A carnivore’s forbidden desire

It’s a work of fiction okay, don’t report me!

You should read this first.  I did so enjoy writing it.  Below is quite the opposite and not a single word of it is true.  Ok maybe the frog pasty bit but only that.

 

After much consideration it appears I would perhaps

like to try Koala glazed with cranberries and schnapps

and I’m now perhaps quite tempted by a plate of hamster fillet

just as long as it’s deboned and someone took good care to skin it

 

These days I’m rather ready for a broth made out of Turtle

I would even eat a pokemon, say Pikachu or Squirtle

and I’d not say no pasties filled with vegetables and frog

and my mouth sure starts to slaver at the thought of slow roast dog

 

Ooh a seventies style fondue with small chunks of cat and monkey

and a creamy sauce of gruyere cheese would be ever so funky

and then wash it down with beaver juice fresh squeezed, soda and lime

or a thick stew made with Panda bits would hit the spot each time

 

Then at lunch time there’d be squirrel cakes and sauces thick and tasty

and a wellington with mushrooms and a parrot wrapped in pastry

there’d be volauvents with gold fish tails and budgie infused cider

and a lion steak and hippo cheek and tender side of tiger

 

Oh the banquet of the carnivore holds such delicious treats

mouth watering and quite sublime with most forbidden meats

they care not now for beef or lamb or chicken, goose or pork

to the extreme their pallet’s crave such dark things on their fork.

 

 

Mission Primary Part 4

Somewhere out in the dark of space

These things tend to be short pieces that may or may not be the beginning of something else. Originally they were 101 words only. I’m less strict about that now. They dont always finish, I just like to try and evoke a certain feeling or scene.

I’m going to tie them to M’s prompts this month.  The prompt was “Jumping Jupiter can’t get stupider”.  I didn’t get much further than the idea of Jupiter.  Let’s see if I can continue the story with it.


Part 1 can be found here.  

Part 2 can be found here.

Part 3 can be found here.

 

The Callista’s comms crackled into life as the roar of her huge primary engines fought to steady her descent into orbit around Ganymede.  Saturn’s gravitational pull was massive but if they could land on the moon it would give them the protection they needed to work on replenishing their hydrogen supplies.

“All crew standby for important comms” it ordered.

Henderson sat up in his bunk and reached for his chewing tobacco.  Stuffing a wad into his cheek he banged a fist against the bottom of the bunk above.

“Marcus, wake up” he shouted.  “You’re going to want to hear this.”

Marcus stirred, mumbling incomprehensibly.

“Serious man, wake up.” Henderson barked.

“Okay, okay” Marcus said throwing back his blanket and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.  “I’m awake see. God man how serious can it be after what we just witnessed?”

Henderson chewed slowly before responding.  There are some things you’re never going to forget seeing and what the Callista had just done was one of them.

“They’re going to say it was for the best, you’ll see.  They will have some excuse for what they did but there is no justification for it.  None at all.  You don’t do that to an entire planet you just don’t.”

Marcus jumped down from the top bunk and walked over to the small sink in the corner of the room.

“What do we know man” he said filling a cup with water.  “Things have been messed up for so long now.

“Messed up?” Henderson snapped.  “My god Marcus what we just did goes way beyond just ‘messed up’ surely you see that.”

“Honestly?” said Marcus taking a drink.

“That a question?” Henderson asked.

Marcus put the cup down on the edge of the sink.  He was a tall lean man, about 6 foot 2 with broad shoulders and a narrow waist.  A large green and black tattoo of a snake across his right shoulder seemed to writhe as he moved.

“You know how I feel about Earth” he said, “it’s not my home and they are not my people, I’m a colonial and I’m proud of it.  My allegiance is to my family and my clan and the only reason I’m on this ship is because I need the money.”

“Do you really feel nothing? ” Henderson asked.  He knew Marcus was an off worlder and like so many of his people he hated Earth but even he must feel something, surely.

“Sorry no, I don’t” he said defiantly, pulling out a chair at the small metal table in the middle of the room and sitting down.  The ship lurched suddenly and then, with a roar of the engines , was again steadied.  “Earth have done nothing but steal from us and use us Henderson” he continued, “I almost feel relieved that it’s over.  Things will have to be different now.”

Before Henderson could respond the comms sounded again.

