Come on you lot follow Linda and get on board with this 🙂
A few of my fellow bloggers and I have been lamenting the fact that we haven’t spent as much time on WordPress lately because life has gotten in the way. We just can’t seem to write or read as many posts as we’d like. It seems that none of us wants to give in to […]
via So, I Was Thinking… — Everyone Else Has the Best Titles
And the 17 sylabbled horse you rode in on.
Loves young tendrils grow
each moment ever closer
And hearts do entwine
Don’t tell me you don’t relate…Winky face …
Sweet tender kisses
And until dawn do linger
Sunrise truth reveals
The circle of life!
New year new me
New me much like the old me
Sod it why bother
Sometimes I wish I could draw because when i was doing this I suddenly imagined a man on the toilet offering a huge hot dog up in tribute very much in the style of the beginning of the lion king.
Why?
Well to evoke thoughts of the circle of life an all that kind of thing of course. Surely that makes sense…
Hmm maybe I could add a crocodile,…
Yeah now I’m feeling it. Ooh how about a bat. Bats are animals.
Oh yes…Fuck you Elton John.
Hakuna Matata!!
Brrrrr
Winter’s icy sting
Frosted flowers glistening
Pale insipid sun
I think I speak to you lot more than I do to my Mrs!
About 18 months ago I started this blog with some trepidation. I had no idea what to expect and how it would be received, and beyond that first post I had little idea what I wanted to say.
This is my 1500th post since then…
It has been an odd journey so far, and most enjoyable, and in many ways I feel like I have only just started. There have been ups and downs, good months and bad, but every day I have found it to be a rewarding and fabulous experience.
I have met some wonderful people along the way who have inspired and entertained me and there are many who I look forward to visiting and who’s visits I enojoy immensely. You really have no idea what you’re going to find in the blogosphere which is part of the fun I think.
From a creativity perspective I think I am still workign on where I want to go. I love my limericks and my non-haiku, and anything that will entertain and delight and whilt that is mostly all I seem to be posting right now but I have also written so many stories and tales that I have surprised myself with what I had rattling around in my head. The nature of what I have shared has surprised me too, and even now I am still uncertain of where I want thigns to go but I am not worrying about it particularly and simply wish to enjoy wherever it taks me.
I think this year could be even better from a creativity perspective and I will endeavour to share as much as I can and I look forward ot meeting more of you and getting to know you even better.
Thanks for all your support!
Michael
Oh and if you’re interested in stats…
And screw you resolutions
January first
Excited, much change ahead
Renewed potential
I rather like what sarah did here…:)
That all went a bit weird
Basks in summer rays
Like oak turns with seasons end
Into autumn gold
I did the drawing below and I was going for this idea of a chap on the beach lookign all goldenand tanned but it just looks like a big man baby wearing a nappy from one of those fetish films I have never accidentally watched late at night and then spent hours down a dark and nasty internet rabbit hole.
You’re mistaking me for someone else.
Actually thats close to something almost normal…
Destined, sweet embrace
Two hearts entwined eternal
Love transcending time
Amazon takes care of all your condiment needs.
For those Amazon users amongst you will be quite familiar with how it likes to offer you suggestions on purchases that compliment the things you may have just bought. For example, you might purchase a pair of sunglasses and it will intuitively suggest that you might also like some sun cream based upon the purchases of previpous shoppers.
Anyway so today I decided to dabble a little and placed an order for a variety of items that they will deliver each month for me. Cat food, washing powder, loo roll. The sort of heavy or bulky stuff that makes my grocery shop easier and I dont mind having extra of if I don’t use it all. I then thought I would also order some soap as I want to use that instead of shower gel because of all of plastic bottles we end up using. Doing my bit for the planet and all that.
So I proceed to check out and Amazon kindly offers me a suggestion of a complimentary purchase based upon me wanting to bulk buy 18 bars of Dove soap. I know you want me to get to the point and I will but I’m going to continue the build up here a little. I could make you guess couldn’t I, and you’d perhaps suggest shampoo or a nice loofer and if you did you would be most wrong.
No. There was nothing of a sanitary nature at all. Seems that according to Amazon that people who buy soap also often purchase mayonnaise.
Mayonnaise? I shit you not.
