A young undertaker called Beth
Formaldehyde strong on her breath
How she loved giving pleasure
To deceased at her leisure
She proclaimed, “nothing tastes sweet as death.”
2026 LIMERICK 7
last of these for a while methinks
Category: limericks
2026 LIMERICK 6
Once more into the breach
A round bellied fellow called Martin
Quite inflated and couldn’t stop farting
Silent, raspy or tooty
Sometimes rancid and fruity
Often left underwear with a shart in.
2026 LIMERICK 5
Probably 3d printed.
There once was a fellow from China
On the web bought a custom vagina
Custom clit, and what’s crazier
Interchangeable labia!
He declared “You will not find one finer!”
2026 LIMERICK 4
Because why not
Hairy chap who could not get the ladies
Arm pit hair like two alpaca babies
Eye brows like caterpillars
Chest just like a gorilla’s
And a bumhole like a poodle with scabies
2026 LIMERICK 3
Just to prove that they can always get worse…
In a crash, young lads folks passed away
Vicar came round said “let’s pray”
“I’ll bring comfort ” he mused
Which the young man refused
Saying “I just don’t want anal today”
2026 LIMERICK 2
Doing my best to keep up a very low standard.
A chap gave up whores for new year
Smoking weed, spirits wine, also beer
By the fifth just too tempted
Vodka bottle he emptied
Took a cheap prostitute from the rear
2026 LIMERICK 1
Let’s start somewhere very inappropriate so there’s no doubt over what the rest of the year here will look like.
Bawdy bestial vet hot and sweaty
Pants bulged at piglets, got hot he
Is turned on by their squeals
Curly tails gave him feels
Found a pair of pigs trotters real sexy
LIMERICK. GO.
Let us ease back into these…
A young couple of abstinence sceptic
Enjoyed oral, though she’s epileptic
Half way through had a fit
He yelled out, as she bit
Left it savaged, alas, it got septic
Limerick. E is for…
Another day another limerick
A dancer with hip sway, hypnotic
On the stage raked it on, so exotic
With a spin and a swirl
A gyration and twirl
Pried each pay cheque from onlookers wallet
Limerick. D is for…
Oh hello, old friend
Once a chap quite rotund, found of beers
On a diet ate saled, then cheered
Off the booze, quite the shock
There revealed was his cock
Which was hid neath his belly for years
LIMERICK. C is for…
And we continue…
A stomach troubled woman called Cath
Felt romantic, took her man for a bath
But alas, code brown troubles
When she giggled and made bubbles
And launched little brown ducks, not a laugh…
Limerick…B is for…
Another day, another limerick
Foot fetish butcher got wild at the sight
Of lambs feet, made his trousers go tight
Nothing got him as hot as
A pair of pigs trotters
And cloved hooves left him sleepless at night
Limerick. A is for…
Lets do an A-Z, shall we…
An acrobatic foodie called Wendy
Quite pliable, twist and bendy
She’d scoff meats, pies, and breads
With her legs round her head
TikTok famouns, became pretty trendy
A Limerick
Meh…bit out of practice
A dentist from south of Manilla
Found a wide gaping mouth quite the thriller
Be it clean or quite putrid
He’d get horny and stupid
He would grin as he asked, “Want some filler?”
Look, a limerick! Been a while
meh
Pyromaniac nympho called Linda
Took a lad home that she met on Tinder
Took some candles to bed
How he screamed as he fled
Burnt the poor fellows cock to a cinder
Limerick? Go on. Treat yourself.
Proof please
A keen mathematician, Tallulah
Would not let young boastful chaps fool her
Evidence, she’d insist
Even before they kissed
And checks both length and girth with a ruler
Limerick
Just dirty
ONE A BANKER OF GOOD REPUTATION
LOVE HIS INTEREST, GUILTS, BONDS AND INFLATION
BUT IN PRIVATE INSISTED.
TO BE SLAPPED KISSED AND FISTED
BY PAID DWARVES, SUCH ORGASMIC SENSATION
Limerick…filthy
Dirty…
Lust filed chap bought a doll on the net
So lifelike, it would even get wet
With its well modelled bits
Butt hole, front bum and tits
He declared, “It’s the best you can get!”
Limerick
YUM YUM YUM
A fellow of taste and good breeding
Loved big girls and he really loved feeding
Sweets, cakes, meats tarts and pies
Growing bums, tums and thighs
“One more bite”, he was often heard pleading
Another Simple Limerick
mmmmmmeat
Once a butcher who dearly loved meat
Would rub sausages betwixt his feet
Groaned and sensually grinned
As they burst from their skins
Eyes rolled back at the explosive treat
A Simple Limerick
The eye watering course of life and love
A fellow who cheated, contrite
Hoped his wife would forgive him, she might
Reach down deep in her heart
And they’d have a new start
But she lopped off his cock in the night
Limerick time
Whatever…
A fellow from south of the border
Ordered a bride on mail order
Sent her back, wasn’t right
Was well used and not tight
And he wanted her hips a lot broader
Sex doll limerick…
Another…yawn
There once was a quite lonely miner
Who ordered a sex doll from China
“There the best!” He insisted
“And can roughly be fisted
Tits, ass, boobs” he declared, “There’s none finer”
limerick…
Another?
A young lady with breasts by the plenty
Caused a stir with the clergy and gentry
They declared her ‘Queen Bawd’
Surely sent by the Lord
But on Sundays to church, refused entry
Internet stufff limerick
Wonder what the return charges were?
A fellow from south of the border
Ordered a bride on mail order
Sent her back, wasn’t right
Was well used and not tight
And he wanted her hips a lot broader
Afterwards 