get well soon – Page 13

A Late Night Limerick

Need a hand with that get-well-soon card? Perhaps feeling a touch on the gassy side?

This week they will be on the matter of getting well soon, so if you know someone who ails you are more than welcome to borrow them if you’re thinking of sending a nice card and some grapes perhaps. Let’s ease in nice and slow with something pleasant shall we. There’s plenty of time for it to go awry I assure you.

I heard you’re quite bloated today

And you stomach’s all growly you say

Just give in, let it out

Unleash hell have no doubt

You’ll feel better quite soon, fart away

Ha that picture with this poem made me chuckle. There must be a fetish haiku in it surely…

photo courtesy of pixabay

A Late Night Limerick

Need a hand with that get-well-soon card?

You got whiplash? Oh dear that’s a shame

Though I hope that you know who’s to blame

Cos you’re sure to cash in

And you’ll most likely win

When you call up and submit your claim

photo courtesy of pixabay

Late Night Limerick – Get well soon and hope the Gonorrhoea clears up

Oh bloody hell no amount of get well soon cards are going to help with this one.

Oh poor lamb heard you’ve got gonorrhoea

And the symptoms they seem quite severe

Now it burns when you piss

You’d not bargained on this

When you paid for that hooker, oh dear

photo courtesy of pixabay

A Late Night Limerick

Need a hand with that get-well-soon card?

Sprained Wrist *wink wink*

Hurt your wrist now you’Re feeling forlorn

Is it twisted or ligaments torn?

Now you know that we all

think its not from a fall

But from wanking all night watching porn

photo courtesy of pixabay

Late Night Limerick – So you’ve got syphilis

Oh bloody hell no amount of get well soon cards are going to help with this one.

So you’ve got syphilis

This is as far as I got. Just the title. I started researching it right and oh my bloody hell it’s frigging awful. I can happily write a stupid poem about it with little knowledge but I confess to never having really understood fully just what it entails.

I tell you it is quite awful. It effects you for like forever and some of the things that happen to you are quite chilling. Let’s just say that you could indeed look back at the day your dick nearly fell of and think “Aah, good times.”

Bloody hell, I’m stopping writing now and having a rum and going to bed. Maybe 3 rums actually.

photo courtesy of pixabay

A Late Night Limerick

Need a hand with that get-well-soon card?

Heard you ate something dodgy oh dear

and your stomach is feeling quite queer

Stay hydrated then rest

you’ll be back to your best

it’s not pleasant at all diahorrea

photo courtesy of pixabay

Get well soon limericks

Get well soon.

To round off a day of mostly limericks one last post. Inspired by a comment by a reader at http://www.poetrummager.com who suggested limericks could replace traditional get well soon message. Thank you !

An infected promiscuous mate

Got aids from a lass on a date

He was once much much bigger

But now has a nice figure

Since infected he’s lost loads of weight

I saw your dad this afternoon

Heard your stomach looks like a balloon

And your bottom has leaked

But your temperature peaked

So I hope that you’ll feel better soon

Your mum said you just been for tests

For a lump that you found in your breast

Lets hope its not bad

Cos that happened to dad

And just after we laid him to rest

I saw your dad at the garage

said your scrotum is swollen quite large

Since you went to Bangkok

I bet it was a shock

When you saw the quite nasty discharge.

Right…that’s a lot of posts for one day, see you tomorrow perhaps.

Photo couryesy of Typographyimages@pixabay