This obviouly triggers me and I am thinking of all the things one might do with mayo that would mean you needed a jolly good wash afterwards. There was the usual spreading and licking at first but then I got distracted by the thought of it being in a jar perhaps and at that point you’re going to need a spoon to get it out and I’m just not sure many men could pull off standing naked at the foot of the bed, legs akimbo, spoon in one hand and mayo in the other. Unless you forego the spoon and just dip your…Actually no I just dont think it has the consistency of a sensual food and youd end up looking like you had some sort of creamy fungal growth and then it would drip onto the carpet and if it’s the good stuff made with oil then it’s probably going to need wiping up sharpish and at that pouint flacidity kicks in and I dont think there could be many sadder sights than a balding fat man with a flacid cock covered in mayo while the mrs berates him for making a mess of the nice new bedroom rug.
Then again I suppose I could ask the wife to position a nice Turkey leg betwixt her bosoms and let me dollop a load on it.
Or maybe not. Anyway, to prove I am not lying see below…
Long Distance love
Loves longing embrace
Heart desires sweet union
like wine on red lips
The post that is not a post.
M has served up another delicious portion of prompts for January over here. This is in response to: “Milky white peaks charmed their senses..”
Okay so I started this but stopped because mostly it just made me sound like a perverted 15 year old.
I figured milky white peaks would be a fantastic name for a cowgirl you know, red shequed shirt with a white frill across the front, snug jeans and perhaps some rhinestone boots. She was going to have an ample busom and there would be campfires and horse wrangling and baked beans eaten from a frying pan and oh the tales they would tell of her milky white peaks.
Then I realised that I was just thinking about Dolly Parton and it just felt wrong to write about her millky white peaks because she is like 72 and that is older than my mum and I don’t really want to think of either in any sort of…well just no.
Not that I would think of my mum like that. or Dolly. Good god what is wrong with you people. It was just an age thing…
Anyway…I’ll try again tomorrow and hopefully this whole sordid episode will be behind me by then and I will feel a little less uncomfortable with myself.
Of love and lust and gettign a little bit splooshy
M has served up another delicious portion of prompts for January over here. This is in response to: “Every inch of his body sensed her presence.”
There’d been flirting and longing and deep admiration
he found her enticing, with much admiration
he craved her since day one and felt such frustration
her dark eyes, soft skin, sweet disposition
How he wondered if ever they might be united
a deep hunger he felt, he so often delighted
in sweet flights of fancy his passions ignited
to be with her his greatest ambition
‘Cross the room he did see her and loins burned with fire
watched her play with her hair felt consumed with desire
caught her eye, and she smiled and he melted entire
how he craved her, his secret admission
And quite sudeen she’s there and she smiles, says hello
introduces herself and it so seems to throw
him quite sideways, she laughs says she really must go
“let’s swop numbers’ her sweet proposition
One thing leads to another as things tend to do
text turns to call turns to date and then two
and he knows she’s the one he wants nobody new
time to kiss ‘spite nervous disposition
In the dark of the cinema quirms in his seat
every inch of his body felt presence most sweet
turns to face her she sees him her lips his then greet
warm soft bounty his sweet acquisition
Head and heart swell in her gorgeous embrace
and his body reacts and his pulse quickens pace
and then Sploosh he explodes quite all over the place
cannon-esque, with hot white ammunition
“Oh my word” she exclaims as his face twists in pleasure
and his trousers run thick with his thick baby treasure
and he splutters and coughs one last time for good measure
says he’s sorry with heartfelt contrition
So the moral it seems is to try take it easy
or your trouser will end up quite sticky and greasy
and all thoughts of sweet love be they ever so cheesy
will be spent with pre-mature condition
One day they may stumble upon these.
I was born in Hull on the east coast of England in November of 1971. My mother was one of eight and my father one of three. I was the first grandchild born into what would eventually be a family that numbered somewhere between sixty and seventy, though it is often hard to recall all the names and connections witha family so vast.
The fishing trade was still the heart of Hull and very much at the heart of my mothers side of the family. My mum’s father was a trawlerman as were a number of my older uncles, with my other aunts and uncles only 7 or 8 years older than me. My earliest memories seem to be dominated by that side of the family for some reason and I cannot really recall my fathers side at all or even our own smaller family of just mum, dad and me.
