A horny lass, lets call her Glenda
Bought a black dildo, huge double ender
Dubbed it “Sweet chocolate thunder”
Nearly tore her asunder
Was a small girl, petite and quite slender
2026 Limerick 15
Things that make u go Aaaarggghhh
Category: limericks
2026 Limerick 14
Perhaps think about washing your hands and wearing some gloves
Once a vet with unhygienic habits
Fondled gerbils and squirrels and rabbits
She got pink eye, and worse
Traumatised a poor nurse
As her bottom it writhed with fat maggots
2026 Limerick 13
Wrap up if you’re frolicking
A quite lovely temptress from Dover
loved to frolic and roll in the clover
She would lie in the dew
with a fellow or two
caught a chill, went without a pullover
2026 Limerick 12
Just wanted to use the word ‘Diction’ tbh
He wrote love letters of deep conviction
Woven eloquent words of sweet fiction
How the ladies would quiver
At the words he’d deliver
Quite aroused by his glorious diction
2026 Limerick 11
A geologist thrilled by erosion
ox bow lakes, sedimentary corrosion
quite turned on by ablation
or a wet river basin
limestone layers cause trouser explosion
2026 Limerick 10
There’s now just one ‘i’ in limerick…
Theres this chap I know with diabetes
Still insists on his cakes and his sweeties
With delight he’ll devour
Chocolate bars every hour
Gangerene struck, now no toes on his feeties
2026 LIMERICK 9
Such a love of cornography
A fellow with loneliness issues
Bought vaseline and a large box of tissues
Then Indulging in porn
With a footlong cob of corn
Eyes watered as he lubed it to misuse
2026 LIMERICK 8
Not my fault the words rhyme…
A lad met a lass and he woo’d
In sweet old fashion style he pursued
Something less of a thriller
She was a serial killer
And a cannibal, killed him for food
2026 LIMERICK 7
last of these for a while methinks
A young undertaker called Beth
Formaldehyde strong on her breath
How she loved giving pleasure
To deceased at her leisure
She proclaimed, “nothing tastes sweet as death.”
2026 LIMERICK 6
Once more into the breach
A round bellied fellow called Martin
Quite inflated and couldn’t stop farting
Silent, raspy or tooty
Sometimes rancid and fruity
Often left underwear with a shart in.
2026 LIMERICK 5
Probably 3d printed.
There once was a fellow from China
On the web bought a custom vagina
Custom clit, and what’s crazier
Interchangeable labia!
He declared “You will not find one finer!”
2026 LIMERICK 4
Because why not
Hairy chap who could not get the ladies
Arm pit hair like two alpaca babies
Eye brows like caterpillars
Chest just like a gorilla’s
And a bumhole like a poodle with scabies
2026 LIMERICK 3
Just to prove that they can always get worse…
In a crash, young lads folks passed away
Vicar came round said “let’s pray”
“I’ll bring comfort ” he mused
Which the young man refused
Saying “I just don’t want anal today”
2026 LIMERICK 2
Doing my best to keep up a very low standard.
A chap gave up whores for new year
Smoking weed, spirits wine, also beer
By the fifth just too tempted
Vodka bottle he emptied
Took a cheap prostitute from the rear
2026 LIMERICK 1
Let’s start somewhere very inappropriate so there’s no doubt over what the rest of the year here will look like.
Bawdy bestial vet hot and sweaty
Pants bulged at piglets, got hot he
Is turned on by their squeals
Curly tails gave him feels
Found a pair of pigs trotters real sexy
LIMERICK. GO.
Let us ease back into these…
A young couple of abstinence sceptic
Enjoyed oral, though she’s epileptic
Half way through had a fit
He yelled out, as she bit
Left it savaged, alas, it got septic
Limerick. E is for…
Another day another limerick
A dancer with hip sway, hypnotic
On the stage raked it on, so exotic
With a spin and a swirl
A gyration and twirl
Pried each pay cheque from onlookers wallet
Limerick. D is for…
Oh hello, old friend
Once a chap quite rotund, found of beers
On a diet ate saled, then cheered
Off the booze, quite the shock
There revealed was his cock
Which was hid neath his belly for years
LIMERICK. C is for…
And we continue…
A stomach troubled woman called Cath
Felt romantic, took her man for a bath
But alas, code brown troubles
When she giggled and made bubbles
And launched little brown ducks, not a laugh…
Limerick…B is for…
Another day, another limerick
Foot fetish butcher got wild at the sight
Of lambs feet, made his trousers go tight
Nothing got him as hot as
A pair of pigs trotters
And cloved hooves left him sleepless at night
Limerick. A is for…
Lets do an A-Z, shall we…
An acrobatic foodie called Wendy
Quite pliable, twist and bendy
She’d scoff meats, pies, and breads
With her legs round her head
TikTok famouns, became pretty trendy
A Limerick
Meh…bit out of practice
A dentist from south of Manilla
Found a wide gaping mouth quite the thriller
Be it clean or quite putrid
He’d get horny and stupid
He would grin as he asked, “Want some filler?”
Look, a limerick! Been a while
meh
Pyromaniac nympho called Linda
Took a lad home that she met on Tinder
Took some candles to bed
How he screamed as he fled
Burnt the poor fellows cock to a cinder
Limerick? Go on. Treat yourself.
Proof please
A keen mathematician, Tallulah
Would not let young boastful chaps fool her
Evidence, she’d insist
Even before they kissed
And checks both length and girth with a ruler
Limerick
Just dirty
ONE A BANKER OF GOOD REPUTATION
LOVE HIS INTEREST, GUILTS, BONDS AND INFLATION
BUT IN PRIVATE INSISTED.
TO BE SLAPPED KISSED AND FISTED
BY PAID DWARVES, SUCH ORGASMIC SENSATION
Afterwards 