Category: haiku

How do I love thee

Doting, heart full of passion

reciprocated?

Filled with yuletide joy

Sleighbells and snow balls delight

have patience perhaps

Excess indulgent

and without constraint consumes

loses all control

Realisation

emerges, charade no more

looks fab in gold shorts

Youth’s ardour now quenched

Alas love’s sweet song now soured

cupid you wanker

Moist…plump…succulent

Juices flowing, steaming hot

a waste of turkey

Childish and purile

should know better at his age

plus he followed through

Extra spicy please…

Flatulence just like fire

screams on the toilet

BFF and more

Husband no longer needed

so many plusses

In the locker room

he learns and yearns, she declines

Not that kind of girl

Alone he explores

lubricated penetrates

oops, where did it go

Complacent lovers

Just going through the motions

minds wander elsewhere

Romance rekindled

they think that they still have it

time’s taken it’s toll

a slip of the tongue

as they slip between the sheets

flaccid and forlorn

Plump stockings filled up

with Cristmas Innuendo

It’s still November

Much beer consumed

the bromance intensifies

and boundaries blur

dating going well

she breaks the fart barrier

Arse like satan’s breath

imagination

unleashed rampant and savage

in his head at least

Aids rampant ran wild

he insists he’s been faithful

dead now so guess not

She, most unimpressed

a miscommunication

he pleads innocence

his inner caveman

the habitual scratcher

loves his own odour

thinks she’s losing weight

comes home early, discovers

why her pants don’t fit

Sour grumbling tum

Thought that the coast was clear

“hold the lift” she cried