A sex toy purveyor called Brenda
.
Bought a dildo, a thick double-ender
.
With each end like a dragon
.
How she could not stop braggin’
.
Left her unable to walk and quite tender
A Limerick
All hail the queen of dragons!
Tag: dildo
Yawn, another limerick etc etc.
A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.
A cavernous lass, quite pedantic
who insisted on cocks most gigantic
No nine inchers for her
(unless girth) she don’t care
Only upwards of twelve get her frantic
Yawn, another limerick.
A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.
A cavernous lass, quite pedantic
who insisted on cocks most gigantic
No nine inchers for her
(unless girth) she don’t care
Only upwards of twelve get her frantic
Here you go, another limerick.
A rude one about a woman and her need for a particularly large penis.
A cavernous lass, quite pedantic
who insisted on cocks most gigantic
No nine inchers for her
(unless girth) she don’t care
Only upwards of twelve get her frantic
Saturday fruit-based-sex limerick
Permit me this one I have been frightfully grown up this week.
Once a grocer consumed with dark greed
rubbed bananas when he had the need
squeezed his nuts, groped his plums
slid courgette’s twixt his buns
Watermelon? He swallowed the seed
😉
Monday. Limerick. Go.
Nasty. Real nasty…
A young grocer, reserved and upright
returned late from a hard day one night
Lonely wife had got kinky
left a cucumber stinky
and two aubergines covered in shite
A Sunday Limerick.
It’s been a week. Let’s have one shall we…It works if you make Peking rhyme with squeaking trust me…
Once a buggery fan born in Peking
one day woke found his sphincter was leaking
used a cork from some rum
rammed it straight up his bum
worked a treat, when it walked made a squeaking.
Another Dirty Friday Limerick.
One about a dildo bike
Once a cock mad na-tu-rist called Mike
bought himself a quite fab dildo bike
Grinning, rides through the grass
as it pummels his ass
Likes it dry, but use lube if you like
An unexpected Christmas gift.
What a surprise that would have been…
My son turned 14 the other day and he had 7 of his friends over for a sleep over after a trip to the movies and for something to eat. I know, I know, at this point you are already probably shaking your head because yes you are right, it was a bloody stupid idea.
To be fair to them they are a pretty nice bunch of lads but that said they are still 14 year old boys and therefore also a huge pain in the arse. As expected they were loud, they smelled awful and they all think they are most funny when they are not. Even when they were still pissing about at 2 in the morning it was kind of expected so for the most part I just let them be.
The next morning though there was a rather unexpected surprise when I went into my Amazon account to order a last minute Christmas gift. Seems they had been using the Amazon Alexa search and order functionality to pick up some last minute Christmas gifts themselves.
Below is just part of the Alexa search history and the item I found awaiting my check out.
Well at least the wife says it was them…
Such thoughtful boys…
Afterwards 