More R Rated Limericks.


I blame these on you lot for encouraging me…


A fine actor from Hollywood hailed

and young men he apparently nailed

one with mouth he did please

as he dropped to his knees

many more he’d seduce but he failed


Dairy sales man who worked in Calcutta

Had a mind that was oft in the gutter

Home he’d go self to please

Rub his bollocks with cheese

And his nipples he’d smother in butter.


There once was an old man from Chile

Now you’re thinking I’ll write of his willy

That would be rather sick

To write odes of old dick

I’m more grown up than that, don’t be silly…


An innocent chap from Taiwan

who kept puppies and sweets in a van

Gave away outside schools

Church bazaar’s, public pools

worse charity ever, stupid man!


Bloke next door has this girlfriend, most flirty

Who based on the noise, gets quite dirty

“God that stings” through the walls

Heard him shout, slips and falls

Bangs his head, seems she’s also quite squirty


Sorry.  Kinda.