That’ll never fit
Measurements seem to confirm
yet seems insistent

Might as well as commit fully to a dirty Saturday.
That’ll never fit
Measurements seem to confirm
yet seems insistent

Eventually I decided to use Nantucket and just as god intended it to be used though I took a slightly less easy route and avoided the obvious. Kinda. Sort of.
Nympho cum craving lass from Nantucket
had a craving to ride, stroke or pluck it
and by Friday she ached
how she quivered and shaked
but by Sunday she’d filled half a bucket
another perhaps…
In the night you hear scratching and grating
there’s a knock at the door you lie waiting
As you lie ‘neath the sheets
there’s a tug at your feet
you look up and she’s there, dead eyes hating
another perhaps…
Every night around midnight with dread
dark things scuttle and dart ‘neath the bed
a young child with dead eyes
cackles whispers and sighs
and then screams. chills your soul as he’s dead
Wait until the coast is clear
Sour grumbling tum
Thought that the coast was clear
“hold the lift” she cried
As I recall he insisted he had spilled a drink in his lap…A friend of a friend. You know…Darren.
extreme hand holding
Journey of discovery
hot trouser splooshing

I know…
A fine fellow of good reputation
met a comely young lass at the station
dark intentions revealed
in the tunnel she squealed
“Choo choo baby” with wild exclaimation
Explosive indeed
past it’s sell by date
nature will not be denied
well it smelled okay

How’s it looking out there then?
Once this lass met this redneck called Ted
Who she caught with his father in bed
she was not one to judge
Let alone bear a grudge
So shacked up with his mother instead
Welcome to old age
ravages of time
Cantankerous curmudgeon
blood isn’t that thick

It is exactly what it seems
he didn’t mean to
and protests his innocence
a costly divorce

Shock, horror…
English teacher with nasty affliction
Burns, not from fire but from friction
She stayed late after class
head teacher made a pass
So she gave him a hand with his diction
Shock, horror…
Once a baker from North Carolina
ladies said his baguette, there’s none finer
his sweet buns were divine
his iced fingers sublime
and his footlong was quite the headliner
Think the drawing came first rather than the haiku.
nail biter gagging
a lesson in hand washing
won’t forget next time

nothing weird here. See. 🙂
An unfortunate chap from Rawlpindi
who found curry and rice made him windy
poppadoms made him toot
on his foul anal flute
nicknamed ‘Dasta’ quite rightly in hindi
I would say I am sorry but you would know I was lying. Not really sure what this is. It’s a thing I guess.
Evil incarnate
enjoys farting into prams
he walks among us

Meh…
Once a highlander, sporraned and kilted
at the alter was left sad and jilted
as his dear wife to be
liked them bigger you see
found him not at all large and quite wilted
Dirty bugger
Oh this fellow I know got this rash
from this chap he molested for cash cash
cos he wanted a treat
but to keep it discreet
and to not let his wife know, the trash
Still mostly drivel
Once a fellow brought up in the Valley
Who went clubbing and met steaming Sally
They canoodled and kissed
Danced, ate, drank and got pissed
Got caught naked by cops down an alley
The one where the salad wasn’t the only thing that was tossed
he watched plumber porn
Connected to the Bluetooth
while folks ate salad

Of course I will start with a limerick…
Once a lass felt her life was so missing
intimacy and loving and kissing
met a chap in the park
dated, soon turned quite dark
went from petting to bondage and pissing
Where the hell did the week go?
What an insanely busy few weeks here. I have had little chance to do a great deal at all and I am missing writing and will hopefully be back to normal in just over a week. Rugby season has started and I have a couple of festivals to organise and have been travelling a wee bit with work so the days seem to have escaped me…
A chap that I know had a prude
of a wife who was not fond of nude
fornication instead
she insisted that bed
was for rest and not anything rude
Where the dickens did the week go?
A sweet creature most kind and demure
found the draw of dark things quite a lure
now she cant get enough
hair pulled, spanked and done rough
fish hooked, choked and abused oh for sure
Wednesday, well that came around rather quickly. Let’s start by being inappropriate shall we,
A quite elegant classical beauty
had a boyfriend who tried to get fruity
with her holes was obsessed
whether naked or dressed
be it mouth, twixt her thighs or her booty
Tuesday. Just great.
Once a lass of dark urges called Grace
Would find men any time any place
She would take a full load
Squeal for delight, they’d explode
With great gusto all over her face