Tag: inappropriate

On “Men” said a woman from Texas

 

“They’re like dogs, and oh my how they vex us

They wont leave you alone

’till they’ve buried the bone

disappear and then wont even text us”

 

 

 

 

A young lass with a vegetable fettish

 

saw a marrow and got rather wettish

zucchini clasped in each hand

she would loudly demand

“In my bottom please place a crisp lettuce!”

 

 

Once an amorous fellow from France

when alone he would take off his pants

for he could not resist

the sweet lure of the wrist

as he had little luck with romance

 

 

 

 

Star crossed lovers and destined by fate

a connection so deep and most great

then he let himself go

so she slept with his bro

and ran off with the dad of his mate

 

 

 

A poor fellow from deep Senegal

lost his penis and most of a ball

drank all day in the sun

whisky beer gin and rum

legs akimbo fell off of a wall

 

 

 

 

 

A corruptible fellow from Chad

had a thing for his girlfriends hot dad

he seduced with tight shorts

enjoyed sensual sports

but got aids and then died, oh how sad

 

 

A kind man had a quite evil wife

took the kids broke his heart oh such strife

Though I think theres an answer

how I hope she gets cancer

and it shortens the evil crones life.

 

 

They shout ‘MAGA’ and feed on your fears

he’s the saviour they’ve wanted for years

free to fondle and kiss

loves to shower in piss

takes a bath in a pool of kids tears

 

An adventurous fellow called Ted

like to wear women’s nickers to bed

though his wife seemed to care

he looked better than her

killed the mood and the moment quite dead

 

 

 

Tis a rule when the romance is starting

star crossed lovers refrain please from farting

but a month or two in

he’ll explode with a grin

in her face with such might, her bangs parting

Friend of mine met this hottie called Trevor

quite a dish but alas not too clever

abs of steel, jiggly pecs

oh my god and the sex

always game, here or there or wherever

 

 

 

 

 

A rotund chap from Old Billerickay

in hot weather turned red and quite sticky

sweat would run down his back

and then pool in his crack

thighs would chafe and his pits, god how icky

 

 

Once a conflicted chap from the clergy

could not resist his evil urge he

started up a boys choir

all soprano or higher

now in jail for his crimes he got caught see

 

 

 

 

“It was great” to her husband she lied

lasted moments despite how he tried

he would fall fast asleep

to the bathroom she’d creep

called her lover to be satisfied

A quite gallant and mindful Othello

met a lady, fair skinned, hair of yellow

kissed her hand, he did woo

declared his love was true

when in bed he found out ’twas a fellow

 

Once a well endowed lad from Aruba

met a lass kind of shaped like a tuba

she winced at sight of it

but turned out a great fit

and not once has he had cause to lube her

 

 

 

 

 

Once a woman with high expectation

of a future mate and social station

though things didn’t work out

shoved cocaine up her snout

ended up selling ass at the station

Once a fellow somewhat of a sceptic

when his girlfriend said she’s epileptic

well he ended up dead

had a fit giving head

bit it off, got infected, quite septic

 

 

 

Hey you said he’d not win the election

locking kids up gives him an erection

which he’ll force on your Gran

sister, aunties or Mam

build a dead migrant wall for protection

There once was a wife, sweet Theresa

who alas was quite prone to a seizure

Though sometimes during sex

he’d not know what was next

she’d vibrate, hub would squeal, a real pleaser!

 

Seems whenever I go out the sun’s shining

has me grumpy and sweaty and pining

for the end of the summer

all this sun is a bummer

when it’s cold though you know I’ll be whining.

 

 

There once was a vet from Manilla

fell in love with an 8Ft Gorilla

found it ever so grand

silver coat and big hands

things it did with bananas would thrill her

 

 

 

 

 

chap refused to  lave home – a grown man

so his parents came up with a plan

they would shag really loud

bring round the swinging crowd

and on Fridays his grandad and gran

Donald said “I know what will be beautiful

and a way to make cash indisputable

COMING SOON TO THE STAGE

CRYING KIDS IN A CAGE!

well make millions – Immigrants – THE MUSICAL!”