If I was not English

An ode to ignorance

So if I was not English, and I think I will suppose

The type of things I would enjoy, and ponder upon those

For foreign,  people often seem, when seen on the TV

their weird ways, their lovely teeth, they’re really not like me

 

If French all day Id feast on Cheese and pastries I’d consume

and walk around in open shirts, with frills and pantaloons

turn up my nose at things not french and art I would adore

and get myself a second wife and hide her like a whore

 

If Spanish I would surely sleep each day from noon ’till 5

I need a nap,  been up since 9, if not I’d not survive

Then mostly I’d eat squid for tea and sip on wine all night

and watch the Brits on holiday  – they drink and puke and fight

 

If German born Id surely spend efficient time at work

then home for beer and sausage and some sauerkraut, what a perk

in leather shorts I’d strut around, my bare chest on display

and dance to David Hasselhoff, fat bottom I would sway

 

Across the pond I think perhaps gun toting I would be

it seems it fine if I shoot dead the folk who bother me

Defend myself from innocents not like me, how sublime

I’d get myself grenades and guns, some rockets and a mine

 

 

OK, so I will stop that there.  I kind of lost my sense of humour the day that daft twat started shooting people at a country and western concert and found myself hating everyone and everything and just wondering how on earth do we end up doing such awful things to each other.  I got that far before I calmed down a little but still felt all of this frustration at the stupidity of people and then started writing and thought yeah Im just as bad, mocking people so I stopped but I then thought oh heavens just press publish because it is what you felt at the time.  I had this desire to just ridicule and mock, but not too severely.  Passive mockery if you will.

Anyway, it is what it is and I am what I am.  I do find humour in most things and most situations and for the most part think the world is quite hilarious.  Then I started taking myself far too seriously.

you should have seen what I had planned to write about the Chinese and the Italians…awful awful stuff.


Scratch – Daily prompt

Fly me to the moon – Sunday photo fiction

Faeries: The long winter

 

Grrrrrr

Not a piece I am particularly proud of but it is what it is.  *Presses publish*

I know, my last piece was rather dark.  So how about limericks to lighten the mood.  This week I will be mostly considering terrorists and fundamentalist sorts who thinks the only way is their way.  

Hmmm.  I should probably delete that.  All sounds just a bit angry.

An american chap who gets weird

if he sees a tanned bloke with a beard

thinks they all carry bombs

and oppress wives and moms

bought a gun, shot a few, as I’d feared

 

A  bomber killed folk in God’s name

people think all his kind are the same

blew himself all to bits

what a right bunch of shits

But we cant give all Muslims the blame

 

Hmmm.  Not as light hearted as I had hoped for.

 

A godly man fancied this kid

you’d be shocked at the bad things he did

but the church saw no crime

said “Don’t do it next time”

and made sure that his sins were well hid

 

Think I might be in a bit of a mood and rather judgemental.  Oh well.  

A fellow quite grumpy, a Brit

sat typing some quite nasty shit

think hes in quite a mood

maybe he needs some food

and a nap and to swear less, that’s it

Not a piece I am particularly proud of but it is what it is.  *Presses publish*