“This is Captain Grenville” it began.  After a lengthy pause it continued.  “Today you witnessed the destruction of our home planet…”

Nonsense

It’s late, I probably shouldn’t have bothered.

Now I ask myself so many times when I see what others do

Would I maybe like to do as they and try those wild things too

Could I dangle like a Christmas bauble bungie cord attached

Though I fear that I would shit my pants and it run all up my back

 

How about I run in Spain with bulls it seems intense for sure

Though I’m fat and old and rather slow and my arse they’d surely gore

And I don’t enjoy paint balling as I did it once, and no

I’m far too big a target and it bloody hurts you know

 

And no to surfing thanks no thanks, I tried it when much younger

as my trunks came off and my arse was filled with sand when I went under

and I have no urge to parachute though I have no fear of flying

it’s the mess you make when the chute don’t work and Im quite averse to dying

 

I’d thank you kindly if you said you’d we’re hiking in the hills

But I’ll just stay home as its full of bears and they give me the chills

Though they’re not as bad as sharks so no with them I’ll not be swimming

Think I’ll skip it and watch Netflix and my nails they do need trimming

Each memory a star

In the dark of night.

At days end when time flies and sun sits low

In crimson skies and blood red stained gives way to black

He thinks of her and years of love come flooding in

From loves first flush to darker days

But always light with golden rays and hope and joy

Illuminate and feeding, green shoots blossom bright

And smiling, eyes closed he embraces

Each vision clear as days gone by and into nothing slow he slips

a burning sun quenched in swirling seas of time

Mission Primary Part 3

“You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.”
-Gary Allan

These things tend to be short pieces that may or may not be the beginning of something else. Originally they were 101 words only. I’m less strict about that now. They dont always finish, I just like to try and evoke a certain feeling or scene.

I’m going to tie them to M’s prompts this month.  The prompt was “The stars stood on standby”.  Mostly it gave me this horrible sense of foreboding so that is where I am letting it take the story which the prompts are dictating to a degree.


Part 1 can be found here.  

Part 2 can be found here.

Stella rolled the smooth white pebble between her fingers as she watched the sea lapping at her feet.   The sky seemed to melt into the grey of the water and it was hard to tell where one started and the other ended.

“So where to now Jess?” she asked not looking up.  “What are we meant to do?”  It would be dark soon and the nights were getting colder.

At 18 Jess was 5 few years older than she was, so her natural instinct was to let her make all the decisions.  Jess had found her scavenging for food in one of the empty houses in the neighbourhood and helped her to bury her parents and had looked after her ever since.

“I’m not really sure Stella” she answered looking up and down the pebbled beach “we probably need somewhere to settle in for a few days to rest up and then work out how we get off planet.”

“You think we need to leave?” Stella answered throwing the pebble into the sea.  “You really don’t think things are going to get better then?”

She really liked Stella, she was a good kid and had been through a lot but despite all the death and destruction things still seemed to surprise her.  Stella envied that about her.

“The Transporters are all shut down and we haven’t seen any sign of Fed forces for weeks now. They’ve abandoned us for sure.  There aren’t even any Fed instructions coming through on the short wave anymore.”

“But why would they leave us Jess” Stella asked looking confused.  “The government are meant to be making everything better.”

“Stella…” her voice trailed away as she looked up at the sky, the clouds parting and stars already visible in the inky black of night.  “Stars Stella” she said pointing.  Jess looked up and smiled.

“Dad knew all about the stars” she said.  “He used to take me up to the observatory in the summer and teach me all about them.”

“Do you know which they are then?” Jess asked.

Stella laughed, “No I just went because it meant I could stay up past bedtime and it was a chance to spend time with him.”

“I think it might be Sirius” Jess said smiling.  “I remember from school that it was the brightest.”

They both stood quietly for a while.  The idea of school and family and a normal life seemed such a distant memory now.

“Are stars supposed to move” Jess asked breaking the silence, the sky now rapidly turning dark.  “Because that really does look like it’s getting bigger”

“Do you think it could be someone coming to rescue us?” Jess asked, her voice filled with hope.

“Maybe sure, why not” said Stella.  “We’re not sick so why wouldn’t they want to help us.”

