Tag: meat

On the matter of eating endangered species

ONE FROM THE ARCHIVES

I would not eat a panda

it does not appeal to me

Despite it being grass fed

and not tough and quite juicy

It’s flesh I would not sauté

bake or broil or steam or fry

I would not make some pastry

and then bake it in a pie

Please do not serve me blue whale

it would surely be obscene

To brown it in a skillet

with chopped garlic and some cream

I could not sample blow hole

or a steak of flesh most pink

Do not prepare me sperm whale

or an orca or a mink

Bald Eagle’s off the menu

it could never pass my lips

I’d never shallow fry it

And then serve it with some chips

Please do not bring it to me

if you do I will reject

The smorgasbord of tasty

claws and wings and beaks and necks

Be gone you furry entrée

do not ask me to abide

A puppy stuffed with kitten

and Koala on the side

It leaves me feeling queasy

and on me it does repeat

I gag on eucalyptus

flavoured mar-su-pi-al meat

I’d never eat a chilli

made of simians for sure

Orang-utan with lentils

that I surely would deplore

I’d not enjoy chim-pan-zee

milk poached with fresh vanilla

I’d rather eat a salad

than bar-be-cued gorilla

But pig and cow I’ll gorge on

and chickens fill the belly

Once eels I even sampled

But the hot ones not in jelly

So why’s each species different

some not headed for the pot

whilst others we eat freely

quite delicious cold or hot

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Fancy something else?
https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/03/first-blog-post/
https://afterwards.blog/2017/07/14/we-unlikely-few/

Oh those yummy dirty bits

mmmmmmmeaty goodness

There are those who will dine

on fine foods and great wine

and who want just the finest of treats

But not me, no, no way

I’m quite proud when I say

Im a fan of the less refined meats

 

Give me Pies filled with heart

though it does make me fart

give me puddings of tripe, brains and balls

though it makes me quite gassy

I can still keep it classy

and with gravy for sure eat it all

 

Give me chicken arse flan

I’m not bothered with ham

give me dishes pile high with pig scrotum

I’ve this recipe for stew

with the balls of gnu

and some others, so good,  ‘cos I wrote ’em

 

Oh I cannot resist

the dark meats on my list

how i crave juicy brains, spine and liver

feed me pies filled with wings

of all high flying things

lick my lips in delight how I shiver

 

Dont cast doubt or dispute

nature’s leftover fruit

say ‘perhaps’ if your offered intestines

you might just take delight

at each savoury bite

as you wash it down with rich red house wines

 

Oh I would not eat a vegan

Just a little something before bed…

Kinda inspired by this if you’ve never read it. I think its one of my best…I even did an audio version.

There are things that pass my lips that I so willingly enjoy

A baby cow, a deer, some sheep, to them utensils I deploy

Fried , roasted, dipped in fondue cheese my preferences are wide

I know they’re cute on the outside, but I so crave the meat inside

Loin, flank, short rib, grass fed, food bid, to stop my clothes from spoiling

Oh whip me up wild roaming fowl, salted, spiced post boiling

These things I lust, my lips do quiver in anticipation

I realise it leaves some folk in the most sternest consternation

But they are safe, so rest assured, my menu rightly lacks their cut

For far too lean and scrawny I do find them, they don’t satisfy my gut

And even though you add some veg, add onions or some aubergine in

No thanks, fear not, I’ll have a salad, for I could never eat a vegan