Somewhat starvin’ Marvin

I have no idea why.

Now a chap I knew could not contain the things he daily ate

no matter what he had and piled so high upon his plate

He’d gorge and feed his hungry face, sweet scollops, cakes and trout

then suddenly without fair warning it would come back out


He’d dine on steaks and fries and eat a pizza with meat on it

then forcefully with gusto great came forth projectile vomit

A meagre mouthful would result in gagging and some retching

one time he even soiled his trousers, brown on cream – quite fetching


Okay so I will stop there.  I recognise that sometimes I go a little far but this is just a bit weird.  I think it was funnier in my head than I can actually do on paper.  I then also got to thinking just what might make him so very unwell and think maybe he might just have a nervous disposition rather than it being an eating disorder.  At that point I now find myself thinking that he would probably then just have stayed home which is pretty sad and the likelihood of him having a wife or girlfriend is pretty slim so it’s really just descending into a pretty sorry tale and all a bit depressing.

Seemed a shame to waste a good title and picture so I guess I will just leave it there.  Feel free to finish it if you like.

Plus, there isn’t really a word that rhymes with hungry and even puke and barf are pretty limited so it was never going to end well.




Hairy Teddy Tucker

I have no idea why.

Now it seems Ted has a passion for the trendy and for fashion

And the feel of fabric tight against his skin

Now he’s a manly man don’t doubt it but sometimes he cannot fight it

And into a little red dress he’ll slip in


Loves the way it makes him look just like a model from a book

Or so he tells himself so as to not feel weird

How it accentuates his form and no it might not be the norm

But he also thinks it goes well with his beard


He feels quite confident and hot and his wife doesn’t mind one jot

In fact she likes the way it makes his bottom look

Though as it’s rather sheer some things do stand out, oh dear

She suggest perhaps he might just try a tuck


So with his package put away and sexily his hips do sway

And he feels gorgeous and quite special, rather girly

Lips full they taste of cherry glass of wine he’s feeling merry

And to the bedroom leads the way his tuck unfurling