A tale of life, love and the stuff seldom mentioned

It probably happens all the time. Just not to people you know.

Star crossed lovers and destined by fate

a connection so deep and most great

then he let himself go

so she slept with his bro

and ran off with the dad of his mate

 

 

Diet o’clock 4th of July

The dreaded social situation…

Well it’s a week and a half and still going well.  I accidentally ate a couple of chips off of my wife’s plate (fries for you Americans) which was just habit and I tell you they were awful.

Actually they weren’t they were bloody lovely.  They were all coated in salt and vinegar but I resisted shovelling them all into my gaping cake hole and pretending to Mrs Michael that they’d accidentally fell on the floor and needed to be binned whilst wiping salt from my lips.

 

As a family we’ve been a lot better about not buying things on the sweeter side of the spectrum though Mrs Michael was bought a huge bar of peanut and caramel chocolate by her sister and I went as far as opening the packaging (already opened) and taking a deep inhalation of the heady cocoa aromas.

I felt a bit dirty but again did not succumb orally.  Hmmm.  That sounds a bit Bill Clinton doesn’t it.

I also figured a way of battling the temptation at work as there is a tuck shop about 4 metres from my desk and I could often be found buying a mars bar and a packet of crisps mid morning.  To give myself a fighting chance I have stopped taking money to work with me and also purchased a load of fruit (enough for the whole team) which I have to walk past should I want some sweet chocolatey goodness.

So mostly a few days of resisting temptation but apart from that I am rather enjoying it.

A Sunday something

Not sure my knowledge of singing ranges is actually accurate here, I did research it but you get the point.

Once a conflicted chap from the clergy

could not resist his evil urge he

started up a boys choir

all soprano or higher

now in jail for his crimes he got caught see

 

 

 

Diet o’clock 1st of July

The dreaded social situation…

You can read my first part here.

So, a week in on the Whole30 thing and it seems to be going rather well.  As far as weight loss it’s been successful but it’s not really about that.  This is about my attitudes to food and trying to make a sustainable change.

I knew at some point I would have to face temptation and this a week in and there it was.  England vs Belgium and invited round to friends to watch the game, have a few cheeky beers and a quick BBQ for half time.  I said yes without thinking and before I knew it I am sat in front of the TV with an array of crisps and nuts before me and the offer of Beer, cider, wine or GnT.

Let’s just say that you know you’re fat when you politely decline explaining that you are on a diet and nobody tells you it’ll be ok, it’s just the one it won’t hurt.  Mostly I can see them thinking “Phew, that’ll save on the catering.”

Anyway I survived that and had a little meat and some sparkling water and enjoyed a thoroughly awful England performance but the sun was shining so happy days.

Friday was a far more challenging ask.  It was the annual charity golf day and our team was entered many months ago so there was no getting out of it.  If I did then it was likely an orphan or an animal would suffer some awful fate so I dusted off my clubs and turned up.  Now the thing about the day is that your ticket includes a free bar and as much food as you can eat.  There are burgers and sausages available all day long and the savage 29c temperatures were not to be worried about because the bar was fully stocked with more beer and cider than you could wish for.

I had 2 plain burger patties, which I was most pleased with because I think I had 6 burgers last year.  That’s over the course of a 10 hour day drinking but still a lot I realise. I took 3 apples and just ate those and despite sweating like a pig in the baking sun and wanting nothing more than the sweet fruity nectar of an apple cider  – I resisted the booze too.

I realise it’s only a week or so in but feels like a significant step because I am pretty certain that normally I would have buckled.

Onwards and upwards I guess

 

Oh well that’s just lovely

Living the dream now people, living the dream. Abominable I realise. But amost true.

Hey you said he’d not win the election

locking kids up gives him an erection

which he’ll force on your Gran

sister, aunties or Mam

build a dead migrant wall for protection