Tag: limerick

So a businessman based up in Libya

from his trip brought home crabs and chlymidia

and a vase from Phuket

from a trans chap he met

and a rash from this lass from Namibia

A scientific young chap from the States

compiled stats on each one of his dates

compared each on a chart

to find what set them apart

still a virgin unlike all his mates

 

 

 

 

Once a kinky young fellow from Crete

got turned on at the sight of the feet

lost his mind at nice heels

arches so made him squeal

the aroma…he exploded…so sweet!

 

 

 

 

 

Once a charlatan, not reverential

said “I’ll tell folks god’s quite existential

and that yeah, I’m his son

had a thing with my mum

it’s sure to make cash, has potential”

 

 

 

 

 

Boastful fellow from Just south of Perth

Boasted he had great length and such girth

But it ended in tears

Dropped his pants on the beers

“Hey it’s cold” he protested to mirth

e

 

 

 

Once a fellow, tight bodied and ripped

on his torso worked hard but legs skipped

His top half was gigantic

though a breeze made him frantic

as unbalanced he wobbled and tripped

 

 

 

 

 

Pyromaniac nympho Melinda

snagged a willing young fellow from Tinder

as she reached for the lube

candle fell on his pubes

burnt his scrotum and knob to a cinder

 

Once a frisk young beauty called Mandy

quite insatiable always quite randy

had two fellas most days

her loins always ablaze

and toys for in between, rather handy

 

Once a chap with a craving for harlot’s

had a Julie, a Kate and a Scarlet

on whom he spend all his cash

and picked up quite a rash

which he gave to his poor girlfriend Charlotte

 

 

 

Curly haired scots lad, Mackenzie

red hair, freckles put the girls in a frenzy

Bed sweet Jane all weekend

Thursday, Friday her friend

Monday Tuesday hot Belle, rest on Wednesday

 

 

 

Once a lonely young fellow from China

on the net bought a plastic vagina

alas counterfeit wares

suffered bad penis tears

should have gone to Flesh Light, there’s none finer.

 

I now have a search on my laptop for best fake vagina.  Bloody hell.  Actually I also have one from this morning for symptoms of gonorrhoea.  I think perhaps I may need to flush my cookies and search history just in case the kids have a go on my laptop.  Or my wife.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a business trip to Tanzania

chap I know came back with gonorrhoea

which he gave to his wife

now lives the single life

Oh the things that come from just one beer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once a lady of grace poise and style

with a wink and caress would beguile

round her finger she wrapped

foolish men, quite entrapped

and the things she could do with a smile

 

Once a quite splendid baker, a Brummie

lovely baps, light croissants oh so scrummy

met a girl who get wet

at his wonderous baguette

and his muffin, dear god so so yummy

 

 

A young fellow in Bangkok did wonder

why the ladies packed hot trouser thunder

grew up Christian, protected

so he never expected

but too late, went ahead, pleasant blunder