My mother tells me how my grandad and uncle would return from months away at sea and turn out their pockets and invite me to help myself to whatever money they had – which was often a lot. Casting my mind back I can vaguely remember my uncle taking me to the toy store and telling me that I could have whatever I wanted, and I headed home with a blue scooter which had the most fantastic tassles which hung from the handles.
I also remember Queen. No, not the queen but the band. Even now so many of their songs trigger memories or shadows of memories that take me somewhere almost now lost to me.
Memories of coming downstairs at my granparents house and the smell of stale beer and cigarettes are also still quite vivid after more than forty years too. Curiously I can even still see the ash tray on a stand in the middle of the floor with the push top opening mechanism that I was often told to leave alone.
Even before then though I remember being in a pram outside a house on the other side of the street looking back across to where my mum’s parents lived on the Greatfield council estate in east Hull. It is quite clear to me still and I described it to my mother, pointing out the actual house when we visited forty years later. She insists surely I could not be rememberin gthat because I was probably only three at the most, but I remain quite certain that I remember it quite clearly even now…
What a year 2018 has been. I thought about not posting a reflection this year, for the first time ever, but I think it’s been a good practice to truly focus on how I’ve grown in my art, online presence, etc.
Colleen the Faery whisperer is the place to go if you want to learn about and enjoy the real craft of poetry forms. This month she beings us a SHADORMA. You can read all about it here and then you can do your own. Give it a go trust me you’ll enjoy it.
It seems to have a 3\5\3\3\7\5 syllable count and this is mine about Gin.
GIN
Juniper
No longer the drink
of old men
trendy, cool
fruit infused
makes me eloquent and fun
’till I pee the bed
She watches him.
Fists clenched and a mouth filled with silent rage.
Scars long healed ache as he thunders, heart black as ink
boney finger point and stinging lies spew from his mouth
with rancid spite and bile.
Flowers long dead cast shadows at the grave of a love long departed.
Another day
another fight
another fist into soft warm flesh.
Words vile and dark fall on deaf ears,
and where once they cast wounds deep now
she simply turns and smiles
closing the door one last time.
Get your new year prompt on!
always a good way to start the year…
Once a hirsuite chap from old Bulgaria
had a lass though he wanted her hairier
arms and legs, butt and back
craved the hair in her crack
in fact liked her to look like a terrier
What a surprise that would have been…
My son turned 14 the other day and he had 7 of his friends over for a sleep over after a trip to the movies and for something to eat. I know, I know, at this point you are already probably shaking your head because yes you are right, it was a bloody stupid idea.
To be fair to them they are a pretty nice bunch of lads but that said they are still 14 year old boys and therefore also a huge pain in the arse. As expected they were loud, they smelled awful and they all think they are most funny when they are not. Even when they were still pissing about at 2 in the morning it was kind of expected so for the most part I just let them be.
The next morning though there was a rather unexpected surprise when I went into my Amazon account to order a last minute Christmas gift. Seems they had been using the Amazon Alexa search and order functionality to pick up some last minute Christmas gifts themselves.
Below is just part of the Alexa search history and the item I found awaiting my check out.
Well at least the wife says it was them…
Such thoughtful boys…
Next up, new year!
Christmas day comes at last to an end
dad’s been racist, your sis banged your friend
Grandad’s shit in his bed
“Gifts were garbage!” kids said
it was great though, let’s all just pretend
Excuse the typo, I can’t be bothered to redo it…
When one becomes two
and two becomes too many
and judgement impaired
And a pear martini in a pear tree…
It’s a slippery slope this Christmas period when it comes to dieting. If the scales are to believe then cocktails are the most calorific foodstuff known to mankind.
Now I know I have had a lot in the last few days with a work Christmas night out and a party at our home but it seems the olympic nutritionalists out there are missing a trick because if you want to prepare for a marathon race or the 10000m against a pack of Ethiopians then you need to be preparing by quaffing half a dozed porn star martinis and a jug of woo woo.
You dont need high altitude training if you’re plannign on taking on the Chinese on the high board – you need a chocolate martini and a couple of white russians. Need to have a crack at a couple of bulgarian wrestlers? A purple rain is just the tonic.
I am going to try and do better in the run up to Christmas I really am, but if I slip then you know what I will simply declare that I am in training and watch out Mo Farah, I’m coming for you you skinny bastard!
Be careful this party season
The alcohol flows
HR, busy January
careers ruined
Afterwards 