The light in the sky grew brighter still and was soon surrounded by others and a silhouette began to emerge high in the atmosphere.  The

“That’s no star Stella, that’s a ship of some sort.”  Jess said excited.  It’s pretty high up but it’s definitely a Fed ship.  No one else has anything that big.”  It had been weeks since they had seen anything up in the sky, or on land for that matter and Jess knew a Fed battle ship when she saw one.  They were always on the news a few years ago when they made first contact with the Genaris and everybody thought it was going to be the end of the world.

Jess walked forward as if to try get a better look, the waves lapping at her feet and covering her boots.  “Its huge Jess” she said smiling.  “They surely have room for us” and she began to wave her arms.

Stella laughed.  “Jess, Jess they can’t see us from up there. They’re miles and miles up.”

“Really?”

“Yes” Jess answered.  “But at least they’ve returned and that’s surely a good thing.  She stepped into the shallow surf and took Stella’s hand and squeezed it gently.  “Don’t worry Jess” she said, her voice calm.  “It will all be over soon.”

 

 

ART – Rogue Trooper by Mike Collins

This is a piece I picked up at Thought Bubble in Leeds a couple of years ago.  I think it set me back a hundred pounds and was well worth every penny. Its from the ‘Boneyard’ story line written by Gordon Rennie and illustrated by Mike Collins.

Rogue first appeared in Prog 228 in 1981, created by Gerry Finley-Day and Dave Gibbons he continues to feature to this day.  Such a fan am I that I actually have a Rogue inspired tattoo that I will have to write about sometime.

I just love the piece and how it captures Rogue plus all 3 of his Bio Chip buddies Bag, Helm and Gunner.

Though I continue to search for a Cam Kennedy Rogue to add to my collection they are a rare thing so I shall stick with this wonderful piece until then.

Prog 3 – 12th of March 1988

I have a fair collection of 2000AD progs.  Okay by a fair amount I mean them all, or at least all of the weeklies at least going all the way back to 1977. I didn’t collect them all each week myself and will write more about my acquisition another time but for today I thought I would share Prog3.  Why 3?  Well because I wanted to keep 1 and 2, which featured Dredd for the first time, for another time.

I am no student of these things and cannot truly do justice to the history of this most wonderful work but what I am most happy to do is to share from the huge piles of them scattered around my home.

It was published on the 12th of March 1977 costing 8p, and the stories featured can be seen below.  With a Colour front and back cover and double page middle spread it is still a thing of beauty to hold even today.  It smells amazing too and has lasted so well for something forty years old.  Sadly my copy doesn’t have the ‘Red Alert’ free gift but I don’t really mind, I collect them to read them and am less concerned with condition and such.  Click on the pictures below to take a look.HARLEM HEROES

Featuring Pat Mills’ FLESH, INVASION, M.A.C.H. 1, John Wagner’s Dredd and DAN DARE from Frank Hampson it packed a real punch.  Interesting, at this early stage there was no credit given  with the now familiar credits to artist, writer and letterer only appearing in later progs.

Mission Primary Part 2 – Room 101

These things tend to be short pieces that may or may not be the beginning of something else. Originally they were 101 words only. I’m less strict about that now. They dont always finish, I just like to try and evoke a certain feeling or scene.

I’m going to tie them to M’s prompts this month.  The prompt was “Chewing Chewbacco” which had me thinking about Star Wars obviously but more the type of American you see in folms that so enjoys stuffing a wad of the stuff in his cheek and chewing and spitting the vile black filth back out.  This had me thinking about cowboys and then engineers and then suddenly the piece below emerged.


Part 1 can be found here.  

The Callista rounded the moon slowly, the shadow of her massive bulk creeping across it’s surface as her primary engines exploded into life and propelled her towards earth.  Henderson steadied himself against one of the huge fuel lines and stared out into space, wiping his hands on the rag he kept in his belt and spitting a mouth full of thick black tobacco onto the service deck.

“You boys ready for this?” he asked to anyone willing to listen.  “You know what this is right?”  No one looked up.  Henderson was always spouting off about one conspiracy theory or another.

“This is then end boys, I’m telling you” he continued.  “Rumour is that it’s now spread so far that they need to frag the whole damn planet to stop it.”

“Shut the hell up Henderson” Franks barked back looking out from under the Interceptor he was working on.  “Some of us still have people down there.  There is just no way the brass would do that.”

