Oh blessed relief
Did I mention I like to colour? No? Oh I do. I particularly like to colour sweary things. I try to stay in the lines but I’m not really one for being told what to do. Here’s one I did earlier. I am also rather excited about a Judge Dredd one I bought recently which I will show you at some point.
It’s rather therapeutic you know and certainly worth exploring. Here’s one I did earlier 🙂
Do you dabble at all?
This is offensive and crass and pretty childish really and just ignore it.
Today it’s alphabet soup. This is not written for anyone or aimed at anyone but instead a piece that I should be better than. It’s just a list of profanities listed alphabetically and loosely rhyming. Imagine it as maybe a breakup letter written to someone or a poem written for a colleague when you’ve left work.
This is probably my swearing quota out of the way for the month.Maybe read this instead its wholesome. And this is very grown up.
A is for arsehole and B is for Bastard
C for Crap and perhaps sometimes C*%T
And D so for Dickhead or maybe a Douche
E’s for effing, please don’t take affront
Fuck is quite obvious, Goddamnit is G
Hard-on might be a stretch, cut me slack
Idiot will do me when searching for I
J for jackoff said behind your back.
K for Knob really suits you Its british for cock
L for Lobcock. It’s bad – look it up
Mother fucker a classic you sure must agree
Youre a Nupson if not, useless tup
Onanist that’s describes you a tosser for sure
And a prick if you really must know
Q I aint got a thing cos I’m not homophobic
Rimjob suits you cos you really blow
Shit-face, spanner and sod I have next on my list
And then twat ‘cos its obviously so
Uropygium, bird’s anus – I looked that one up
Vaffanculo – Italians will know!
Wanker, wally and whore seem to work pretty well
Xanthippe, Yarak and Zatch work real well
Now go google and find out just what they all mean
And when done kindly then go to hell.
For the first time in nearly 6 months I have just spent more than a day away from my blog.
For the first time in nearly 6 months I have just spent more than a day away from my blog. In the past Ive had the odd spell away, but nothing like this. For 4 days in fact I have not made a post, read a comment or read anything anyone else has posted.
It was at first rather frustrating but there were these Ikea cupboards that needed to go up you see plus others that needed moving from one side of the bedroom to the other. Now, in order to achieve that they needed to be dismantled which I kind of managed but then the dismantling was followed by shouting, swearing, sweating and me then apologising to the family for being a complete dick and a quite awful human being.
The second night I repeated my performance, to somewhat of a lesser degree, but again I was a twat and I will admit that I am this point thinking that I have issues. No matter how hard I tried the combination of my complete ineptness and the quite obvious evil nature of these wardrobes brought out my inner twat.
Another night of it and by the time I had done them all I simply had no joy left in me and found it rather hard to return and it has taken a couple of days of cocktails, Christmas merriment and festive television to get me back to some sort of place where I have both the time and the inclination to write again.
I have some catching up to do I think but just glad my wife didn’t make me sleep in the garden this Christmas really. She’s a frightfully patient woman.
Merry Christmas
Michael x
Afterwards 