Pyromaniac nympho called Linda
Took a lad home that she met on Tinder
Took some candles to bed
How he screamed as he fled
Burnt the poor fellows cock to a cinder
meh
Pyromaniac nympho called Linda
Took a lad home that she met on Tinder
Took some candles to bed
How he screamed as he fled
Burnt the poor fellows cock to a cinder
KARATE ON A FIRST DATE
Baby take my hand
Inappropriate touching
What would Jesus think

I’ve been here for some time now, and let me just say I am a big BIG fan of you earth girls.

Age: 43 Terran years
Relationship Status: It’s complicated
Pedal:Bi
I’ve been here for some time now, and let me just say I am a big BIG fan of you earth girls. With the relaxation of the cross species breeding regulations I am looking to find someone who shares similar passions to mine.
I love musical theatre and long walks on the beach and despite all that nasty death ray business am really an old romantic at heart. I adore late 18th century french poetry and I love to cook, and when it comes to wine have a great collection of Chilean reds which are just so fruity and a real treat.
When I’m not in the kitchen, immersed in Oklahoma! or enjoying the outdoors you’re sure to find me in the bedroom and if you’re a fan of probing then believe me, I am your guy. With Calgarian College of Probing certificates in Entry and Exit Studies, Intermediate Intestinal Investigations and advanced Rectal Ruminations I am sure to delight you in every way possible.
If probing leaves you feeling a little violated then dont let that put you off, I have a ten inch throbulus and with a little yoga and a cheeky sense of adventure I am sure we could make it magical.
So if you’re looking for something a little different how about you swipe right, and let’s hook up and see whether I can make you see stars.

In response to M’s prompt, ‘Meet you later by the flux capacitor.
This was part of the carrot ranch challenge to write a series of tweets all 9 words each. 11 of them to make a 99 word flash fiction. I managed to get the structure wrong as it was meant to be just 1 sentence but I enjoyed tweeting it anyway.
Omg date tonight with yummy coffee shop Barista. Eeeek.
He took my coat, his hand brushed mine. #chivalrynotdead
Lights off phone off show time. Sharing popcorn. Swoon.
#handholding rudely interrupted. Disturbance in the foyer. Police here?!?!
Getting the hell out of here. Wtf people dead!
Mum were heading home. Stay away from town #zombiehordes
They’re everywhere. No way out. Police overwhelmed, finding shelter.
Just saw an old lady eating a police horse…
#Baristaboy bitten. Hiding in Gregg’s bar. Scared mum, help!
He looks hungry. Worst first date EVER! #noexit goodbye…