A post a day for August

August was my first full month of blogging, so I thought I would set myself a target of posting every day, and yesterday I completed it.  So what did I learn?

August was my first full month of blogging, so I thought I would set myself a target of posting every day, and yesterday I completed it.  So what did I learn?

Here’s a quick list, because I know you’re busy…

  • Do not do it when you are taking a week’s holiday somewhere that has no wifi.  It will make you a horrible person and your wife and children will go for ice creams without you.
  • It is important to read lots of other peoples work.  You see some wonderful stuff and it will perhaps provide you with inspiration.
  • There are things that I don’t understand or enjoy, but I will give them a go.  I read every post on the ‘Magnetic’ daily prompt one day and learned tons about why people are hot for one another and how fortunate we are that ‘Lust’ and ‘Thrust’ rhyme.
  • There will be things you read that make you think “how the devil did they get so many likes?”  You have no idea what people will enjoy, trust me.   Google “hucow”.  But not at work, or where your partner or kids might see it.  Then delete your browser history.
  • At times it was like using a really dirty toilet.  The urge to produce something quickly was often more pressing than the need to produce something I enjoyed.
  • Engaging with the people behind the likes and the comments is hugely rewarding. There are a core of people who comment regularly who I truly appreciate because I know they are reading and enjoying it.
  • I have a suspicion that there are people who just like things to be polite or to get you to follow them.  One reader liked 79 posts in about 5 minutes.  I had to turn alerts off at that point.  I will follow you if I like what you write, not because you liked my copyright page.

Anyway, I’m sure there are more things but I wanted to keep this relatively brief.


Here’s some other stuff you might like

Sombre limericks 6

My 100th Post

Fatties in space – not one for the kiddies


Photo courtesy of pixabay

Screw you haiku vol 3

The point of these?  I cant remember to be honest, I think perhaps it’s turning into a defiling of the haiku form really.

Some days the best I can muster is a handful of rather poor and inappropriate haiku.  Today is one of those.

For volume 1 and volume 2 click on the clicky things.

The point of these?  I cant remember to be honest, I think perhaps it’s turning into a defiling of the haiku form really.

First day of diet

ate a whole box of meringues

maybe tomorrow

Bottle of vodka

turns out I’m not the batman

seems I cannot fly

Wakes up, strange bed, her

Face like a thick pool of sick

damn beer goggles

Kids used my toothbrush

scrubbed the toilet bowl with theirs

dysentery, oops.

Not sure about these

Off to research haiku verse

I’m sorry Japan


For something a little more pleasant you might possibly like this…



A letter to my wife – Gate – Daily prompt

Today I walked past your old house and thought of you.  With it’s red brick wall and it’s grey slate roof it looked just as it did all those years ago when we first met

To my dearest Jane.

Today I walked past your old house and thought of you.  With it’s red brick wall and it’s grey slate roof it looked just as it did all those years ago when we first met…just older I guess.  I like to think that perhaps it would say the same of us and smile and remember us the way we were.

It would remember how I walked past every morning on the way to school hoping to see you, even though that was the long way round, and it would laugh to see how I walked ever so slightly slower as I passed by.

The tales it would tell of how you eventually noticed me and we would walk together each day and  I would watch that old metal gate swing closed each evening as you waved goodbye and you would head inside and be lost to me until morning.   It would tell the story of how I first kissed you there in the snow at the end of term and it would make you blush and look at me with that smile you always had for me.

The years flew by so very fast didn’t they, but if it could it would remind us of the life we lived, the love we shared and the laughter that filled every day,  It would tell us of the things we had forgotten and how happy we were when we moved in and made it ours, and the years that passed as we filled it with a family of our own.

It would recall quite clearly how you would wave the kids off each day as they headed to school, and then eventually work until they left and made homes of their own.

As time slipped by you would lean upon that old gate post when your legs became so very tired and It remembers so clearly too the day when you left in the ambulance but you never came back.

I like to think that it would smile and wink at me if it saw me, and it would forgive me for leaving, but I could not stay after you were gone.  There were children playing in the garden and they looked happy Jane.  I hope they are as happy as we were.

I will miss you always and you remain forever in my heart.

Your ever loving husband.





Want to read more of my stuff?  There’s a few links below you might like.  It’s not all like that I promise.












Dash – a collection of hastily scribbled limericks – Daily prompt


>A fellow from Bangor I met

Had a shirt that was soaked through with sweat

As he’d been on the run

From a priest and a nun

And a Bishop whos wife he got wet


>A lady with bosoms aplenty

Proved a hit with the men of the gentry

They succumbed to her wiles

And her winks and her smiles

But to church she was oft refused entry


>A chap met a lass in a bush

Passion and lust what a rush

Pulses raced what a thrill

As they rolled on the hill

Until doctor confirmed he had thrush


>A wife bored at home with burst pipe

Hastily scrubbed with a wipe

As the plumber quite handy

Made her head swim like brandy

She was ready for plucking, quite ripe


>Please do not show these words to the wife

I really do not want the strife

“A grown man should man should know better,

your kids cold read this letter…

writing slightly rude rhymes, get a life!”




