Motivational Monday

In England they were chopping off peoples heads for not liking the right type of Jesus…

Turn on the television and you might think it was the end of the world.  I don’t care for religion but know plenty for whom it is most fulfilling and some of them seem rather excited by the prospect of it being the end of days and disappearing into the clouds.

Theres that orange American maniac picking a scrap with that quite ludicrous Korean buffoon, we have terrorists running amok with a new story of some sort of attack in London every few weeks and there are storms with rather unusual names bearing down on one place or another whenever I choose to pay attention to the news.

So, this got me to thinking – is it now really worse than it ever was or have things always been this way?  I figured the best way to answer this was some research and a considered response, and then I changed my mind almost immediately and decided to base this whole piece on conjecture and supposition.

So – what conclusion did I come to I don’t hear you ask.  Well, I think mostly no, it isn’t worse that it ever was  – in fact I think the world’s a better place, or at least no worse that it has been for many a year.

Terrorists?  Oh please, we have always had terrorists and people happy to chop off  other people’s heads for one god or another.  Remember the Crusades?  Only difference is that we can live stream if via Facebook now so more people are aware of it.

War?  I am certain that anyone who might whip u graph of conflict across the ages would prove my assertion that it’s probably no worse now in terms of one lot of people who want to do something beastly to another lot of people for mostly no reason at all.

Terrible things that happen to children?  You think the awful things that have happened to kids only started in the 50’s and 60’s?  How do you think your chimneys used to get cleaned?  Small hands make light work indeed.  Paedophilia isn’t a recent phenomenon I am certain, it’s just out in the open and no longer swept under the carpet.

Global warming?  Okay I might give you that one – though if the Donald is to be believed you’re wrong on that point too.

I quite like the world I live in, though I am a white middle aged male living in suburban England.  I am not a pot bellied starving African with a face full of flies so I may have to give you that one too though I bet if I wasn’t so lazy I could find evidence that says it’s been pretty horrid in parts of Africa and other places for as long as we can remember.  At least now we try and help out and we write catchy Christmas songs to raise money to feed the starving.

People may well be fleeing Africa for the promised land of Europe but it is not that long ago that we were fleeing Europe for America because all of our potatoes had gone a bit manky and in England they were chopping off peoples heads for not liking the right type of Jesus…

And do not get me started on how great smart phones are or the ability to stream Netflix in the depths of inner Mongolia whilst or just how brilliant all the different types of Oreo cookies are.

The world really isn’t all that bad I reckon, and I am pretty sure that if I did some real research I would prove that it used to be pretty rubbish for most people in the last 2000 years.  Maybe its now just not as rubbish for more people that it used to be.

I might be wrong but I am too ignorant to ever find out…


 

More stuff?  I have a lot of stuff if you fancy it…

I don’t have a dog called Caper – Daily prompt

Bernard and Charles – Daily prompt

Partner – Daily prompt

 

photo courtesy of photoshopper24 @ pixabay

Deep and insightfully insightfulnessness

Today’s blog introduces my new section, Ask Michael.

Seems that there are lots of blogs offering advice and inspiration so today I thought that I would perhaps try my hand at something a little different.   I have read a lot of the blogs out there so think maybe I might have the knack.

Life not what you thought it would be?  

How about…”All good things come to those who wait.”  Ooh,  how about “Life is what you make of it.”

Now you could sit around waiting for something wonderful though I would suggest you ask yourself if it really is that bad.  Okay, so maybe you’re one of those poor folk with a face full of flies and a sticky out belly button and is born into abject poverty and would prefer a loaf of bread over a fridge magnet quote but given that you are reading this, probably on a mobile phone, then I don’t think you’re one of them.

I imagine you have very few, if any, flies on your face and you probably have Amazon Prime Video and enjoy regular baths.  Maybe it could be better if you had NetFlix, but perhaps  just be grateful for what you have and keep working to try and improve yourself and your life and those around you because it could be a damn site worse and you could be wearing underpants that you got from a Lithuanian charity.

Feeling like a failure?  

Why not hang out with urine drenched homeless people and crack addled prostitutes for an afternoon?  You’ll feel so much better about yourself in to time, and will have a new found appreciation for the meagre amount you have achieved in life.  That is assuming they don’t rob you and steal your clothes and use you as a sexual plaything in a bus station toilet.

Lost your faith?

It will be fine I promise, in fact I would suggest you get out to the pub with a few mates and have some cocktails and shots and do some karaoke.  Chances are that whatever your faith strippers and flaming sambucas are on the do to list so enjoy it while you can.

You can always go back when you hit rock bottom, or at Christmas or on the day of the holy monkey god ascension day or whatever it is people go for these days.  We all know how much people of faith love welcoming back a lost soul, so they will probably have a barbecue for you, which would be lovely I am sure.

Let’s finish on a couple of things you could turn into motivational weight related fridge magnets shall we? 

I may have fat armpits, but at least I do not look like I have aids.

I beat anorexia!

I smell like pies because it makes me feel sexy.

That’s just a sample of my wisdom, and you’re feeling better now I imagine.  Not bad for a first attempt I reckon.  As you can see I am all heart and am here to share your pain.  

Feel free to leave a comment and I will happily advise you how to fix your life.


Fancy reading something else?

Ichabod the first

Badger and Fox

More miserable and inappropriate limericks – Not for the kiddies


Photo courtesy of Geralt@pixabay