Alphabet Soup – Room 101. I’d mostly just pass this one by.

This is offensive and crass and pretty childish really and just ignore it.

 Let’s do one of M’s prompts.

Today it’s alphabet soup.  This is not written for anyone or aimed at anyone but instead a piece that I should be better than.  It’s just a list of profanities listed alphabetically and loosely rhyming.   Imagine it as maybe a breakup letter written to someone or a poem written for a colleague when you’ve left work.

This is probably my swearing quota out of the way for the month.Maybe read this instead its wholesome.  And this is very grown up.





A is for arsehole and B is for Bastard

C for Crap and perhaps sometimes C*%T

And D so for Dickhead or maybe a Douche

E’s for effing,  please don’t take affront


Fuck is quite obvious, Goddamnit is G

Hard-on might be a stretch, cut me slack

Idiot will do me when searching for I

J for jackoff said behind your back.


K for Knob really suits you Its british for cock

L for Lobcock.  It’s bad – look it up

Mother fucker a classic you sure must agree

Youre a Nupson if not, useless tup


Onanist that’s describes you a tosser for sure

And a prick if you really must know

Q I aint got a thing cos I’m not homophobic

Rimjob suits you cos you really blow


Shit-face, spanner and sod I have next on my list

And then twat ‘cos its obviously so

Uropygium, bird’s anus – I looked that one up

Vaffanculo –  Italians will know!


Wanker, wally and whore seem to work pretty well

Xanthippe, Yarak and Zatch work real well

Now go google and find out just what they all mean

And when done kindly then go to hell.


Author: Michael

Husband, dad,programmer, comic collector and proud Yorkshireman. I have no idea why im here or why im writing but i rather enjoy it. no great fan of punctuation;

5 thoughts on “Alphabet Soup – Room 101. I’d mostly just pass this one by.”

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