Oh jolly fatman
Sneaks down your chimney at night
And watches kids sleep
Category: haiku
Screw you Xmas haiku…7
Carollers bring Christ
Hark the herald angels sing
Atheists slam doors
Screw you Xmas haiku…6
Reindeer hard at work
Sleigh bells, joy and Christmas gifts
Used to roam free once
Screw you Xmas haiku…5
Snowmen and sleighbells
Crisp snow brings Christmas delight
Hobos die freezing
Screw you Xmas haiku…3
One a day…
Friends and family
Indulge and make merriment
So drunk, shit the bed
Screw you Xmas haiku…2
One a day…
Silver bells, eggnog
Gifts and time with family
Soaring divorce rates
Screw you Xmas haiku…1
|One a day for your holiday displeasure
Oh little Donkey
With your precious Christmas load
And murderous thoughts
Hey its a Thursday haiku for you
Its beginning to feel a lot like…
Filled with yuletide joy
Sleighbells and snow balls delight
have patience perhaps
Screw you haiku
Age, comes to us all…
Long and tiring day
Nice cup of tea before bed
up all night peeing
Look a butt haiku just for you.
Words of warning
Love wains, they try to
keeps it fresh in the bedroom
Things in tight spaces
Yeah, screw you Haiku
Shall we??
A few that were lying about…
Secret Santa? No?
You make baby Jesus cry
Ebeneezer scrooge!
Doing shots, fun times
Chug chug, life of the party
threw up on the bed
Got the kids a dog
cavorting, barks of delight
urine stained carpets
Taking out the trash
cabbage juice on my good shoes
bloody cheap bin Bags
Screw you haiku. Yeah I love you baby!
The heart wants what the heart wants…
Destined, sweet embrace
.
Two hearts entwined eternal
.
Love transcending time
a haiku 4u.
More milk!!!!
yummy vindaloo
Arse like a Japanese flag
next time have korma
another awful haiku for you .
Time to ruin diminuitive japanese poetry…
Proud of his conquest
.
though the darkness holds secrets
.
by day shame abounds
Yet Another Screw you, haiku.
Dance like no ones watching, they said…
Embrace your body
Dance as if no ones watching
but close the curtains
Another Screw you, haiku.
If only we were like the birds
She’s free as a bird
morning song and wings take flight
Shits on men from trees
Screw you, haiku.
I realise this was the Japanese intention for Haiku. It’s fine. Really.
Get a real job
Fucking hate influencers
I hope bears get you
Yeah screw you too haiku!
Ruining diminutive Japanese poetry one haiku at a time
From lips do words spill
That oft hearts true needs do hide
Revealed over time
Screw you haiku
life…love…repeat
Soul mates, united
Made one across space and time
Different yet the same
Screw you haiku
More bran for you Sir!
Loves his processed food
Needs more fibre on his plate
Difficult movements
Look its a haiku for you.
One for the lovers out there
Lovers spice things up
If it not meant to fit there
Don’t put things inside
Another haiku… He couldn’t help himself…
Hot bird cravings
Moist…plump…succulent
Juices flowing, steaming hot
Did I mention moist?
Oh yes screw you haiku
KARATE ON A FIRST DATE
Baby take my hand
Inappropriate touching
What would Jesus think
Fetish Haiku – Maschalagnia
A reminder that I did these once
Read here if you’re wondering “why the bloody hell is he writing fetish haiku?”
Maschalagnia
_____________________
Head down inhaling
hot musky heady odours
tangy on the tongue
_______________________
Armpits. Some people are get all amorous for pits. Fair enough I guess.
Screw you haiku!
Dont trim too much, gents…
You know who to blame
No one can ever enjoy
A small black moustache
Afterwards 