Armitage – Part 5

Koala Jackson was consumed by exactly none of the fear or trepidation that filled Armitage whenever he considered what lie before him.   In fact, she possessed mostly none of the attributes which made Armitage the opposite of whatever would likely pass as perfect for this mission.  Not to say he did not have admirable qualities, he did, but the ability to work with spreadsheets, support charities or put up a small shelf in the kitchen were highly unlikely to be required at any point in the near future.

With Close to two dozen rift missions under her belt, Koala was as close to a veteran of these things as you were going to find.   At 6 ft 2 she posed a striking figure, especially for a woman – which she quite obviously was.  Throw in piercing blue eyes, broad shoulders and a rather intimidating yet situationally perfect crew cut she was not to be trifled with.  Drop her into military fatigues and pop a couple of weapons in her surprisingly elegant hands and trifling was the furthest thing from Armitage’s mind.  This was most certainly a non trifling situation.

“Shanks!” she shouted over as Armitage stepped from the car, “Front and centre.  You too Goodwin!”

Goodwin scurried over, pulling on Armitage’s sleeve to hurry him along.  He’d seen enough television to know what she meant by ‘front and centre’ he just never quite imagined he’d need to be either front or centre and the confusion showed on his face as she barked again.

“Move it Shanks, we don’t have all day!”

“I really do think there has been a terrible misunderstanding ” he said gingerly, his feet shifting uncomfortably as he spoke.

“Did the receptionist send you?” she asked

Armitage confirmed with a nod and mumbled unintelligibly about clerical errors and voices in his head.

“Then there is no mistake.  The receptionist does not make mistakes!”

It was at this point, looking about, that he realised that a couple of slices of marmalade on toast and a cup of tea were not going to get him through the day.   He knew where he was, but it was very much changed from the last time he was here.  The Local football team ground had been commandeered by the Rift Police and the large car park to the front of the ground, where he now found himself, was now home to row upon row of military green tents.  Large stacks of crates were dotted about here and there and the place swarmed with gnarled looking , heavily armed, military types.

“Don’t look so worried shanks!” barked Jackson loudly, “What’s the worst that can happen eh?”

Armitage was pretty sure that she was making a joke, but the stony look on her face quite the opposite and he wondered for a moment whether this was a question.  Armitage had a good imagination, and right now he could picture plenty of things that would be considerably worse than that which he would have imagined were he asked the same question less than 24 hours earlier.

Jackson continued, addressing both Armitage and Goodwin jointly.  “Now I imagine you want to know why you’re here”.  She did not wait for him to respond.  “You have been  been chosen by the receptionist to accompany me and my team into the rift at 18 hundred hours. ”

Armitage felt suddenly rather unwell.  His brain insisted, quite elegantly and persuasively,  that it was simply a ludicrous idea to even consider such a thing, and who the devil did the council think it was to be asking perfectly unassuming members of the public to undertake what was quite obviously a military mission.  It was not on and he would like to speak to whomever was in charge because this simply would not do.

Unfortunately, all of this came out as a rather unconvincing “Mnneeegghh”.

“Excellent” she said, “well now that that is all squared away Goodwin will show you to your tent and get you settled” and with that she strode off purposely towards the tents and disappeared.

Armitage stood for a while then looked across at Goodwin.  “This way then Armitage” he said, almost cheerily, and set off in the same general direction as Jackson.

Entering the large green tent it was everything he had ever seen on television, back when there was any television to speak of.  Two rows of four beds lined each side of the tent and to the right of the head of each bed there was a small metal cupboard and at the foot of the bed a large green metal trunk.  Piled neatly on the end of the bed was a sheet, blanket, pillow and pillow case.

“Pick any one ” instructed Goodwin, waving a hand towards the beds “might be worth making up the bed too in case you want to grab some sleep before things get a bit crazy.”

“Why am I here?” Armitage asked emptily.

Goodwin chuckled and sat on the edge of one of the beds, his hands folded in his lap.  It was always the same routine.  The Receptionist picks them out, lands him with them and he has to explain why some poor regular run of the mill nobody is about to pop into a rift in time and space.

“Pretty simple really ” he answered, “Turns out you’re most probably genetically predisposed to rift travel.”

Goodwin paused for dramatic effect, his slightly too apart eyes not blinking to heighten the tension.  This was his favourite part.  “I say probably because it did go wrong once and …” He paused again.  “Well lets just say that should this not go well your wife will receive a rather nice bouquet of flowers and a card expressing the council’s sincerest condolences. ”

Armitage thought he was going to be sick again.  He seemed to be feeling this way a lot today and he was pretty sure that it was nothing to do with the marmalade.

“There are things to see and places to go in this universe Armitage,  well beyond that which you could ever comprehend” he continued, “and we need your unique genetic code unlock the rift to allow Jackson and her team to pass through.”

“Oh this is bloody stupid” he replied, the combination of nausea and confusion overwhelming him somewhat.  That was all he could muster other than “I really don’t feel well at all”.

“Lie down a while” replied Goodwin still smiling “It will be fine.” He paused again.  “Probably”.









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