Rushed and a bit pants but I’m tired and need to go to bed…
Once a farmer, who was well endowed
with great stock and would proclaim quite loud
Of the worth of his meat
A mouth watering treat
How his sheep left him standing quite proud
I know that I can do better but I am sat in the car eating my lunch. What exactly are you doing?
Once a student in love with the arts
Had a terrible case of the farts
When undressing at night
In her underwear, white
Had made finger painting from her sharts
Explosive stuff
Friend of mine met this lass, not realising
That her bum was quite uncompromising
During candle lit sex
Massive fart, and then next
thing her sphincter’s on fire, unsurprising
Need a hand with that get-well-soon card? Perhaps feeling a touch on the gassy side?
This week they will be on the matter of getting well soon, so if you know someone who ails you are more than welcome to borrow them if you’re thinking of sending a nice card and some grapes perhaps. Let’s ease in nice and slow with something pleasant shall we. There’s plenty of time for it to go awry I assure you.
I heard you’re quite bloated today
And you stomach’s all growly you say
Just give in, let it out
Unleash hell have no doubt
You’ll feel better quite soon, fart away
Ha that picture with this poem made me chuckle. There must be a fetish haiku in it surely…
photo courtesy of pixabay
Chief Hennessy wiped soot from his face. “Thanks Kate, as far as preliminary reports show looks like a mains gas escape.”
Thanks to Michelle for the prompt
“Chief, Kate White Channel 8 News, can you tell us what happened?”
Chief Hennessy wiped soot from his face. “Thanks Kate, as far as preliminary reports show looks like a mains gas escape.”
“Any reports of casualties?” she pressed.
“I can confirm two deceased occupants found on the premises.”
Two hours earlier
“Bend over more” Ben howled holding the lighter to his brother’s bottom.
“It’s coming, light it, light it” Tobias shouted, eyes popping as he strained.
“You smell that?” Ben said suddenly looking about, his smile gone, lighter still burning.
“You smell this?” Tobias laughed, letting out a huge fart…
Photo courtesy of pixabay
just a few thoughts before I start the day
Just a few thoughts on the hotel before we head out and see what the day has to hold.
Other peoples kids
Drunkards bouncing down the hall
Flatulent neighbours
Four people one room
A night time cocophony
Really need a nap
Lying in my bed
Inches from another soul
In another room
Please shut your kids up
Next time we go up market
Tired and grumpy
Right…im off for an ice cream and to dip my toes in the icy north sea. I will let you know how it goes.
Afterwards 