Ive a story to tell, settle down listen well
Tis a tale of a woman of needs
And the cravings inside, which have made her quite wide
And the treats upon which she so feeds
Now Maria’s her name, and cake wrangling’s her game
Shes a pro, every day on her lips
Whether Gateau’s or pies, small or massive in size
Cream and chocolate into her mouth drip
She’s mad for banoffee, and small cupcakes with coffee
She’ll do things rather dirty for choux
Muffin gobbler is she, has cream horns with her tea
Panettone? Just a portion or two
Of red velvet she’ll dream and she quaffs it with cream
And then onto some sweet baklava
She hides brownies in bed, and loves sweet pumpkin bread
Stashes souffle down inside her bra
Doughnuts, pancakes and tarts, cookies shaped just like hearts
And on shortbread she eats quite her fill
Gives hand jobs for yum yums, taste so sweet on her tongue
For a fruit cake she’d happily kill
For no matter the treat, just as long as it’s sweet
Our Maria she needs to eat more
Sponge cake, jam filled with cream they’re an absolute dream
The cake wrangler can’t help but adore
Afterwards 