Category: Poems

Screwing you haiku

Surprise!

The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much. Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous. Oh, and I know they’re probably Senryu. I struggle with boundaries a bit.

 

 

he calls her name loud

back arched, the throes of passion

she stirs from her sleep

“Its Friday where I live” Limerick

Just a normal non weird kinda effort

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

 

Once a placid young chap from Brazil

Snapped, killed his wife with a drill

Said “she would scream and she’d shout

And my patience ran out

As her voice was quite loud and so shrill.”

 

Oh look…

Just loves how it feels on his skin…

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

A Preacher shouts “By God I’m blessed”

Yet at home you would find him cross dressed

French cut panties all lace

Basque pulled taught at the waist

really loves how it shows off his chest

Screw you haiku

Another day another silly haiku thing…

The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much. Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous. Oh, and I know they’re probably Senryu. I struggle with boundaries a bit.

 

Shared bathroom shelving

lotions, potions spill over

single razor blade

 

Oh look a limerick on a Wednesday.

Who’d have thought

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

A gym bunny, just one of the boys

Wanted mass so he turned to the ‘roids

As his pecs grew quite thick

He lost sight of his dick

He don’t care ‘cos he flexes with poise

To love through loss

Teary eyed she stands in the rain

Asks “Daddy why did she die”

He father holds her hand and says

“sometime we don’t know why.”

 

Dear love, best friend so loyal and true

She remembers, heart forlorn

The moments shared, the life the love

So cruelly from life torn

 

“It seems so sad, she was so young”

As tears mix with the rain

“do doggies go to heaven dad?

Will I see her again?”

 

 

Oh look, a limerick

I’d not read this eating your tea

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

A young chap thought that he would perhaps

Enjoy butt sex then his sphincter collapsed

Oh my god came the shout

As his insides dripped out

It’s like someone turned on the shit taps

Screw you haiku

Another day another silly haiku thing…

The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much. Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous. Oh, and I know they’re probably Senryu. I struggle with boundaries a bit.

Long legged beauty

Slender, shapely, long necked

Dirty giraffe thoughts

Screw you haiku

Aah that feels better. Not a mention of the seasons or little golden leaf boats or winters icy fingers…

The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much. Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous. Oh, and I know they’re probably Senryu. I struggle with boundaries a bit.

Lesson well heeded

Never gamble on a fart

Worse first date ever

One more Day

As time draws near and daylight fades and night knocks on my door…

As time draws near and daylight fades and night knocks on my door

To take my hand and lead away to far and distant shore

I know that I shall want one more, and beg that I may stay

to spend with you from waking hours until the end of day

 

To see you smile and hear your voice and watch you as you sleep

and laugh and love and cry and drink of all you are quite deep

and so to sunset one last time I hold you in my arms

and lovers promises I make and swear I’ll never harm

 

And in those moments faces lined and eyes still burning bright

I kiss your lips and say farewell and head into the night

without regret without remorse and love without relent

and thank you for your years and love and faith and life well spent

A limerick about judgement…

Dirty dirty man…

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

Once a preacher condemned fornication

And booze, porn, drugs and masturbation

Then was caught by the press

In lipstick, wig and dress

Giving hand jobs to men near the station

Another horrid limerick

I know I know, “Liquor” and “Lick Her” are kind of the same

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

Heard a tale of a quite horny Vicar

Met a nun and he wanted to lick her

From her head to her shins

Then forgive all her sins

Then smoke fags and do shots of string liquor

Screw you haiku

Aah that feels better. Not a mention of the seasons or little golden leaf boats or winters icy fingers…

The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much.  Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous.  Oh, and I know they’re probably Senryu.  I struggle with boundaries a bit.

 

He watches her leave

His heart is hers, she knows not

Hid in her bushes

Screw you haiku

Aah that feels better. Not a mention of the seasons or little golden leaf boats or winters icy fingers…

The haiku, so proud, tight, formal. So little saying so much.  Mostly though I like to defile them with the ridiculous.  Oh, and I know they’re probably Senryu.  I struggle with boundaries a bit.

 

All senses heightened

all I can hear, all I see

Eat with your mouth closed

A limerick about a really poor business model

Yet another…

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. What do you reckon?

Pioneer said, “Eureka, a plan

I’ll keep pigs on a farm in Iran!

Get your pork” he did shout

“Sausage, bacon and snout”

So they stoned him and blamed the Quran