Category: limericks

Just a quickie

Zoom zoom zoom

I don’t really have time to write this weekend as I am coordinating a rugby festival for 800 children but a few limericks occurred to me today so Ill just get these out of my head as I need to make some room for other things.  

There once was a Farmer of note

had a thing, quite obscene, with a goat

Neighbours frowned, disapproved

as they did acts quite lewd

“We’re quite happy” he said, quote, unquote

Wrong I know but stuff happens.  I lived on a farm and there was this cow with no ears and one day one of the lads who milked them was found…Actually no I’ll stop there.

A chap I know finds Santa scary

with his beard so big white and hairy

and his bulging great sack

and his lock picking knack

Christmas eve, keeps the lights on quite wary

anyway moving along swiftly.  Let’s end with a Donald one.  If you’ve read my blog for any length of time you know how much I like to write about him.

There’s this POTUS who loves groping mums

wives and sisters and aunties and nuns

You’ll be next, not discreet

he will send off a tweet

share his conquest of you with his chums

Goodnight 🙂

 

Screw you haiku volume…6?

Driving made me super gay

Edgar – A FFfAW word challenge

Courtesy of Free-Napster@pixabay

 

 

Grrrrrr

Not a piece I am particularly proud of but it is what it is.  *Presses publish*

I know, my last piece was rather dark.  So how about limericks to lighten the mood.  This week I will be mostly considering terrorists and fundamentalist sorts who thinks the only way is their way.  

Hmmm.  I should probably delete that.  All sounds just a bit angry.

An american chap who gets weird

if he sees a tanned bloke with a beard

thinks they all carry bombs

and oppress wives and moms

bought a gun, shot a few, as I’d feared

 

A  bomber killed folk in God’s name

people think all his kind are the same

blew himself all to bits

what a right bunch of shits

But we cant give all Muslims the blame

 

Hmmm.  Not as light hearted as I had hoped for.

 

A godly man fancied this kid

you’d be shocked at the bad things he did

but the church saw no crime

said “Don’t do it next time”

and made sure that his sins were well hid

 

Think I might be in a bit of a mood and rather judgemental.  Oh well.  

A fellow quite grumpy, a Brit

sat typing some quite nasty shit

think hes in quite a mood

maybe he needs some food

and a nap and to swear less, that’s it

Not a piece I am particularly proud of but it is what it is.  *Presses publish*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your lunchtime limerick 01/10/17

Another day another limerick.

This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

I seem to hate Trump, ghastly man

And I write of his deeds when i can

I should really relax

but he seems to hate blacks

and the poor and the sick and Islam

 

Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 30/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

 

Orange faced oaf of much note

looks to hide how he’s stolen your vote

picking fights, talking shite

big applause from the right

“Crooked Hilary lost” hear him gloat.

 

Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 29/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

 

A house wife from Bradford called Jess

Caught her hub one day wearing a dress

How it made her eyes pop

So he’s having the op

Now her Trevor’s becoming a Tess

 

Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 28/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

 

There once was a kid, quite forlorn

Found a stash of his fathers best porn

Now he’s happy and glad

but his father’s quite mad

Cos the pages are sticky and torn

 

Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 27/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week the lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

There once was a chap from Japan

loved a lady but also a man

got the best of both worlds

when he found this Thai girl

called Petunia, but used to be Stan

 

Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 26/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week…The lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

A suicide bomber names Bert

So frustrated, his testicles hurt

Blew himself into three

For the virgins you see

He was promised – tall, short, round and pert

 

Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

Image courtesy of  me

Your lunchtime limerick 25/9/17

Another day another limerick.

 

This week…The lunchtime limerick subject will be desire or something kind of inappropriate.

Celibate, destined to be

Betrothed and in marriage set free

But it came to an end

When he banged her best friend

And said “join us babe, let’s make it three”

 

Want more stuff?  I have lots of stuff…

I set myself a challenge this week…

Fatties in space – The Poem. Not for kiddies

Glorious – Daily Prompt

 

Image courtesy of  me