Now I ask myself so many times when I see what others do

Would I maybe like to do as they and try those wild things too

Could I dangle like a Christmas bauble bungie cord attached

Though I fear that I would shit my pants and it run all up my back


How about I run in Spain with bulls it seems intense for sure

Though I’m fat and old and rather slow and my arse they’d surely gore

And I don’t enjoy paint balling as I did it once, and no

I’m far too big a target and it bloody hurts you know


And no to surfing thanks no thanks, I tried it when much younger

as my trunks came off and my arse was filled with sand when I went under

and I have no urge to parachute though I have no fear of flying

it’s the mess you make when the chute don’t work and Im quite averse to dying


I’d thank you kindly if you said you’d we’re hiking in the hills

But I’ll just stay home as its full of bears and they give me the chills

Though they’re not as bad as sharks so no with them I’ll not be swimming

Think I’ll skip it and watch Netflix and my nails they do need trimming

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