Tag: get well soon

Heard you’re under the weather and wheezy

and your bottom is really quite breezy

and you’re head’s thick and snotty

and your breath’s pretty grotty

lots of fluids and rest, take it easy

Neath the paint and the smiles, sadness deep

When the lights they go out they do creep

At the window stare in

with maniacal grin

cut you up in your bed as you sleep

Tell the children it’s fine, not to fear

that you’ve checked and there’s just nothing here

but when you turn your back

they emerge from the black

and from under the bed they appear

Nympho cum craving lass from Nantucket

had a craving to ride, stroke or pluck it

and by Friday she ached

how she quivered and shaked

but by Sunday she’d filled half a bucket

In the night you hear scratching and grating

there’s a knock at the door you lie waiting

As you lie ‘neath the sheets

there’s a tug at your feet

you look up and she’s there, dead eyes hating

Every night around midnight with dread

dark things scuttle and dart ‘neath the bed

a young child with dead eyes

cackles whispers and sighs

and then screams. chills your soul as he’s dead

A fine fellow of good reputation

met a comely young lass at the station

dark intentions revealed

in the tunnel she squealed

“Choo choo baby” with wild exclaimation

Once this lass met this redneck called Ted

Who she caught with his father in bed

she was not one to judge

Let alone bear a grudge

So shacked up with his mother instead

English teacher with nasty affliction

Burns, not from fire but from friction

She stayed late after class

head teacher made a pass

So she gave him a hand with his diction

Once a baker from North Carolina

ladies said his baguette, there’s none finer

his sweet buns were divine

his iced fingers sublime

and his footlong was quite the headliner

An unfortunate chap from Rawlpindi

who found curry and rice made him windy

poppadoms made him toot

on his foul anal flute

nicknamed ‘Dasta’ quite rightly in hindi

Once a highlander, sporraned and kilted

at the alter was left sad and jilted

as his dear wife to be

liked them bigger you see

found him not at all large and quite wilted

Oh this fellow I know got this rash

from this chap he molested for cash cash

cos he wanted a treat

but to keep it discreet

and to not let his wife know, the trash