“I’m telling you” Henderson answered spitting again and wiping his mouth on his sleeve.  “Last few weeks have seen all Fed troops recalled.  You saw how many ships there were dark side.  The whole fleet has puled back.”

Something about his words rang true.  “You really think?” Franks asked sliding out and getting to his feet.  He walked across to where Henderson stood.

“Afraid so man” he answered.  “Seems pretty obvious to me, just look at what a mess it is down there.  They can’t stop the spread and now they’re worried about it getting off world.”  He paused waiting for his words to sink in, he did love an audience.

Franks rubbed his chin.  “Shit man, my cousin is still in Singapore working on the docks there.”

“They already had to shut down the dimensional transporters planet wide when the Washington site was over run, there’s no way they can risk it reaching the colonies.”

Turning to look out across the deck towards where the earth could be seen through the launch bay Franks felt Henderson stood next to him.  It was oddly reassuring. “You really think they’ll frag the whole thing?” he asked.

Henderson put a hand on his shoulder.  “We’ll know soon enough.”

Whimsy

6 lines of words

Wistful she sits, her heart another’s and lost in fractured thought

to places far and wide she wanders in search of life and love and more

while heavy the bonds of obligation lie and soul so sadly smothered

and then behind her came a tiger and ate her face off and she was dead.


 

Sorry but I just saw the photo and it made me laugh.  I am sure she is meant to be all pensive and comtemplative but really, there is a big frigging tiger behind her and she is a slip of a lass and barefoot so there is no way she will either fight it off or outrun it.

Maybe she’s thinking “Oh bollocks a tiger…” and the tiger is thinking “Hello hello what do we have here you look delicious”.

And why on earth is she wearing that daft dress out in the middle of a forest.  It’s going to get bloody filthy and there’s no way she will get the muck out of it.

Some people…honest.

Mission Primary – Room 101

Stomach pains…

These things tend to be short pieces that may or may not be the beginning of something else. Originally they were 101 words only. I’m less strict about that now. They dont always finish, I just like to try and evoke a certain feeling or scene.

I’m going to tie them to M’s prompts this month.  The prompt was “The explosive egg hunt” which had me thinking about the film alien and all this eggs filled with creatures just ready to burst out and crawl inside you…then there was the idea of the easter egg – the type that gets hidden in games and such.  Anyway this is what came of it.  Seems my preamble is longer that the piece itself.


Caleb brought the ship out of sub space, her beam engines humming into life as the faster than light drives fired down.

Desi unbuckled protesting “Dad’s going to kill us Cal, we shouldn’t be out here.”

“Oh relax sis” Cal answered “he’ll never know.  I just wanted to check.”

Cal tapped the holo screen that appeared before him and initiated a scan of the area.  “there must be something out here” he insisted.  “It’s meant to be out here somewhere.  The old charts in the vault pinpoint it to this sector.”

Desi looked out from the cockpit across the inky blackness of space, stars littered the darkness but nothing more. “Cal there’s nothing here, let’s go home.”

Cal turned to her, frustration etched across his face.  “But the charts Desi, why do you think Dad kept them locked away.  It’s for a reason surely.”

Desi looked up at the holo screen, it blinked confirming what she already knew.

“Earth isn’t out here Cal, It’s been gone for 8oo years now.”

 

 

Colleen’s Tanka Tuesday: CHARM and TIME

It’s something I guess

Colleen’s Tanka Tuesday

I don’t take many things seriously as you probably know but I am going to make a concerted effort to do Colleen’s challenges properly when I do them. I have scant regard for the correct use of haiku and tanka and often do such beastly things to them but I think it is also important to show appreciation for the little blighters because they are so fabulous when done right.

This week the challenge was to use synonyms for CHARM and TIME.  I used COAX and AGE.


Coaxed from cold rich earth

with promise of golden clothes

 

she smiles and walks forth

And across the land she glides

light after an age of dark

 

https://colleenchesebro.com/2018/03/27/colleens-2018-tanka-tuesday-poetry-challenge-no-77-charm-time-snyonymsonly/

Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge: Regal & Hopeful

To be clear, I am a big fan of the Royals.

Ronovan provides the words. Then a haiku follows.  Of sorts.

Sweet Megan Merkel

Hopeful of regal station

with ginger bollocks

https://ronovanwrites.com/2018/04/02/ronovanwrites-weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-195-regalhopeful/