More revolting limericks

limericks to make you roll your eyes and make tutting noises.

I believe that the limerick form can cheer up even the most horrid of subjects. ย What do you reckon?


There once was a butcher named Chuck

would sell any old meat for a buck

he’d sell dachshunds as steak

sell you minced rat and steak

‘stead of chicken you’d get pigeon or duck

 

There once was a Baker call Ned

quite a perv, things he did with the bread

doughnut holes…yeah believe it

used his bits to achieve it

late at night he’d take croissants to bed

 

 

A fellow, a candlestick maker

had a wife who in bed was a faker

so he took to his bed

brought his work home instead

now quite easy for him to placate her

 

 


 

 

 

 

Author: Michael

Husband, dad,programmer, comic collector and proud Yorkshireman. I have no idea why im here or why im writing but i rather enjoy it. no great fan of punctuation;

16 thoughts on “More revolting limericks”

  1. Yes kids love to repeat what they hear and they will parrot what their parents say … speaking of parrots, my friend has an Amazon Grey parrot and he picks up phrases her and her husband say more after just a couple of times. They don’t swear … my friend, a walking pal I met at the Park, is a former nun. They were watching a pirate movie a few months ago and their bird started chanting โ€œFifteen men on the dead man’s chest, yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum,โ€ Like kids, in one ear, and then out of the mouth – you cannot make them un-hear it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My friend is quite religious and doesn’t drink and was a little horrified that her bird Digger was dancing around in his cage and bobbing his head to this pirate song. We had a murder case here in Michigan where the bird repeated what was said during the time of the murder … “don’t *&^% shoot” … and it ended up in a conviction. The trial was last Summer and it was the same type of parrot, an African Gray, as my friend’s. http://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/michigan/2017/08/28/woman-gets-life-prison-murder-witnessed-parrot/105060404/

    Liked by 1 person

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