I know they’re probably Senryu. I struggle with boundaries a bit.
Flushed cheeks ,brow sweating
Tears down your cheeks, fire burns
Tikka masala…
A limerick because why not!
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
A fellow rotund, barrel chested
Would snore loudly in bed when he rested
‘till his wife cracked and screamed
Bashed his head as he dreamed
She slept soundly in jail when arrested
I feel the normal starting to slip…
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Early signs of spring
Pasty legs and squinting eyes
Greet insipid sun
Another normal haiku. hmmm. Ill do maybe once more tomorrow then that is it
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Golden river boats
Float through crystal clear waters
Signal summers end
More dull limericks
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Verdant green flashes
winter Slowly retreating
Life embryonic
It’s been a while…
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
POTUS fond of cavorting in pee
Banged a porn star, big fan of the V
Then he paid her a sum
Not to speak and keep shtum
That’s the norm in the land of the free
NRA calls for McDOnalds to lead national fight against obesity
Today, the NRA’s Wayne Lapierre hit back at critics who he feels are using the death of countless Americans to guns to deprive him of his second amendment rights to keep a huge stash of assault rifles in the boot of his car just in case things ‘kick off’ next time he goes to Walmart.
Speaking to a crowd of conservative Americans he opened with a short prayer where he asked Jesus to “bless this gathering of real Americans, not the ones that look like they need a good wash” and also beseeches his Lord and Saviour to pour out his mercies on the new AR15 model due out next year because it is “Seriously bad ass and will make America both safer and greater. So safe. So great”
Lapierre, a previously long standing advocate of “thoughts and prayers” in the fight against school massacres, took a standing ovation when he made an impassioned and compelling case for the use of guns to prevent the use of guns.
“Murder in schools?” he insisted, “let’s arm teachers. Murder at Disneyland? No problem, let’s hook up Mickey with some serious stopping power to stop those dirty lefties.”
In a rousing finale he held a baby in his left arm and in his right hand a bone handled desert eagle, and with an American flag lowered behind him and the star spangled banner playing he slowly licked the barrel and proclaimed “Tastes like freedom baby!”
Some deep rambling stuff
My memories will fade one day
my eyes will shine less bright
and into dark I’ll surely slip
but you’ll remain my light
The best of me I hope I gave
My smile, my laugh my frown
from good and bad, your path I shaped
you’res the thing’s I’ve handed down
Your hand I help, your head I kissed
scraped knee and fever soothed
beside your bed all night I sat
a heart once hard so moved
And seasons pass, I watch and smile
you clamber, fight and strive
too quick to run before you walk
eyes bright and so alive
Each year that passes I embrace
such change and watch you grow
my hand let go you walk alone
and deep inside I know
Too soon my time will surely pass
alone you’ll be but find
your joy and hope and always feel
the love we leave behind
Another haiku a bit like the adults write
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Stubbon she lingers
her wary welcome outstayed
winter, guest be gone
A limerick about Andy’s rather dirty wife
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Once in Rhyll lived a plumber called Andy
had a wife who when drunk got quite randy
she was game, full of wine
and on beer quite devine
but my god what a tramp when on brandy
An attempt at a proper haiku
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Chilled bones slowly creak
Frosty fingers grasp my throat
winters icy grip
Just a little silliness in this sea of seriousness
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Friend of mine met a woman called Wendy
who he claimed was incredibly bendy
to applause, whoops and cheers
legs tucked behind her ears
Oh my god! The photos he once sent me
I did an online food order and the delivery came with a free ginger bread man/woman/person
Androgynous baked golden creation
smiling, painted and lifeless . Tempting me.
a single bite I crave, perhaps a leg
or two
Soft on my lips
warm on my tongue
sweet and spiced welcomed into my mouth
just one bite more.
but not the face
with your plastered on smile and dead eyes
neat little jacket between my teeth
I gobble you down
and deny you ever existed…
Just the one…
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
There once was a fellow from Crete
had a quite kinky craving for feet
how he craved toes and heels
cos it gave him sex feels
and the odour he loved, oh so sweet
An attempt at a proper haiku
This week I am having a crack at not being weird and odd when it comes to my itsy bitsy japanese poems.
Wind through the tree tops
Gate ajar banging all night
land swept clean at dawn
Did yo know there are more rules than just the 5/7/5? Oh yeah there are tons of the chuffing things like:
She watches, he, a picture of his father
beautiful and flawed
forever and always in her heart
protected, loved , adored
She watches, he, a picture of his father
beautiful and flawed
forever and always in her heart
protected, loved , adored
A world awaits, alone she prepares
first steps, first words, forehead kissed
hand held, knee scraped tears wiped
he – birthdays, Christmas missed
Held tight she wishes a life far more
than she can ever give
love overflows, it’s all she has
to pave his way to live
And seasons pass, she watches
he grows, eyes bright, unknowing
not realising what he does not have
the scars hidden, unshowing
Such pride she wears on tear worn face
a life surrendered without regret
to see him grow from boy to man
though her heart cannot forget
the life now passed her by, in days
each lived but not her own
freely given yet taken too
by the man he has not known
Not what it seems I assure you.
I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?
Once a fellow from Afghanistan…
Okay so I have failed tonight. I tried a couple of places right and ended up choosing Afghanistan, and Tehran and Pakistan thinking I would go a little further afield. As a second line though, no matter how hard I tried all I could think of was these people packing their families up into a van. No matter where I tried to go these poor buggers ended up squashed in the rear of an old battered pickup.
They weren’t going anywhere nice though, not on a holiday or anything. They weren’t even going to the shops to pick up some of whatever people would go to the shops to buy in Afghanistan. Probably toilet roll and crisps like everyone everywhere else on the planet.
No, I had them in a van, accompanied by a goat doing their damnedest to not be where they were. What do I know about these places I then ask myself. Not enough probably – they might be perfectly happy in Tehran shopping for magazines and orange cordial and pillows.
I get I can be ignorant, I suppose we all can be. I might have to do a bit of research and then – if it turns out I was right – then I will happily pack them into a van and have my way with them.
Let’s try a little serious shall we…
Okay so I piss about a bit with my blog I realise. If my poems had a ‘Eeeeuuuwww button’ then I am pretty sure it would get pressed more than my likes. I was challenged by Roda – I think that’s what happened – to try a happy ending or two so for this week I will have a crack at a few more pleasant subjects.
At Days close he waits content
to say goodbye and drift to night
and in those moments years rolled back
warm smiles and joy and eyes shine bright
Her warm embrace and tender kiss
and babies cries and laughter sweet
when blankets laid across his knees
worn eyes do close and visions greet
First words, first steps, first dates first kiss
long days dark nights but then
he sees her face and hears her voice
and love’s restored again
And as he slips to dark and rest
a life well lived he sees
of family, love and heart and hearth
life passing like the breeze
And in that moment vivid, clear
old lips whisper and say
each day a treasure I received
farewell, on this last day
A piece where I mention turkey wattle in an inappropriate way
As a balance to the inevitable avalanche of love and tenderness spewing into your WordPress feed this week I bring you these.
Heart beating, mouth dry
knotted stomach, hands trembling
Love? Food poisoning?
Afterwards 