Tag: depression

A poor chap born just outside of Harrow

had to cart his testes in a barrow

but it gets even worse

’tis a terrible curse

has a penis the size of a marrow.

 

 

 

 

 

There once was a man from Gabon

personality, looks he had none

but he got loads of chicks

he was really quite rich

but they left him when it was all gone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There once was a lass born in Ghana

would do quite shocking things with banana

she would use up a bunch

between breakfast and lunch

though she said its ok, they wont harm her

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A chap who packed up and moved west

met this lass with a pendulous chest

quite the largest he’d felt

which she tucked in her belt

helps her posture, gives her back a rest

 

Once a newly wed bloke from Mauritius

told his wife that his jizz was nutritious

and quite good for her skin

and would keep her quite thin

raised an eyebrow, not daft, quite suspicious

 

 

Friend of mine had a girlfriend called Wendy

into swinging she said “it’s quite trendy”

he would idly stand by

whilst each penis she’d try

didn’t last, though she’s still an attendee

 

Heard you had a problem with your zip

and it caused a quite nasty large rip

got it stitched, put on cream

when you piss makes you scream

got infected and started to drip

 

 

On “Men” said a woman from Texas

 

“They’re like dogs, and oh my how they vex us

They wont leave you alone

’till they’ve buried the bone

disappear and then wont even text us”

 

 

 

 

A young lass with a vegetable fettish

 

saw a marrow and got rather wettish

zucchini clasped in each hand

she would loudly demand

“In my bottom please place a crisp lettuce!”

 

 

Once an amorous fellow from France

when alone he would take off his pants

for he could not resist

the sweet lure of the wrist

as he had little luck with romance

 

 

 

 

Star crossed lovers and destined by fate

a connection so deep and most great

then he let himself go

so she slept with his bro

and ran off with the dad of his mate

 

 

 

A poor fellow from deep Senegal

lost his penis and most of a ball

drank all day in the sun

whisky beer gin and rum

legs akimbo fell off of a wall

 

 

 

 

 

A corruptible fellow from Chad

had a thing for his girlfriends hot dad

he seduced with tight shorts

enjoyed sensual sports

but got aids and then died, oh how sad

 

 

A kind man had a quite evil wife

took the kids broke his heart oh such strife

Though I think theres an answer

how I hope she gets cancer

and it shortens the evil crones life.

 

 

They shout ‘MAGA’ and feed on your fears

he’s the saviour they’ve wanted for years

free to fondle and kiss

loves to shower in piss

takes a bath in a pool of kids tears

 

An adventurous fellow called Ted

like to wear women’s nickers to bed

though his wife seemed to care

he looked better than her

killed the mood and the moment quite dead

 

 

 

Tis a rule when the romance is starting

star crossed lovers refrain please from farting

but a month or two in

he’ll explode with a grin

in her face with such might, her bangs parting

Friend of mine met this hottie called Trevor

quite a dish but alas not too clever

abs of steel, jiggly pecs

oh my god and the sex

always game, here or there or wherever

 

 

 

 

 

A rotund chap from Old Billerickay

in hot weather turned red and quite sticky

sweat would run down his back

and then pool in his crack

thighs would chafe and his pits, god how icky

 

 

Once a conflicted chap from the clergy

could not resist his evil urge he

started up a boys choir

all soprano or higher

now in jail for his crimes he got caught see

 

 

 

 

“It was great” to her husband she lied

lasted moments despite how he tried

he would fall fast asleep

to the bathroom she’d creep

called her lover to be satisfied